Discussion What ways do you manage to hide SS/your mental state from those close to you?

[ImmortalTaoist]

Basically just wondering on how others manage to go around hiding SS from their family, friends or whoever it may be without getting caught or seen being on here. And as far as that goes, do family/friends know your state of mind or how you are in that sense?

Also idk what to say I guess in my case despite my "good life" and shit nobody in my family suspects or even knows I have SN, am on this website or anything. I'm seen as the happy cheerful super laid back guy but in reality idk. I find myself doing little good, then I'm back here and I feel like I'm worthless and unneeded. Then I go back to normal and back and forth and idk. People I talked to on here either self banned or left and I'm lonely but whatever I'm the end nobody will remember be nor care nor check in on me or anything. Fuck this

 

[drnhng]

I'm in a similar situation as u, and tbh whenever I feel like other people are suspicious of my mental health I just force a smile no matter what bc tbh a smile is all most people need as a confirmation that you are okay.. to most of them, it's like doing a small security check: they don't WANT the reality of you suffering day to day, so a smile is all they need to invalidate that; i'm so used to smiling to people that when i see myself in the mirror i just instinctively smile haha

 

[justanotherstar]

Hiding SS is easy for me, I live alone and no one touches my stuff. When I visit my parents on a weekend and I'm checking SS though sometimes I worry people will magically know what I'm doing like people can read my mind but that's just paranoia for you. I feel guilty checking it when I'm around them but it's not always possible to pull myself away from the site.

I have been so depressed recently that I haven't done a good job of hiding my mental state, people know I'm 'not well' and my community mental health team knew I was having suicidal thoughts many weeks back (when I was in a place to ask for help) but no one knows I am here on SS or the amount of planning I have done and lengths I have gone to. I asked for help early because there was a last chance I would accept help, just before I lost all hope, I thought what's the harm in one last try to get better but honestly then you realise the system is fucked, there is no help and no hope and you dont want help anymore. So I'm frantically trying to ward off my mental health team now, I'm kind of like a text book case of someone about to successfully CTB. All the warning signs are there and I think people will look back and think shit we dropped the ball but for now people don't seriously think I will do it. But yeah I think hiding my mental state outwardly to people is much harder than covering my steps on the internet, that's the easy part. Sorry you're going through such a tough time OP

 

[Lost in a Dream]

The two ways that I hide it are the use of a VPN and I also use incognito mode from firefox, so when I close the browser, SS is deleted from the history. At the very least, it keeps family from knowing about it, even though it's highly unlikely that they would check for it anyway. I also keep the SN very well hidden as well, which isn't so hard.

The difficult part is hiding my actual mental state from other people, but somehow I am able to pull it off for the most part. Making a lot of jokes and faking smiles when necessary usually helps. Sometimes I can fool myself for a little bit, but the mask always slips eventually. I also have to limit how much time I spend around other people just in case that happens.

 

[MindFog]

Having less connections with other people kind of helps. I never really convey my emotions to other people, so they think i'm just quiet but normal. Having Aspergers kind of hindered me from doing so anyways. It only got hard when i started having panic attacks and such.

Oh i thought it was hiding your want to ctb, it's about the site after all. My bad.

I never really sign in using my phone, only on my laptop. And i only log on when no one's around. My parents arent really tech savy so they cant go more than guessing my password.

 

[Amumu]

I shut the fuck up, I remain single and lonely, I take painkillers for my head.

 

[demuic]

I have my own laptop and phone, it's not like anyone else ever looks at them. As for my mental state, I don't like talking it with my mom because she never understands anything in that area, but I guess she can tell when I'm feeling low. I vent to my best friend who understands being suicidal. I don't have anyone else (family who care/friends) to hide anything from.

 

[Isadeth]

I don't mention this site unless I'm talking to another member outside of it. If I'm on it and someone close to me is approaching I just switch my screen to candy crush or Facebook.

