What were your dreams?

[swanlake]

What were your dreams/aspirations? If you weren't plagued by ctb and were happy and had everything given to you, what would you have wanted to be?

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Honestly, I can't even remember anymore. I'm not sure I ever had any, because my mind was in such a way that it was always preoccupied dealing with other things which I was dealt (perceived to me to have to be dealt with).

 

[Zegers]

I would probably do something business related, travel and enjoy little things with family and friends. I don't have any of that and that's why i don't see the point of anything, not even healthy, which is the most basic thing.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I wanted to do music but didn't have the talent or ambition. Would've loved being on stage maybe as a touring musician-although probably would've come to hate all the travelling so doubt it would've worked for me anyway!

Other than that, living a regular life I would've studied History at uni and then gone on to work in a museum or be a historian or something.

 

[slushy]

I've never really had any. I suppose that's part of why I'm doing it

 

[Lone Wanderer]

Mhm. I would probably pursue culinary, have two kids, and be happily married. It's sad that I cannot have that future anymore. Perhaps another version of me can.

 

[Hell-On-Earth]

I just wanted to be really good in my field of work but turns out I'm not just bright enough. Ended up being obsessed with work throughout Uni and honestly that kinda destroyed me. Wish I just chilled out a bit more and didn't have such high expectations of myself. Even if I were the best at what I do it obviously wouldn't bring me happiness. Looking back I'm just shocked at how naive I was.

 

[Winterreise]

My dream was unrealistic. The ordeal of accomplushing it was sad. And when then deadline came, i was releaved.

No longer dreaming of a life i really didnt want.
To do things i never was be accustomed to do.

Chumps like me dont belong on any stage, spotlight.

What affliction it must be to think you are born to greatness. Only to be let down again and again.

 

[Un-]

Wanted to be a software engineer, and then eventually start my own company.. Like my mother. I wanted to accumulate a lot of money, and donate all of it.. Personally.. To areas that need it. And to forums like Sasu. And to the individual people in these forums, too. I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to (and I still want to) go to space, and die there while listening to all the material ever produced by Duster. I'm aware of how immature this all is, heh. That's why they'redreams.

 

[Darkover]

be a game dev i love programming software engineer that about sums it up on par with the creator of minecraft

 

[Euthanza]

If I have to choose one between luxurious world travel or Nembutal in my hand, I'll pick the later, both are still a dream

 

[Cunanan77]

I have no real dreams, I was happy being me but I developed schizophrenia in my late teens.
Now I'm very anxious and restless, all I wish for is peacefulness, I often dream about living in the woods with a dog.

I'm not self-sufficient though, I was raised very sheltered and I'm not smart enough to make this a reality.
I'm stuck in a town full of hate, toxicity and bad memories. I will need to last another year before I can move to another city.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't have any. I want nothing to do with living at all. All that I want is to cease to exist. The thought of permanent non existence is very comforting and it's certainly more preferable to any kind of life. Those who pass away are lucky.

 

[Preparingforpeace]

I had my dream. All of it. And I screwed it up.

 

[axl]

I would choose to be a psychologist, dedicate myself to scientific research

 

[western_heart]

I want a nice house in a good climate with a pretty view and streets I can bike on.

I want to be free from the demands of stressful work. (No or very limited on call, not tied down to being in an office 5 days a week)

I want to have the time and money to get more cosmetic procedures done and to truly get the best treatment for my physical illness

I want a luxury electric car and the time to travel whenever I want

I am smart enough but too neurodivergent (cptsd, likely autism) to actually make enough money to live the lifestyle I would like to. I keep getting myself into jobs that pay well but are too stressful for me to keep, and I am not developing the skills and connections that would let me take my career further. The jobs I've had, I can get by as a somewhat mediocre employee because being able to do a few things really well makes up for my shortcomings.

 

[Hurt]

Guess I never had a dream/goal. I never was determinated with my actions and I never knew where I would like to be in the future. Then things got fucked up and I ended up depressed/suicidal. Now I'm waiting to die or waiting the right time to attempt because this is hell everyday. No way I'm living like this.

 

[outrider567]

Realized all my dreams, just wish they lasted longer

 

[outatime_85]

After having violence visit me in ways that should have ended me, I thought since it is so easy for people to cause harm on a very large scale to each other, maybe I should learn to be a doctor and possibly specialize in trauma surgery.

Now I do not know.

There are too many strikes against me: I'm not smart enough, I have lived in solitude for too long, and my bedside manner is probably lacking.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Most recently just to find a community of people to live somewhere in nature

 

[whatevs]

I wanted to be a writer.

 

[Insomniac]

what would you have wanted to be?

a rich housewife and have my mansion in a quiet place like Switzerland mountains or New Zealand countryside.

 

[want2dienow]

wasnt a dream, was life support

 

[MountainMonkey]

I wanted to climb mountains all over the world. To live off the land. I wanted to be self sufficient and learn the craft of survival.

 

[km0990]

What's a dream lol

 

[la fin de tout]

Any of the standard milestones, a house, marriage, kids & family, a dog, all the romantic things you see on TV and things you see around you in other people. Now I'm staring down 40 beyond invalidated with so many things I don't need, and too late, now I despise myself so much it'll keep me from any of those dreams.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm actually lucky enough to be doing what I dreamt of (a creative job)... However, it's literally my life- the one thing that has been constant throughout and been a kind of therapy during some horrible childhood crap. I've been obsessed with it since then.

Trouble is, I'm honestly not good enough to be doing well enough at it (not financially anyway). I'm currently in the midst of a big project and because I'm so slow, I'll be working solidly till November but paid a huge amount less than the time and materials I will have put in.

In my heart, I know I won't be able to continue like this. Not physically (I'm exhausted) or financially. A shit job is looming once more and that I guess is one of the major reasons I just want out. It's pathetic but this is the only thing that gives me any kind of purpose (I'm mostly out of touch with friends and family). Without it, I just become lost and depressed.

 

[LunaNyx_]

It went from wanting to do music, to being in charge of my own cartoon show, to being a youtuber—

I wanted to get married. Or at least, find a love that'd help me leave my shitty ass country and see more of the world. I wanted to go to a college in the US, maybe Hendrix College.

All of it is just... So silly now. So, very. Very silly.

I turn 23 this month. One more birthday after that... And then I'm gone. As planned. None of those dreams will come true. A part of me is kind of sad.


But most of me, has come to accept it. Accept why they'll never happen, and why I was too goddamn silly to even dream them.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I think mine were quite simple, I just wanted to love and be loved, authentically. I'm lucky, I did experience that for a brief time.

 

[ryo the frog]

this post made me realize I don't really have any.