I thought life was going great for the moment. I was riding its course. While I was still fighting my internal demons and resisting the urge to catch the bus, I was in a loving relationship with a girl who I thought reciprocated the same emotions. We had a game plan of meeting up, I purchased a plane ticket to come up for Thanksgiving and meet her parents, and then she slaps me with the "I'm feeling a bit off, and I'm not sure why. I think I'm just really busy and not feeling 100% here. I'm feeling distant. It isn't because of you."
This fucking crushed me. It has been almost five days... and she still hasn't said a fucking peep. How can someone be this cruel? Convince someone how much you love them to only fucking do this?
We always told one another that we're in it for the long haul. We established open communication. She broke my fucking trust. I've been so fucking hurt in my life and now I'm back to not trusting anyone; because I'm afraid that people are going to fuck me over.
So fucking pathetic that I tried going the extra mile for someone for them to become insensitive of how I feel. I get it. Breakups are for yourself... but why in the hell would you walk me on this tightrope of purchasing a plane ticket to just suddenly dump me a month before we plan on meeting? Or convince me of how much your parents are wanting me to visit.
God damn I hate being put in the trash can. It's became my second home! I'm so fucking pathetic for being this actual dense. My brain is an empty hollow pit.
I'm so fucking exhausted.