John Smith
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2018
- 424
Having a disease. The final cherry on the shitcake of my life.
Kuba
God still keeps me in life
- Dec 4, 2018
- 28
if God gives me a simple sign i will do it no matter what . Just one sign and it will be done
I have no idea. I mean if something in me just snaps I'll do it, but I'm not sure what that would be.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,804
It could be a numerous amount of things. If I learn or find out that I'm losing my exit/method (like people trying to strip me of my firearm (illegally/unconstitutionally), or forbidding me to possess one while I'm living at their place (the latter I'd try to find a place where it isn't a problem).), going homeless with no safety net coming back (no financial support, no place to stay even temporarily), getting a serious permanent injury/illness, very old age (like middle aged or near senior age), and/or some other catastrophic event acting as a catalyst, or a series of setbacks and additional disappointments (even if they are minor events (more rejection, more shit and grief from society, more failures in lifem etc.), they add up).
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Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
Chronic pain returns but untreatable
Whatiwantiswhatiwas
A little less lonley together
- Dec 4, 2018
- 97
My first attempt was at 11 now in my 30s so I don't really know what it feels like not to want to die. Sometimes things are bearable and you just get on with things but I can always go so quickly into wanting it all over. I've had a very messed up past and things that haunt me but the way things are going now I should be happy. But I'm not, and that makes me feel like I'm not worthy of having anything even more. I feel guilty that my reasons compared to others are probably ridiculous.
Justanotherconsumer
Paragon
- Jul 9, 2018
- 974
Im 100% sure, I've also even had a "god" sign, in the form of a disembodied voice saying "are you ready to go" it was funny because "the voice" had the tone like holy shit dude how long is this crap going to take i have lunch at 11:00., well i said yes, but obviously i hafe to do all the heavy lifting. For about 30 seconds there i thought the "voice" was going to save me the trouble. Writing a good-bye note, reasons ect. Is a mind fuck all on its own, i suggest doing this and getting it over with, before implementing any plan, as an attempt requires full concentration and a steely resolve without much hesitation.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Letmego. Please
Wizard
- Nov 18, 2018
- 619
It already has, numerous times, so even if i accepted that i may get back up from this i still know i will be back here 100% in the future & I've had enough of groundhog day.
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
I feel like I'm groundhog Day. It all works out in the end. He gets the girl. But the same day still keeeeeeeps on repeating
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
He'll never give you a sign to do that
Kuba
God still keeps me in life
- Dec 4, 2018
- 28
If you're facing homelessness, get in touch. I've been homeless before. There are also resources online. Don't ctb solely because of homelessness, is what I'm saying.
http://www.reddit.com/r/almosthomeless
http://www.reddit.com/r/homeless
http://www.reddit.com/r/vandwellers
If you get a sign to kill yourself, it's either all in your head. Or from an entity that doesn't have your best interest in mind.
Kuba
God still keeps me in life
- Dec 4, 2018
- 28
he prepared path for me so i must just pray and deeply belive that he help me in this moments
Made4TV
A hopeless hope junkie
- Sep 17, 2018
- 574
I keep asking myself this. I thought it's what's happened over the last 3 years. But I am still hesitating.
So many things... say if I knew I would become homeless, or if I knew I had to work at a low skill job for the rest of my life.
onewayroad
“Dying is not a crime.” ― Jack Kevorkian
- Oct 4, 2018
- 358
As soon as I run out of treatment options, I'm done.
GhostedToast
Wants to disappear
- Sep 25, 2018
- 144
for things to get worse between me and my dad or to lose my friend that i'm sticky around for.
Im already sure. Ive had a whole bag of final straws. Ive been rotting for a while.
Kdawg2018
Still here...
- Nov 10, 2018
- 272
Moms_Spaghetti
Member
- Dec 25, 2018
- 86
You described my existence lol! It's like that movie Groundhog Day but way worse. Homelessness would push me to attempt.
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Being completely, 100% sure of my method. Don't know when it'll be to my dismay. I've become a perfectionist in regards to suicide ever since the failed attempt. Another failure just isn't an option.
I just took a bunch of random perscription meds I had been stocking up on overtime. I naively believed they would either kill me in my sleep or worst case scenerio nothing would happen. Boy was I wrong, left me with a list of traumatizing symptoms I won't go into on this thread. Am partially brain damaged because of it:(
Wasn't thinking much of anything, just mostly acted on impulse. Having a passive method that can be done on a whim make it less terrifying. Unfortunately, such methods are no longer easily available. Learned that the hard way.
SiArc
sassy and sarcastic-y
- Dec 10, 2018
- 230
I am already 100% sure about CTB. I see my future for my health, social situation, financial situation. None of it is what I want. I am a logical analytical person. I look at all angles. I cannot do what I was meant to do due to things that are wrong with my physically. This is not where I am meant to be. I cannot reach potential. Leaving is not sad for me, it is not desperation, it is what it is. Death is just another part of my path.
Lunaemoth
Member
- Dec 14, 2018
- 85
All I remember from my life is wanting to die. I was 11 when I first attempted and now I'm 26. I've thought about dying every day for 15 years, and I've never been glad I survived an attempt since or regretted trying... I've only ever regretted failing. Admittedly my attempts until now have been fairly spur of the moment. But I decided months ago I'd do it right this time, and I've had my well-researched method for weeks (SN). Now I'm six days to ctb. I rearranged my life so that I can't back out (expectations, lies I've told, quitting work, etc.) But I haven't felt the slightest urge anyway. All I feel is confidence I'll succeed and an almost euphoric sense of relief.
