What Type of Suicidal Are You

[theshund]

Broken Joe. Im the archetypal 'had it all, lost it all' 50 yr old cautionary tale, but all the result of mental health struggles resulting from childhood trauma plus non conventional BPD (I don't get angry or over emotional, I withdraw, disengage and self sabotage). Wife and kids and extended family no longer want anything to do with me. No job, living in a squalid room that's all I can afford and will almost certainly lose that before long, four ctb attempts and zero hope. Planning to use tent/CO in spring when the weather improves here in the UK. Determined to leave this time.

 

[hybridtheory]

Does anyone know the statistics of ctb being endgame with having BPD? Is it inevitable for those suffering with it? Because I feel like it's truly my destiny.

 

[slowdance]

Other: I don't have BPD. I have CPTSD which is similar. My life is as good as it will ever be and I'm still depressed. It's all downhill from here. I need to get out ASAP before things get even worse.

 

[DivineSpark]

I envy other people, their problems are normal. My problems involve spiritual aspect. How many of you, are tormented by satan and his demons? People brand me as schizophrenic or crazy.

 

[GoSan1]

I am just like you...

I have been asking my self recently what am I looking forward to and nothing else other than the day I cease to exist on this planet..

Being non existent on this planet is the only thing that I am eagerly anticipating with enthusiasm...

I'm very sorry to hear that... I do have wishes, but they are not realistic and can't be fulfilled in this world, as it would require a new world or life... But I do get that, I lose the fear of dying day by day, which will help make things easier once I drink my SN or get my hands on a gun...

Either way, fuck this all.

 

[conflagration]

Recently diagnosed with quiet BPD

 

[Still here]

I'm very sorry to hear that... I do have wishes, but they are not realistic and can't be fulfilled in this world, as it would require a new world or life... But I do get that, I lose the fear of dying day by day, which will help make things easier once I drink my SN or get my hands on a gun...

Either way, fuck this all.

I hope one day the peace we are all looking for will be found....

By the way I am so glad I found out this site, this is where I've found people I can relate to, people like you..

 

[GoSan1]

I hope one day the peace we are all looking for will be found....

By the way I am so glad I found out this site, this is where I've found people I can relate to, people like you..

Indeed,

and welcome to SaSu, the sanctuary of the dead one might call it. Hope you find some comfort on here!

 

[Redacted24]

Broken Joe due to emotional abuse from my partner

 

[Still here]

Indeed,

and welcome to SaSu, the sanctuary of the dead one might call it. Hope you find some comfort on here!

Very comforting I used to visit the site as a guest.. Because when suicidal thoughts took a toll on me I thought may be someone cast a spell on me(this kind of thinking is common here in Africa) but after I found out that other humans on the other parts of the world face the same problem as I am facing, this somehow comforted me. At least by the time I will be on the face of the earth I will have people who can understand my plight and ones I can relate to..


Where are you from?? If you don't mind me asking...

 

[GoSan1]

Very comforting I used to visit the site as a guest.. Because when suicidal thoughts took a toll on me I thought may be someone cast a spell on me(this kind of thinking is common here in Africa) but after I found out that other humans on the other parts of the world face the same problem as I am facing, this somehow comforted me. At least by the time I will be on the face of the earth I will have people who can understand my plight and ones I can relate to..


Where are you from?? If you don't mind me asking...

I am from Germany ^^

The part of having people you can relate with is partly understandable, but also destroys me as well as it means that so many others are suffering and that life has failed not just a few...

 

[blood-orange]

Mostly BPD nightmare because i'm either dissociating and feel nothing or i have intense controllable anger. Makes it hard to feel like i have any control over my life.

 

[nogods4me]

Combination of Married to Misery mostly due to personal tragedy and God's Chew Toy, with Chronic Pain Hell on top.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Closest to G-d's Chew Toy, but I'd still say other.

I call it "Alive But Not Living." Breathing, eating, sleeping, it just feels like a monotonous video game. My life is fucking Cookie Clicker without the secret cult plotline. Or maybe it does have that plotline. But it destroying the world isn't as fun as it was in the game...

 

[inconstantprayer]

All of them, plus a whole lot more.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

Broken joe, ready to CTB as soon as possible.

I was God's chew toy for most of my life, but that wasn't enough to push me over the edge. I'm resilient and I can take some punches. What I can't take is having bipolar disorder and divorce destroy everything I care about in life practically overnight.

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

Something between Broken Joe and Chronic Health Hell. My problems started when I had it all and then lost in life but nowadays it's mixture of both when I made few other life-changing bad decision.

 

[RainyDaysGrapefruit]

Nah cuz these are so specific but right on the mark LOL. Definitely God's Chew Toy for me

 

[shadows_and_silence]

I'd say I'm a mix of god's chew toy and other things, i haven't felt much of an urge to be alive even in my happier days and even if i had the choice between complete happiness and bliss and death, i would so much rather choose death

that being said, getting abused and raped several times doesn't do a lot to help with suicidal urges, to say the least

 

[BorderlineQ]

Bpd nightmare here. No idea how to cope and went through dbt treatment. I can't accept or function

 

[WhenIBreathe]

Doomed from the start for me.

 

[Namelesa]

Honestly I can't put myself into any one of these categories with the exception of if I get diagnosed with BPD in the future as I somewhat suspect it and relate to other people with it and experience a lot of the symptoms of the disorder.

I first became suicidal from school and gender dysphoria but escaped it and got hrt which allow me to get mental better for a bit then I went into my first relationship which was also my first real friendship but that ended which broke me and the rest of life felt boring and empty without it. I did go into another relationship and while I was overjoyed in this one some times, it was too intense and unstable cus of both our mental problems and so was hard to cope with when I was in it and it has ended which has caused me to become worse again.

I just give myself the category of "solve one problem, only for another to appear and make things even worse"

 

[lemonlotl]

Doomed from the start.

I've been defective as a human since I was born: I'm aromantic & asexual (despite wanting a relationship, this is very much not a choice i wish i could feel those things), most of my family thinks I'm autistic, ostracized by peers very young. I just can't seem to connect with people or live a normal and fulfilling life, despite checking all the boxes (having a good career, went to a good university, financial stability etc) i can simulate being "successful" on superficial measures, but i'll never be a real person, i've been shut out from the majority of normal human experiences. I just cannot imagine having a /rest/ of my life feeling this isolated and defective much longer...

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I have major depressive disorder. Sometimes things trigger and sometimes no reason.

 

[JesiBel]

God's Chew Toy, like the sad and unfortunate clown in theatrical comedies.