 

[Symbiote]

By not breaking routine. I get up, kiss the wife, get dressed for work, leave home in the morning, get to work, call the wife at lunch time, and so on. Day in and day out, one of those days will be the day I do one thing different, and by then it be too late for anyone to try and stop me from doing it.

 

[cytokinestorm]

I use DuckDuckGo to access the site and everything is wiped when I exit the site. I don't leave my phone lying around.

I go to bed when I can't talk to the others anymore. I just say I'm tired or have a headache.

 

[botanormal]

I don't really have to do anything to hide things, because every time I mention my feelings they're assumed to be a joke. Even if I said something like 'my anxiety makes my life miserable and I want to die', those close to me would just laugh it off. I guess talking about these things makes my family uncomfortable, and so they just pretend not to notice it. It's not so bad for me though, because it means I don't have to put any extra effort into hiding my feelings. If someone approaches me when I'm on this site, I just minimize the tabs on my computer, so I have it pretty easy in that regard.

 

[sadworld]

I don't really have to do anything to hide things, because every time I mention my feelings they're assumed to be a joke. Even if I said something like 'my anxiety makes my life miserable and I want to die', those close to me would just laugh it off. I guess talking about these things makes my family uncomfortable, and so they just pretend not to notice it. It's not so bad for me though, because it means I don't have to put any extra effort into hiding my feelings. If someone approaches me when I'm on this site, I just minimize the tabs on my computer, so I have it pretty easy in that regard.

I was just about to write the same post lol. Yeah it's the same for me

 

[WornOutLife]

My dad saw me surfing on this website and went mad when he read the words SANCTIONED SUICIDE lol. However, I explained to him that here suicide is just a topic and we talk about depression, life, philosophy and so on and support each other by providing as much advice as we can. After hearing these words, he finally relaxed and lets me be here. (he doesn't speak English so that's also an advantage. Imagine if he saw the resources section? haha)

About my mental state, there's nothing I can do. My parents know I'm suicidal because I was really close to CTB some months ago and now I'm a prisoner in their house who is monitored 24/7. However, I'm allowed to be alone little by little and I have hope that by next year, I'll live in my apartment alone again and have the time to plan my suicide properly once and for all (and log out from this simulation; die)

 

[Gnip]

No effort to hide whatever, since I'm on mental disability anyway. Whatever reinforces the perpetuation of my disability based income and health care helps keep me going until it's no longer enough, no matter what. I have been accused of playing the system, but that's pretty stupid given my lifelong history. I'm here to plan and clinch a reliable way out.

 

[Neowise]

People have always known me like that and I never talk about it.

I have almost never mentioned the words "depression" or "suicide", but the people closer to me all know I have no self esteem and struggle with my life. But I have always been like this so they see it as normal, almost like it's a part of my character. And I let them believe it by not talking about it.
I think I'm generally known as a funny person among my friends so they wouldn't expect it. They have no clue.

 

[newave3]

I tell everyone I'm suicidal.....my brother,my nephews,my neighbors,my doctors. I'll even tell strangers on the street if I feel like it. I don't give a damn anymore.

 

[AutoTap]

I don't hide it

 

[Spitfire]

I do not hide it. Although, the people I am around are respectful and understanding, non closed minded type of people.

 

[issyishere]

I used to hide it really well but a few days ago I had a breakdown and started crying in front of my family (the last time I cried was 10 years ago.) Now they're watching over me like a hawk and I feel trapped.

 

[EraseRewind]

I wear the mask of "I'm doing fine"

 

[Lilmeowssi]

I am just a very "happy" and "funny" person in general. I always laugh and make jokes when I am with others. I don't think anybody around me knows that I have suicidal thoughts and stuff and I like it that way.

 

[Kat!]

Password on my pc and phone that no one else knows, and as for my depression my parents basically brushed it off already lol.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

I don't have to, they don't give a shit, none care here either so it's easy when nobody cares about you!

 

[Rn110bg101]

I don't either, the site is on my favourites bar when I open my browser and at this point my whole family knows about my "issues". Good thing they just don't care.