Gorgon

Gorgon

A sad sad
May 1, 2019
63
Seriously what would it take? Do you even know? I used to think I did but now I dont know if it's even possible. I've tried many thinks money, friends, family, work, arts, nature, counciling and I'm still the same sad person I have always been. I'm starting to think it's like 1980s film war games the only way to win is to not play.
 
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S

SickSadWorld

Member
Oct 5, 2019
29
The ability to time travel backwards.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
To be an ignorant, naivé, innocent child again.
 
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dreamsofdestruction

dreamsofdestruction

Everywhere I look is chaos
May 9, 2019
340
I kinda feel I'm at the point of no return now. It's really surprising, you always think all the bad things that needed to happen have happened, then it gets worse.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
To have my mom still alive ❤️
 
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charlottewilts

charlottewilts

read Dostoyevsky
Jun 15, 2019
494
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Darkhaven

Darkhaven

All i have left is memories
May 19, 2019
979
A cure for my disease and money.
 
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Boonks

Boonks

Lowlife
Mar 2, 2019
236
Hi,

I've been contemplating this lately. I'm disturbed by existential nihilism...the only way to combat that, for me, is hedonism...I suppose that would entail the pursuit of riches. Y'know, the optimistic nihilist says, "just because we're doomed doesn't mean we can't have a good time" Of course this is impossible for the one who's fucked by ahnedonia.

I *need* to feel like my existence is serving a higher purpose. This is why I was happiest when I was a religious nut. For this reason I am incapable of maintaining a minimum wage job long-term...I've been working on and off since I was 16...every job I had, I was *the best*, and received multiple promotions in a short time...this was a sickness though...I needed to prove my worth to myself...and also I said yes to everyone so everyone took me for a sucker. I'd rage-quit because the depression/anxiety would become unbearable. If I were stuck in the rat race working paycheck to paycheck I'd rather die on the streets. I need self-employment. But I need to be "A Somebody" - currently I am "A Nobody", I do not believe humans have intrinsic value, "every human life is valuable", I believe humans prove their worth...as I believe myself to be "A Nobody" I cannot be happy unless I become "A Somebody".

Also, had an oppressive, traumatic, abusive upbringing due to my sheltered no-life life...I was poor too...still am... I cannot be happy with financial limitations...so...I think my so-called "mental disorders" would be no more if my existence served a higher purpose, if I became A Somebody, and if I was rich.

P.S.: All of this is fuck all without my Dad and my two sisters I raised. If they're dead, I can't fathom being alive. But then there's the dog...shit. Guess I suffer til the dog dies, then I die. Lol. Can't kill the dog.

Boonx
 
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chrijo

chrijo

done
Feb 8, 2019
329
Erasing some memories might help.
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
To have people in my life who act like they've known me forever and enjoy my company... never had that before, bet it'd feel really good.
 
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mynameispaige

mynameispaige

Member
Sep 1, 2019
58
I don't even know what would make me happy anymore..
 
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C

CursedForDisaster

Student
Apr 1, 2019
187
A fresh start or at least the chance to go back 5-10 years, so nothing. I just don't see a way out, not unless I stumble upon someone who I connect with that is just as fucked up as me...I feel like I can't help but turn my life into a disaster and I don't see the purpose in trying to fix something that is broken this bad, I just don't care, I always find myself wondering if I ever really have.
To be an ignorant, naivé, innocent child again.
To be in school again would be amazing...the sad thing is I hated almost every minute of it. I used feel so tired and wanted to be alone, now I'm just alone and tired of myself. Why is it so difficult to enjoy the moment, why do we look at past moments (which we didn't seem to care for at the time) with nostalgia... it's a trip
 
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sadgirl2002

sadgirl2002

Fallen Angel
Apr 9, 2019
452
To be a child again or to turn back time to my teen years but since that's impossible and I can't have that, all I want is to have true love from the person I'm waiting for. That was pretty much "the dream" of mine throughout my life, to have that love.
 
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Crushed_Innocence

Crushed_Innocence

Hungry Ghost
Oct 16, 2019
423
TO meet the love of my life, have kids have a family and work together.
 
