Discussion What would you be doing without SS?

[NotMeant2B]

So we all know that there's almost no place like this one to vent our hearts out and discuss seriously about suicide without any preacher jumping onto us and give us that treatment we're all familiar with.

And the question remains: what would you be doing if this place didn't exist?

Starting with me, I'd probably be bottling everything up like I usually do, and just trying to get it out of my system by means of doublespeak and cryptic hidden messages in my online profiles.

What about you?

 

[Hypergang2018]

Living in fear of involuntary hospitalizations and pointless arguments with pro-lifers

 

[Nemeshisu]

I would literay become pretty much insane and CTB in some painful and impulsive way or by straving myself to death. Seriously, before I found out about SS, I had panic attacks, often for no reason at all. But since I joined SS my panic attacks stopped, and I can finally focus on something even if it is planning my own suicide.

I would also live in constant paranoia that would make me hate literary every human that forces me to be alive. I would appear as an normal person who deep inside hates everyone and wants only to die. SS gave me a sense of belonging and although I still hate pro-lifers, i became a lot kinder and more calm person.

 

[Ghost2211]

Probably would have impulse ctb by now. I had no real social support, and certainly couldn't speak openly about my suicidal thoughts.

Being able to help people even if it is to a small degree gave me a sense of self worth that I had completely lost from recent events. It gives me a perspective on life an death to meet people and get to know them, and the say goodbye.

You are all truly amazing beautiful people. The love, acceptance, and support offered by this group is like no other I've seen anywhere else.

 

[k75]

Strangely, I think I'd already be dead. I have found support here that is different than I had before, and I found ways to rein my suicidal ideation in and pull myself from the ledge. I also have a place to project all this destructive energy in a much better way.

Or I'd be in a very bad situation, because I was favoring a method that probably would not have had a good outcome.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I would have used a brutal method to ctb. And I probably would have done it sooner.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I'd be quiet about it all, and I would have less of a support group. This group has enabled me to have a voice, whether it's a "crazy" infused voice or not I still at least have one, which has influenced me more times than not.

 

[porfin1234]

I honestly don't know if this place is good for me. You all are lovely, but it makes it easy for me to indulge and wallow for hours and hours on end. At the same time people can be uplifting and help ground some when obsessing over impulsively CTB.
I feel even more isolated from the outside world. This place has become my identity (or rather reinforced it).

I have no idea what I would be doing instead.
This is the lowest point for me where I don't even do laundry or buy groceries so.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I honestly don't know if this place is good for me. You all are lovely, but it makes it easy for me to indulge and wallow for hours and hours on end. At the same time people can be uplifting and help ground some when obsessing over impulsively CTB.
I feel even more isolated from the outside world. This place has become my identity (or rather reinforced it).

I have no idea what I would be doing instead.
This is the lowest point for me where I don't even do laundry or buy groceries so.

I can sympathize about the laundry and groceries..depression is a bitch.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

If this place didn't exist then I'd be doing the same thing I was doing before I knew this place existed.

 

[k75]

This is the lowest point for me where I don't even do laundry or buy groceries so.

I only recently managed to pull myself out of that place, so I completely understand how you're feeling. I'm not doing tremendously better, but I managed to go buy a little food the other day.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

So we all know that there's almost no place like this one to vent our hearts out and discuss seriously about suicide without any preacher jumping onto us and give us that treatment we're all familiar with.

And the question remains: what would you be doing if this place didn't exist?

Starting with me, I'd probably be bottling everything up like I usually do, and just trying to get it out of my system by means of doublespeak and cryptic hidden messages in my online profiles.

What about you?

SS keeps me from going crazy. So I'll say this place does a big impact for everyone

 

[mukluk0713]

Since finding this place, I will say the pressure and the urgency of feeling like I need to CTB nownownow has lessened a lot. I used to feel like there was some timer counting down or something, that I needed to do it before anything else horrible happened to me, especially in moments of distress. I think I would have impulsively and violently CTB had I not found a place like this. Now it feels like an option that is always there, that I can take at my leisure. I think being able to be open and honest with people and have them be respectful of my choices and my feelings without the "NO NO YOU CAN'T FEEL THAT WAY BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SAD" type stuff has been SO immensely helpful.

