What was it like talking to your friends about wanting to ctb?

[Pᴜrple]

What was their reaction when you told them and did it help/harm your situation? Also how can you tell whether or not you should bring it up with a friend?

 

[dragonofenvy]

It was a negative reaction. I was told to not talk about such things because it "kills the mood." However, other friends were able to freely discuss such matters and were given sympathy. Guess it varies from person to person.

 

[3/4Dead]

Depends on the friend. I've got three. When the first realized I was serious we had a lengthy discussion about how much it would impact them (after I said that death happens, and they'd eventually learn to live without me), and every time I bring it up (uncommon) it's just another "I'd miss you, couldn't replace you." Second one just generally struggles to hold serious conversations, not with malicious intent, but they're even dodgy about discussion of my self harm, they gave the usual "I'd be sad" but it was pretty open and shut. My third friend though definitely put into perspective how it'd hit him, said it would destroy him (which i believe), but said "at the end of the day that's a choice you will, and have to, make all on your own."

You should bring it up if you want to get perspective or if you want them to be prepared. I figured the shock would ruin everyone around me more than just dying. Regardless, don't forget that once you say it you can't take it back; they'll know for good, and since I'll be around for a while it gives them the full picture.

 

[lita-lassi]

the people ive told i picked carefully and have all understood to some degree. there isnt much else even the most empathic/best friends or people can do other than tell you a) theyve been there, it sucks, they hope you can get through it and how can they help or b) hoping that telling you youre loved from a lot of different angles and how it would hurt them helps you reevaluate your reasons for wanting to ctb. most whove been there realize that stating what the impact would be isnt always the best but i honestly cant blame anyone, especially mental health professionals, for wanting people to have to reconcile with their reasons and the impact theyd have around them out loud. thinking how destroyed my dad would be and discussing that with someone was what stopped me from any serious attempts. it may not be the kick in the ass i need to do a lot better right off the bat but it certainly is motivation to make what i have left of this existence slightly more bearable in small ways here and there