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Q

Qdv

Student
Sep 17, 2019
100
The true ability to change my personality...or turn back time to at least enjoy the last experiences I had where I was confident
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
The ability to time travel backwards.
This would help a lot. My life would be alot less embarrassing right now. I could have spared myself a lot of unnecessary suffering.
 
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Lethe

Lethe

Fey
Sep 19, 2019
670
Like others have said, I think returning to a more innocent time would be the only way, really. I'm too bitter and hardened now, despite my best efforts to look for a silver lining. I thought that starting male-to-female HRT would solve all my problems (started last year), and for a while it gave me a new lease on life, but it eventually dawned on me that it wasn't the miracle cure I was hoping for.
 
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Haku

Haku

Walking ThePathOfSorrow, destination Denebokshiri
Oct 12, 2019
270
I had thought alot about time travel, but for me having bad luck, I feel like I could change the situation, but not the outcome, so time travel would be worthless for me. I also thought about amnesia, but I feel like even if I forgot everything, I would still feel dread in my soul, not knowing why, and then eventually I might just end up wanting to die anyway, even if I forgot my past trauma, the dread would probably hurt so much that taking my life would be the only option. I dont know if it would actually happen that way, but I feel like it would. The next thing would be a miracle, but I know for sure that will never happen for me, so i see it as death being my only medicine to obtain the peace and happiness i want.
 
H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,027
DONT TOUCH THE BROWNIES
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
Go back 12 years and steer clear of my ex. She was the worst thing to happen to me bar none
Peace/hugs
 
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Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
Go back 12 years and steer clear of my ex. She was the worst thing to happen to me bar none
Peace/hugs
I'm stealing yours...I want to go back and redo the day I met my ex. Skip the place we met so it never happened.
 
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A

Avery Jordan

Member
Oct 14, 2019
71
Psychedelics and money.
 
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Enabran255

Enabran255

Numbed
Oct 2, 2019
101
I don't think I really need all that much. Just some good, loyal friends, the ability to support myself in a place with a better climate (winter and dreary days make me depressed thanks to SAD), and most importantly, romantic success.

Unfortunately I may as well be wanting my own private jet, because at this point I just don't think these desires will ever be realized. It's extremely difficult to make friends when you're at an age where everyone has long since settled down, have kids, and work all the time. If you haven't kept up with societal expectations for your age, you get ruthlessly judged and excluded from social circles.

After college it goes into nightmare difficulty level in terms of trying to build a social life. I also can't relate to anyone near my age because I'm light years behind them in life accomplishments. The people who share my interests are pretty much all 25 and younger, and most want nothing to do with someone my age.

As far as finding love, nope, if you can't support yourself as a man it's an instant dealbreaker. Let alone the other problems that come from a lifetime of being alone.
 
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Icarus

Icarus

Member
Jul 25, 2019
76
Going back to 2016. I still could fix things at that point.
 
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snowman626

snowman626

Mage
Jan 28, 2019
545
- not having to work a job i dont like, being able to do what i enjoy doing all day everyday without having to worry about making money
- owning a super modern (almost futuristic) home that i have all to myself (see pic below for an idea of my dream home)
- unlimited money
- a beautiful woman to spend life with me
- being in the best physical shape
- guarantee from some heavenly power that i'll never get sick or get seriously injured in some accident
- having a nembutal pill at my disposal. even if i never use it i just want to have the option

if i have all that then i'll be happy. but i still dont want to live till im like 80-90 and be weak and old. i still want to leave this world on my own terms, maybe i'll swallow the nembutal pill when im around 50-55, and i'll make a specific date many years ahead of time, and when the date comes i'll have a big goodbye ceremony and go out peacefully.

Here are some ideas of my dream home:

1c


1ba

I1c17

081

113


My Dream Woman:

1b



if somehow there is a heavenly afterlife and you can create anything you want then these are all things i will manifest after i leave this world
 
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Dreamwithinadream

Dreamwithinadream

Member
Sep 21, 2019
75
Good health, no more pain, and money.
 

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