I'm sorry that you feel so bad. Unfortunately this site explicitly DOES NOT tell you to pursue any acts of any kind, and whoever tells you to do this or that either hasn't read the rules or purposefully ignores them. You also either missed that part when agreeing, or ignore it. This is a pro-choice space, not make-a-choice-for-me space. Researching methods is your job. Cutting is a very non-lethal method, unfortunately can have significant impairment or disability in non-lethal attempts. We're talking about 2% lethality. So it's not a ctb method, it's a cry for help method that is lethal in rare cases. I hope you will find help if that's what you actually want, but also I do respect your choice to ctb if that's your proper, adult choice. But don't treat this forum as a place that will just chose a method for you and handle you a manual. It doesn't work like that. Take care!