What was the first time you heard about suicide and how did you feel?

[Ariii]

My childhood was pretty decent (from what I was able to comprehend at the time), so I was always afraid of death. I think the first time I heard about suicide was sometime in elementary school, about suicide prevention. I can't remember anything about it, not even where I heard it, but being shocked that someone would want to die. It's funny in a sad and ironic way now.

 

[Darkover]

i was a kid watching tv and it was showing a bridge and someone was talking about how someone jump off it to kill themselves i thought to my self i would never kill my self because life was good to me back then but then life happened and now i never want to exist at all

 

[Ariii]

i was a kid watching tv and it was showing a bridge and someone was talking about how someone jump off it to kill themselves i thought to my self i would never kill my self because life was good to me back then but then life happened and now i never want to exist at all

I remember I used to daydream that God or sone higher-being (I'm not even religious lol) would bless me and my family with immortality. It's crazy how things can do a total 180

 

[TenThousandTrees]

The first time I can remember is when my cousin committed suicide around the time I was 7. I was sad and didn't fully get it but I think even then at some level I understood he was just trying to stop his pain.

 

[uglyugly]

I wanted to end my life before I understood what the word suicide meant. After witnessing a murder as a kid, I wanted to die. I thought I could harm myself the way the person I saw die was harmed and it would work. I tried and it did not work.

I think the first time I was exposed to suicide was seeing someone fall on their own sword in a movie. My brother and I laughed and thought it was funny, but we were very young (6 and 7, I think.) My mom was beyond pissed that we'd watched that show.

 

[lacrimosa]

In Catholic Church. When I was younger, I believed he killed himself to save humanity. Which, technically, he did.

I know this might piss some people off, but that's where my concept of suicide originated.

 

[-Link-]

My introduction to the concept was an actual suicide -- it was a classmate.

At the time, I was in a persistent daze for having a lot of my own ongoing (yet-to-be-identified or addressed) mental health problems, and I don't think I really registered the gravity of what happened... That they had died, of course, yes... But that it was at their own hands, I don't remember thinking much at all about that aspect.

I do recall how jarring it was to see how upset the school staff were -- just from a standpoint that, as a child, I always viewed teachers as these unflappable, got-it-all-together adults.

I don't remember thinking much at all about suicide as a concept until I started dealing with my own suicidal ideation.

 

[desolatefuture]

I was probably about 9 or 10 years old. I saw a suicide prevention poster in the local library and I was intrigued by the idea of ending my life even though I didn't understand how.

 

[SmallKoy]

I really have no idea but I think mine probably originally stemmed from stuff happening to me and my automatic mental response being "I'm gonna kill myself" especially because I grew up with alcoholics and anytime shit happened that would just be my auto response. Idk where I learned it tbh but I did grow up with internet so.