What to do while waiting for ctb date?

[Rena rossy]

Even if it was worst before, setting a date made me feel calmer in some way. Even with this, I have a lot of thoughts in my head, regrets (not related to the ctb itself) , anxiety and so on. I used to distract myself a little with videos and music but they are not working anymore. I have lost insterest in a lot of things... I just would like some recomendations on what to do to at least stop the thoughts or distract myself until ctb. Any recommendation will be welcomed.

 

[Fragile]

what works for me right now are drugs, videogames, series and cooking when i feel like i have the energy.

they are great distractions and make the time go by very rapidly. benzos, pregabalin and weed help me forget and make the time go faster, cooking keeps me distracted and gives me some gratification when i learn a new recipe and it turns out... edible at the very least. then videogames and series keep my mind from wandering into negative thoughts and anxiety inducing memories.

i know that i'm dying by my own means and that this life wont get any better, but at least i'm trying to spend my last months doing the things that i used to be very passionate about.

 

[Lotus]

I have the same problem. I'm distracting myself with food, films/series and games. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to work for you anymore. Other than that I'm doing most of the practical stuff that needs to be handled related to my passing. That makes me occupied, and my family get less to do when the time has arrived. I'm also treating myself with spa treatments, and self medicating with benzos, to make the last moments of my life easier. I can't manage do anything else, even though it would be nice to have some last great experiences in life. What do you want? I'm isolating myself from friends and family (even though they're not many) because it's easier for me, but perhaps other can think of it as an distraction. I really don't know, and I relate to the way you're struggling.

 

[puppy9]

It's weird that a lot of alive people stuff I'm still afraid to do even though death is close. I prefer to be in the casket than giving an eulogy.

 

[Emily123]

I am trying to make my reasons for CTB more stronger . For example I am going to take a ct scan and send it for another surgeon . I really want to hear from him that the previous surgeon made a mess (it is obvious from outside but I want a professional to confirm it) and it is not fixable anymore or it costs a lot to fix it . I also talk more clearly in the meetings so they are going to fire me very soon . I am also trying to face more with descrimination and haressments .

 

[chris8000]

Try not to go insane.

 

[Rena rossy]

I have the same problem. I'm distracting myself with food, films/series and games. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to work for you anymore. Other than that I'm doing most of the practical stuff that needs to be handled related to my passing. That makes me occupied, and my family get less to do when the time has arrived. I'm also treating myself with spa treatments, and self medicating with benzos, to make the last moments of my life easier. I can't manage do anything else, even though it would be nice to have some last great experiences in life. What do you want? I'm isolating myself from friends and family (even though they're not many) because it's easier for me, but perhaps other can think of it as an distraction. I really don't know, and I relate to the way you're struggling.

I have been trying to isolate myself too, and I haven't really been enjoying being out with friends at all. Sometimes they try to include me in things because they have noticed that there has been a change, but it the same, I think some of them are already getting tired of it, they tell me to stop being so dramatic. I just laugh. I have been trying to spend more time with my family so at least they have good last memories. I have been eating too much or not eating anything in a day. But I may try with medication then.

Try not to go insane.

Definetly will try, if not I may make things faster and chnge my ctb date.

I am trying to make my reasons for CTB more stronger . For example I am going to take a ct scan and send it for another surgeon . I really want to hear from him that the previous surgeon made a mess (it is obvious from outside but I want a professional to confirm it) and it is not fixable anymore or it costs a lot to fix it . I also talk more clearly in the meetings so they are going to fire me very soon . I am also trying to face more with descrimination and haressments .

Actually, I think I can't make my reasons any stronger, but I hope you are able to fulfill everything as planned