Discussion What to do¿

[YandereMikuMistress]

I can't decide what ctb method I really want to go with,, I have everything I need for SN but even then I don't want to use the SN method, for one resone, it's not brutal enough,, my main option is a shotgun, because that fits,, I want a gruesome display of my death to accommodate these feelings I have, to make it,, more,, real,, but I know that's not really fair to others methods by saying that nor is it right, but I guess it's just how I feel about it,my problem now is, peaceful or frightful, yes there's that worry of some form of SI kicking in but that only makes sense now there is that other possibility depending on what headspace ones in, my "frightful" option could be "numb" there are many more emotional factors when it comes to my main ctb method,, that's what makes me contemplate, yet even when contemplating I still can't decide on another option other then a shotgun being the right way for me to go, but I'm sure you can understand the frustration with this perhaps, you now know why I want to go with a more brutal method then a peaceful but having the trouble to decide what you'll go through with, I've been looking into the charcoal method but even then I feel it's not enough and I don't know how to explain it.

 

[spring vainglory]

i know what you mean. im not planning on ctb currently, but i know if i do make up my mind to i want it to be on display. a way to take revenge on the world for being so cruel. everyone is so selfish, i want people to see how hard it is for some people to exist in this world. i havent done any research so i cant give any advice, but something like jumping off a building is my ideal way to ctb. it seems like it would be so freeing to feel like im flying right before i go. while possibly ruining the business for some capitalist.

i live in ny, there's this structure called the vessel that some rich person built that was some kind of 3d art piece and attraction. its a 16 story geometry made up of stairs that you used to be able to walk up. it got closed down because people kept jumping off. i wasnt suicidal while it was open, but i admire and envy the people who got to use the vessel to ctb. an act of defiance to this capitalistic life, right in broad daylight in front of tourists and the like who waste their time on admiring constructs of the wealthy and powerful that ruin this world.