Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,182
I am mad. I am angry. I am pissed off. And worst of all
I hate myself
I hate that I am moody
I hate that I am manipulative
I hate that I am angry
I hate that I am ugly
I hate that I am fat
I hate that I am stipid
I hate that I am retarded
I hate that I am an asshole
I hate when I lash out
I hate when I hurt others
I hate when I abuse others
I hate myself. I wish I was dead. I deserve to die. So much stress. So much pain. My family, my situation, and everything leaves me wanting to commit suicide
I wish I didn't have to feel suicide is the only escape to my problems. And whenever someone gives me advice I always flip out. Because I love being a victim. I love being pitied. Because it gives me power
this is my ugly side. And I would rather die and kill myself than show anyone what this side of me is like. It's ugly, nasty, smelly, and horrid
im irredeemable. I'm just like Kyo from fruits basket. Though he found Tohru (my PfP) to love him regardless, I doubt anyone would love me that way. I'm too hideous and even if someoene did love me, I would push them away
life is not an anime where the destined lover will wait for them regardless of how they treat them. If I push people away enough they will leave me forever. As they should.
in the real world my behaviors do not suffice. I will keep being this way and be alone and will either live miserable into old age or die by suicide.
I will never experience love because I have yet to face my traumas. All the sexual assaults. Abusive friends and family, and situations that leave me unable to trust the world and the people around me
I'm sorry to everyone I have hurt. I hope you can forgive me
I hate myself
I hate that I am moody
I hate that I am manipulative
I hate that I am angry
I hate that I am ugly
I hate that I am fat
I hate that I am stipid
I hate that I am retarded
I hate that I am an asshole
I hate when I lash out
I hate when I hurt others
I hate when I abuse others
I hate myself. I wish I was dead. I deserve to die. So much stress. So much pain. My family, my situation, and everything leaves me wanting to commit suicide
I wish I didn't have to feel suicide is the only escape to my problems. And whenever someone gives me advice I always flip out. Because I love being a victim. I love being pitied. Because it gives me power
this is my ugly side. And I would rather die and kill myself than show anyone what this side of me is like. It's ugly, nasty, smelly, and horrid
im irredeemable. I'm just like Kyo from fruits basket. Though he found Tohru (my PfP) to love him regardless, I doubt anyone would love me that way. I'm too hideous and even if someoene did love me, I would push them away
life is not an anime where the destined lover will wait for them regardless of how they treat them. If I push people away enough they will leave me forever. As they should.
in the real world my behaviors do not suffice. I will keep being this way and be alone and will either live miserable into old age or die by suicide.
I will never experience love because I have yet to face my traumas. All the sexual assaults. Abusive friends and family, and situations that leave me unable to trust the world and the people around me
I'm sorry to everyone I have hurt. I hope you can forgive me
