Discussion What was your worst psych ward experience?

[Cin]

For me it was being strip searched at 14 whilst dealing with memories of being SA'd as a kid. Fingerprinted and treated like a criminal and having to stare at a wall 16 hours a day, the only place to look outside was a 2x1 barred window on the opposite side of the room where only the tops of trees were visible.

 

[Darkover]

well i seen someone get a chair thrown at them resulting in a massive black eye, someone else got their laptop robbed, some old bat lady was stealling our clothes from the washing room staff would have to go to her room everytime someones clothes went missing, lots of other shit in their too there not safe place to be in, it's called the nut house for a reason folks.

i remember being restrained by staff and forcely sent to the pad room with just a bed and toilet in they caused damage to my chest sternum and my foot was swollen, they injected me in the ass with something to make me fall asleep

 

[Jezzibell]

Being locked in a room with no clothes on or sheets or blankets. Another patient eating my puzzle pieces so I couldn't finish my puzzle. In the bathroom with like 20 baths, people sticking things up their lady parts praying loudly and praising god. Being made to walk around the courtyard in single file for 20 laps. It was a mental facility with a rape ward. It was very very very scary. I was there for I don't know how long.

 

[GoLD_75]

the ward was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I was a teenager at the time, so I was in the pediatric facility. I was there for over a month and every day th e most I got was a 10 minute-call home. Not bad, but between my mom, dad, and brother they would often fight to who would get to talk to me and therefore nothing was really said. I made a friend there, but she got discharged before me and I never got her name. We weren't allowed to know eachother beyond first-name basis. I watched people get sedated. No sharp edges, no pencils, no bras, no shoes besides the hospital socks, no pants with waistbands, I felt like a prisoner. The flurecsent lights never shutting off not even for sleep, and constant hospital noises. Vitals beeping. My arm bruising from the IV. Being watched by nurses during showering and using the restroom. I felt like a prisoner. Everyone I talked to writing notes of everything that I said and being interviewed multiple times a day by a million doctors, psychiatrists, Social workers, nutritionists. If I stayed there for another week I would've went insane. Going home everyone knew I was different from before. I cried the first time I heard silence again. If I ever CTB again, I'm gonna have to make DAMN sure it works because I am not going back.

 

[catastrophix]

When I go inpatient, I always go to the same unit. The unit I typically go to is for depression/anxiety related stuff, and I knew a lot of the staff on the unit so it was kinda comforting in a strange way. However, there was one time I was admitted to a different unit for people who had anger/aggression issues for literally no reason, because I did not have these issues. Had the usual strip search and the staff doing it made fun of my scars. The nurses didn't give me my medications on the first day. My meds have HORRIFIC withdrawal symptoms— I was throwing up, constantly panicking and hyperventilating, shaking like a leaf, etc. The staff were so fucking rude in the aggression unit. I have DID, and was heavily dissociating when a very rude staff member was on the phone with my mom, telling her she can't speak to me. She (staff member) kept waving and snapping in my face, not understanding I was dissociating. Another staff member on the first day I was on the unit called out my name and said I had a visitor, which made me feel super relieved, only for them to say they were joking. They then told me to calm down and "chill out" because I started crying. It was always so loud and bright and I just know that literally none of that would have happened if I were on the proper unit.

 

[reismisery]

For me it was being strip searched at 14 whilst dealing with memories of being SA'd as a kid. Fingerprinted and treated like a criminal and having to stare at a wall 16 hours a day, the only place to look outside was a 2x1 barred window on the opposite side of the room where only the tops of trees were visible.

i suppose mine may not be as traumatizing but i was having a terrible and painful breakdown in my room and was screaming because i was in immense physical pain as well, the staff ignored me and when i started banging on my door for any sort of help they accused me of being crazy and i felt as if i was some sort of animal. i've always been used to being neglected and ignored my whole life and that event sorta stuck with me i suppose.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I have had 2 maybe 3 experiences though in 4 different places I'll explain.... More just an overview then anything else.

1st After being the victim of crimes that I can prove very easily by the medical school in Poznan and receiving no help from the US government, Polish government, or anyone else I checked myself into the psych ward because I didn't want to CTB maybe it was SI I don't know. It's Poland and I am an American.... Mental health is already looked down on in Poland and being an American puts you as just the worst there. I was pretty out of it probably of whatever meds they had me on and because I was really really depressed like I truly just wanted to die. I think Polish psych wards for people who are suicidal could be best described as "if you didn't want to die before you will now". I don't speak Polish and the staff didn't speak much English of they did they didn't want to speak it which is pretty common in Poland. Polish people are in my opinion from my 4 years the laziest people I have ever met. No real medical help or anything. Just an initial interview and then discharge I was there 5 days? Only a few people there spoke English and I generally had no idea what was going on. All water was from a sink that had a heavy metallic taste from old pipes. While I can't say I was hungry as I had an extraordinary stomach from stress maybe the food outside of maybe 1 or 2 meals was just a few slices of stale bread with some butter and maybe if you were lucky a boiled egg. I wasn't hungry regardless but I could feel a difference in my strength fade over time. I don't know how people there survive. I imagine Brittany Griner had better food in Russia.... Also the smell of cigarette smoke was intense. I'm pretty sure my risk of lung cancer exponentially increased from my time there. All that said any country/medical system that will prey on foreigners to sacrifice them on the altar of their checkbook probably isn't going to give a shit about the mentally ill especially a foreigner.

2nd (3rd) Back in the US I walked to the hospital for the same reason roughly 6 months later after still getting no help and again just wanting to die every second of every day. I walked to the nearest hospital told them I wanted to CTB or hurt someone else. I was there for 2 days (?) then transferred to a different hospital where I was at for like 2 weeks. I didn't really have a bad experience but nothing ever helped. They did their jobs that's about what I can say. I did see what I have to imagine is an extremely racist nurse go nuts on a black (teen?) for praying/crying. They were varying levels of nice and the food was good. I was told while there I would be homeless. I was homeless for a few days until ->

-> 3rd(4th) IRTS program so a pseudo psych ward again did their jobs. Felt like a burden a lot especially if I needed something. Nothing helped. I was still very suicidal but I was pretty much just there because I had food to eat. That said they were pretty nice. I was there a couple weeks. Really not much to add. To be honest I am not sure if mental health facilities no how to deal with or care about suicidal patients.

All in all I have tried to go get help from medical professionals I can't say I was really helped. No desire to try again. If I want to CTB to that extent which I am frankly getting close to I won't be doing the same thing. I never really felt like more then a number or name on the list.