What should I consider when picking a date?

[Slate128]

Background: I'm 18/M, attending tertiary study Monday-Thursday. There is a small number of family and friends who I imagine will be affected some when I CTB, and I want to limit this as much as possible with the date I choose. I'd be happy to receive any feedback on this plan, as well as any other tips.

My first consideration was to do it on a Sunday. If it were Fri or Sat, it would be a downer on my friends' weekends and something to dread coming back to study on Mon. I'd like for them to get back to work and put it out of their minds, focus on something else etc. I wouldn't prefer weekdays either, because this might cause regret e.g. 'why didn't I do anything to stop him on Tue/Wed/Thu; I should have noticed' and so on. Doing it when they don't have a chance to stop me is a better idea, I feel.

With Sundays as the preferred day, it narrows down my options for the date itself. Obviously not this Sunday (Mothers' Day). I was thinking May 19 - it's far enough from any birthdays in my family that I can recall. May 26 is also good, but if I fuck up people will be keeping too close a watch and I'm unlikely to get the rope and car keys back by then. My own birthday is June 6, so June 2 and June 9 are a bit too close, I feel (not that I care, but it may be something that affects others). June 16 is the 'reserve' day, my second option if May 19 doesn't work.

Am I missing anything? Have I put too much/too little thought into this? Would love to hear your thoughts, and what went into picking your date.

 

[ArtVandelay]

I don't think the day of the week is going to matter much. Your friends will likely be sad about it for more than just a couple days, so ruining someone's weekend shouldn't be a deciding factor. And they will always wonder what they could have done to stop you, regardless of whether they saw you that day.

I will probably be doing it on my birthday. I don't know why but I like the idea of being born and dying on the same date. Being alive for exactly X amount of years sounds cool to me. Another benefit to this is that there will only be one date each year that reminds my family of me, as someone in another thread pointed out.

 

[Slate128]

Hmm yeah your point about the day of the week makes sense. I suppose the thinking behind it was they'd immediately start getting into the next week of work and would have to think about something else, which would get them through the short term.

The birthday one could either be a very good idea or a very bad one... like before, I tend to be more concerned about how they'd handle the immediate aftermath. That may be just a step too traumatic for me.

 

[Broken]

I don't think the day of the week is going to matter much. Your friends will likely be sad about it for more than just a couple days, so ruining someone's weekend shouldn't be a deciding factor. And they will always wonder what they could have done to stop you, regardless of whether they saw you that day.

I will probably be doing it on my birthday. I don't know why but I like the idea of being born and dying on the same date. Being alive for exactly X amount of years sounds cool to me. Another benefit to this is that there will only be one date each year that reminds my family of me, as someone in another thread pointed out.

I agree that it won't really matter what date with regards to people being upset. The only thing that should determine your date is if a certain date makes your chance of ctb more successful.

 

[TAW122]

You should consider whether the date has a significant meaning to you, such as a holiday, anniversary, milestone (birthdays, family's birthdays), and or other importance. It will vary between each individual. Also, then you must make sure that you are ready or feel right before going through as it will be the most important decision of your life (and possibly the final decision, if you succeed in ctb'ing).

 

[-Link-]

The day of the week is irrelevant. I'd also say that the particular date is irrelevant as well. Whenever it happens, regardless of the date, the people who love you and care about you are going to feel like they've been hit by a truck. There will be no avoiding this or softening of the blow.

What I've always considered is the anniversary. I figure not on or around anyone's birthdays, far enough away from Mother's Day and Father's Day, and some time in the spring or summer (because the darkness of winter is enough of a downer by itself). Probably also being mindful of holidays, especially family-oriented holidays.

Once a year every year, they are going to have to relive it. They will probably relive it every day for the rest of their lives, but the actual date will be the worst and hardest for them to endure. This is where the date will be of most importance, if you're considering the people you're leaving behind.

 

[Slate128]

The day of the week is irrelevant. I'd also say that the particular date is irrelevant as well. Whenever it happens, regardless of the date, the people who love you and care about you are going to feel like they've been hit by a truck. There will be no avoiding this or softening of the blow.

What I've always considered is the anniversary. I figure not on or around anyone's birthdays, far enough away from Mother's Day and Father's Day, and some time in the spring or summer (because the darkness of winter is enough of a downer by itself). Probably also being mindful of holidays, especially family-oriented holidays.

Once a year every year, they are going to have to relive it. They will probably relive it every day for the rest of their lives, but the actual date will be the worst and hardest for them to endure. This is where the date will be of most importance, if you're considering the people you're leaving behind.

That's the issue of the southern hemisphere - if I CTB in summer, it would be way too close to Christmas. ¯\(ツ)/¯