Sounds like people tend to like you, but you are sensitive on the inside. Right on the nose imo.
Well, I meant out of the different dragon categories, gold fits the best for you. As for your suggestions:
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Monkey:
Sharpness of mind: check. Active and energetic: Probably a miss. Intelligent: check. All the stuff about being social: miss. Vain and condescending: check (no offense). Lack patience with anything that requires effort: x1000. Center of attention and puzzling: check.
Seems like a pretty good fit.
Snake:
Sensitive: check. Effective and adaptable: unknown. Smart: check. Cool and calm: probably.
"Move elegantly through the social sphere, armed with their wide range of interests and hobbies, which add to their intrigue and mystery. They're often artistic, which makes them taste-makers others look to for guidance.": I'm going to say check despite your statements that nothing interests you because that's you lying to yourself.
Mysterious and needing alone time: check. Emotionally detached, cold, and selfish, struggling to be vulnerable: X1000.
I was going to do dragon, too, but I say snake fits too well. Definitely more snake than monkey.