I love all of you guys here, you're all wonderful people who deserve the best of everything

 

[Aleandra Felix]

I've been anonymously sharing my life, my thoughts and feelings online in several different forums and chatrooms (unrelated to suicide) since I was 12. I've never got any sort of help in these places but I'd occasionally find someone who'd listen to me. That kinda kept me going and helped me to endure some terrible shits I've been through. SS is a place where I don't need to wait for someone who will listen or understand me. Pretty much everyone is in the same boat and usually for similar problems.

Hadn't I found this forum, I'd be sharing my issues somewhere else. And studying hanging methods on Google. But I'm glad I'm here cause I learned a lot from you guys

 

[TAW122]

I would probably attempt (without the best information and possibly fail) CTB, then be showered and inundated with lots of pro-life spiel only to stew in misery, then in which case, I would be at constant war with pro-lifers, almost tit-for-tat and (sorry if I sound horrible for saying this, but...) probably make the pro-lifers' lives as miserable as possible and be as selfish as possible legally as they have made mine. This is because if I am in a situation where I am unable to die (no effective methods, no knowledge of effective means to do so, and what not), then I've sort of had this, well nothing to lose really mentality, might as well so fuck it, and also I don't always think vengeance is wrong (but that's another topic altogether).

This place is really invaluable for me as I'd be able to stay out of trouble IRL, be able to find like-minded individuals who will respect my views (even if we don't always agree with it), be able to express my views with being preached, patronized, condescended to, or judged, and many more. Most importantly, being able to acquire an effective means/method to escape this torturous existence.

 

[Quarky00]

Well, I would have been dead already ;)

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'd probably have hung myself and been dead already.

 

[Shinbu]

I probably would of found some other forum like this. I feel like I was destined to find a place like this.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Find suicide methods in other sites.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I'd likely be dead and might have unintentionally taken someone else with me.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Honestly if I hadn't found this 2 weeks ago, I would have used my gun and pulled the trigger. Judging by the method thread I read, I probably wouldn't haven't done it correctly. Now ive chosen sn

 

[Lady Lazarus 2020]

I'd be much, much more lonely. It's priceless to have a community where everyone gets it.

 

[Despondent]

Laying in my bedroom, fantasizing about death more than I am. I feel like these thoughts have calmed down more since I've joined. I realize that this is a place where no one is at all judgemental. The worst thing is getting serious advice, and that shouldn't at all be taken the wrong way. This is why I've opened up to my social worker, because even though I feel like nobody cares, this place makes it a little bit easier to find the little bit of guidance I need to make it through another day, days, or week.
Without this place, I would have never opened up to my social worker about my self harm and ideation. I would be sitting alone, nobody to talk to, and keeping all of my thoughts and emotions bottled up. I'd be self-sabotaging myself more than I already am lol

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Feeling option-less, i probably would have jumped off a building weeks ago.

 

[NotMeant2B]

To those who responded that they would have already killed themselves: do you think that SS has in any way hindered your opportunities to die?

 

[LMLN]

To those who responded that they would have already killed themselves: do you think that SS has in any way hindered your opportunities to die?

I did not answer yet, but I do think I might be dead or hurt and still alive. Or being filled with anxiety trying to find a method. I dont think I've been hindered at all. I just have a somewhat peaceful method on hand now. And a place to go with supportive and caring people where I can be completely open about my suicidal thoughts. I'm calmer knowing I could go at any time. I've lasted longer but I feel more in control now. Life is still very difficult. But more manageable with ss. ❤

 

[kohaku]

ironically, SS is what's prevented me from making impulsive suicide attempts. i've planned it out better and i owe it to this place that i haven't seriously hurt myself yet.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Hopefully dead, but probably fucked up over taking impure cyanide.
That was the original plan. I was researching how to synthesize cyanide potassium in home and Quora helpfully suggested using apricot seeds over apples because... reasons. I don't remember. Just boil the fuck out of them and either collect the top or scrape the bottom, I don't remember.
Alright, more research, googling, and suddenly I see SS and somebody pointing out that good cyanide potassium is nigh impossible to make at home in a good enough quality and that one should just buy some SN.
Took me like a week to gather the strength to make an account. Heh

 

[Meretlein]

Rotted in misery until I had the nerve to use a more brutal ctb method.

 

[passenger27]

I would've tried another half-assed, stupid attempt at suicide with benzos or something with no knowledge of more effective methods and probably would've landed in a mental hospital. Thanks SS, you guys rock.