I'm tired
New Member
- Mar 22, 2023
- 2
Being honest it's probably my first and last post here. I don't know what I'm doing here, I just want someone to hear me out. I'm failing school, my relationship with my family is so bad I'm starting to realize they never actually loved me and my brother was right about them hating on me when I'm not looking, my friends won't talk to me unless it's me who says hi first, I have absolutely no skills in anything, I'm reaching out to strangers on internet because I have no one else, all in all my life is pathetic.
To be honest I'm embarrassed, It's my first time writing on a site like that but I can't stand this madness anymore, I don't know if someone's even gonna read this post but if you're reading it, thank you for your time. And I'm sorry for my English in advance, it's my second language.
I'll just say it, I hate my father. he's a piece of trash and I know it. but so many people keep telling me that I can't not contact my father just because we went into argument that it's driving me crazy. I know what he said to me, and it's because of him I have ocd. so what if he's my father? Should I really reconnect with him just because we're family? Besides my family, even one of my friends told me to grow tf up and that I can't ignore him. It's a long story of what had happened between us, and I'm pretty sure no one wants to really hear about this, but I'm just curious, should I reconnect with him just because we're family? I'm so desperately seeking for an answer to that it's driving me crazy. I can't even remember when was the last night I didn't cried myself to sleep because of that. I keep on having these thoughts, how bad of a daughter I am, how disappointed my family is with me. My heart aches so bad every time I'm thinking about it. I run away from all my problems but I'm too scared to die. I'm a coward who's able to run away but is too scared to take responsibility. Just what should I do?
To be honest I'm embarrassed, It's my first time writing on a site like that but I can't stand this madness anymore, I don't know if someone's even gonna read this post but if you're reading it, thank you for your time. And I'm sorry for my English in advance, it's my second language.
I'll just say it, I hate my father. he's a piece of trash and I know it. but so many people keep telling me that I can't not contact my father just because we went into argument that it's driving me crazy. I know what he said to me, and it's because of him I have ocd. so what if he's my father? Should I really reconnect with him just because we're family? Besides my family, even one of my friends told me to grow tf up and that I can't ignore him. It's a long story of what had happened between us, and I'm pretty sure no one wants to really hear about this, but I'm just curious, should I reconnect with him just because we're family? I'm so desperately seeking for an answer to that it's driving me crazy. I can't even remember when was the last night I didn't cried myself to sleep because of that. I keep on having these thoughts, how bad of a daughter I am, how disappointed my family is with me. My heart aches so bad every time I'm thinking about it. I run away from all my problems but I'm too scared to die. I'm a coward who's able to run away but is too scared to take responsibility. Just what should I do?