What would happen if I were to take SN on a full stomach and a few ml of alcohol? Need someone to talk to.

[BeautifulMosaics]

Something triggered me. It's to do with phobias/disgust anxiety. Obviously it's not the only reason I want to CTB but it really has just pushed me that this broken/fucked brain I have is not something I want to go through life with. I just have too many problems.
It's funny cause' things are looking up for me, a new career prospect that I've passed many stages of, an interview coming up for a short-time job, I got some shrooms to microdose which are good for your mental health and breaking down barriers but it's all too late. Maybe it was my destiny because I feel like if I hadn't reached a certain age, I never would've felt that push anyway.
A stupid destiny to be tortured with these ridiculous, unusual rare problems. I just can't live with this broken brain anymore and tbh, the way my life's gone, most people would've given up a decade ago at the first sign of not being able to keep up in life. I had a dream that I really wanted to fulfill but I think it's too late now. I feel lost, I never felt lost before because I knew what my destiny was, but now I'm so old (mid/late twenties, I know it's not old but I feel it) and opportunities are closed to me and I certainly don't have the strength coupled with all these ridiculous problems/phobias/triggers I have, to compensate for the absense of those opportunities. Maybe a stronger/less affected person could, but not me. And maybe I don't want to.

I've never tried dying. Maybe I wouldn't even mind after all this time of trying to stay alive.

Please help, need someone to talk to. I've drank a bit to try and get these issues out of my mind. Who wants to live running away from their problems that nobody else has? What kind of way is that to live. I've thought that for years now. Even outside the phobias. Who wants to live running away from depression when it will always be there at the background like a low, constant hum?

If I could get rid of the phobias maybe I could give the other ridiculous problems I have a try. But it's all too much on one person, coupled with the fact that I never fulfilled my "destiny" and what I was supposed to do.

SOOOO the main question - what would happen? I feel full. Would I vomit and draw attention to myself or should I just take less but then that'd be a really painful, drawn-out death? I've read reports of people talking less than they should and experiencing bad pain.

 

[Amakishiyo]

Not following the protocol just increases the chance of things not going as planned or successfully, simple as that.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

What was your dream?

 

[soontobedone]

Unless you actually want to wake up in a psych ward, taking with food etc is not a good idea.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

What was your dream?

It was music. Nothing unusual but I think I could've done some unusual things but whatever lol.

Unless you actually want to wake up in a psych ward, taking with food etc is not a good idea.

So, I'll just have to suffer through mental turmoil and strain for nothing again. I said I'd never put myself in such a position again. I feel like I've been doing that all my life with nothing to show for it - I'm sure a lot of people here feel this way (it's what makes me feel so stupid compared to everyone else). Kmt.

Still, I certainly don't want that.

 

[GasMonkey]

Maybe another "SN failed" thread will appear. xd

 

[slugcat]

Something triggered me. It's to do with phobias/disgust anxiety. Obviously it's not the only reason I want to CTB but it really has just pushed me that this broken/fucked brain I have is not something I want to go through life with. I just have too many problems.
It's funny cause' things are looking up for me, a new career prospect that I've passed many stages of, an interview coming up for a short-time job, I got some shrooms to microdose which are good for your mental health and breaking down barriers but it's all too late. Maybe it was my destiny because I feel like if I hadn't reached a certain age, I never would've felt that push anyway.
A stupid destiny to be tortured with these ridiculous, unusual rare problems. I just can't live with this broken brain anymore and tbh, the way my life's gone, most people would've given up a decade ago at the first sign of not being able to keep up in life. I had a dream that I really wanted to fulfill but I think it's too late now. I feel lost, I never felt lost before because I knew what my destiny was, but now I'm so old (mid/late twenties, I know it's not old but I feel it) and opportunities are closed to me and I certainly don't have the strength coupled with all these ridiculous problems/phobias/triggers I have, to compensate for the absense of those opportunities. Maybe a stronger/less affected person could, but not me. And maybe I don't want to.

I've never tried dying. Maybe I wouldn't even mind after all this time of trying to stay alive.

Please help, need someone to talk to. I've drank a bit to try and get these issues out of my mind. Who wants to live running away from their problems that nobody else has? What kind of way is that to live. I've thought that for years now. Even outside the phobias. Who wants to live running away from depression when it will always be there at the background like a low, constant hum.

If I could get rid of the phobias maybe I could give the other ridiculous problems I have a try. But it's all too much on one person, coupled with the fact that I never fulfilled my "destiny" and what I was supposed to do.

SOOOO the main question - what would happen? I feel full. Would I vomit and draw attention to myself or should I just take less but then that'd be a really painful, drawn-out death? I've read reports of people talking less than they should and experiencing bad pain.

God this seems lika an awful and painful situation, feeling like life is sliping through your fingers.

If you want someone to talk to, if it would be of any help, i am always open

 

[FireWalkWithMe]

Probably nothing special in the sense SN would still take some effect. It's not like a cheeseburger and a sip of beer is an impenetrable shield for a poison.

The problem is you'd have no ability to predict exactly what happens. It's like conducting your own science experiment..on yourself. It may not absorb in the same way, the lethal dose may change, you may be more likely to puke.

When people follow the guidelines there's a body of evidence that says roughly what is likely..when you conduct your own method there ain't. So why would you want to engage with a process where you have no expectation of what can happen. It's like one final act of self sabotage!

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

Probably nothing special in the sense SN would still take some effect. It's not like a cheeseburger and a sip of beer is an impenetrable shield for a poison.

The problem is you'd have no ability to predict exactly what happens. It's like conducting your own science experiment..on yourself. It may not absorb in the same way, the lethal dose may change, you may be more likely to puke.

When people follow the guidelines there's a body of evidence that says roughly what is likely..when you conduct your own method there ain't. So why would you want to engage with a process where you have no expectation of what can happen. It's like one final act of self sabotage!

You're right. Not worth it. I just can't take this torment. It's the worst kind to me. I can take depression EASILY. But when I'm disgusted by something it just fucks me up. The anxiety in my brain is just sick. It's just in my mind. Normal people don't have this obsession do they? lol. If I had the right gun and had done my research into where to aim I'd honestly blow my brain out. It's fitting as that is the source of the problem in the first place.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

It would not help at all. An empty stomach will absorb the SN quicker, even if you do vomit on an empty stomach. And you will certainly vomit with a full one, and the effect of SN will not be that quick and effective.
I'm myself torn now by this question, regarding only alcohol. I'm considerably less ballsy when not under the influence. But somehow I'll have to manage to abstain for at least 24 hours. Alcohol alone causes my acid reflux to go rampant. Adding a ridiculous ammount of SN to the mixture would be explosive no doubt.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

Like it's now 7 hours later and obviously I'm not feeling full anymore. I can't even sleep because that would involve closing your eyes and feeling some peace and mental quiet, but I can't even have that.

Will possibly attempt (let's be honest it'll work unless by some miracle) when I get the house to myself in about 6 hours maybe? Just gotta sit here hungry, my stomach is gonna gruummble smh.

 

[lebrodude]

It would not help at all. An empty stomach will absorb the SN quicker, even if you do vomit on an empty stomach. And you will certainly vomit with a full one, and the effect of SN will not be that quick and effective.
I'm myself torn now by this question, regarding only alcohol. I'm considerably less ballsy when not under the influence. But somehow I'll have to manage to abstain for at least 24 hours. Alcohol alone causes my acid reflux to go rampant. Adding a ridiculous ammount of SN to the mixture would be explosive no doubt.

Get some benzodiazepines as recommended. Alcohol isn't a great idea.