What should be on a suicide note to minimize pain of those left behind.

[MAIO]

While I am close to a nihilist, I believe human suffering matters, even though I believe I am not responsible for suffering my death causes by societal standards (Due to most of the pain being caused by stigmatism and society telling you to put your needs first in any other personal descion unless you have moral obligations like dependent children for instance) I want to prevent as much suffering and guilt as possible. Are there any well written guides or anything you would reccomend writting on a note or anything you thought was very good on a note.

 

[millefeui]

I think being direct, straight to the point helps. Explain your situation and your reasoning for killing yourself, and if any of the reasons might make someone that you care about worry that it was their fault, don't include it. After all, the note is for those staying behind, not for yourself, right? It doesn't matter if you are being 100% honest, as long as they suffer less. I think it is important to not let your words, your suicide note sound ambiguous. Everyone interprets stuff in different ways, and the more ambiguous the writing is, the easier it is for multiple random interpretations.

For example, I could mention my troubled relationship with my father in my suicide note (well, it is actually more of a suicide autobiography, but the point stands), but that might cause him to think he didn't do enough for me (he didn't, but I don't need to tell him that after my death), and maybe even blame himself for my death for the rest of his life. I don't want that, so I am not mentioning the issues with our terrible daughter-father relationship. Instead, I will mention the good things about it (after all, it wasn't completely terrible... only for the most part).

 

[MAIO]

I think being direct, straight to the point helps. Explain your situation and your reasoning for killing yourself, and if any of the reasons might make someone that you care about worry that it was their fault, don't include it. After all, the note is for those staying behind, not for yourself, right? It doesn't matter if you are being 100% honest, as long as they suffer less. I think it is important to not let your words, your suicide note sound ambiguous. Everyone interprets stuff in different ways, and the more ambiguous the writing is, the easier it is for multiple random interpretations.

For example, I could mention my troubled relationship with my father in my suicide note (well, it is actually more of a suicide autobiography, but the point stands), but that might cause him to think he didn't do enough for me (he didn't, but I don't need to tell him that after my death), and maybe even blame himself for my death for the rest of his life. I don't want that, so I am not mentioning the issues with our terrible daughter-father relationship. Instead, I will mention the good things about it (after all, it wasn't completely terrible... only for the most part).

A very well written note would minimize pain more than an scapegoat right? For instance If I made an incoherent rant leading them to believe I was temp insane for instance?

 

[El Topo]

A guide for writing suicide notes: https://archive.ashspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html

 

[millefeui]

A very well written note would minimize pain more than an scapegoat right? For instance If I made an incoherent rant leading them to believe I was temp insane for instance?

A "very well written" as long as you keep it cohesive, yes.

I think there isn't really a formula for writing a suicide note or letter. If there are ten people you want to read your note, there will be ten different interpretations. On top of what I said earlier, you can only write the best way you can, based on what you know from the people you are directing your note towards. Hope for the best.

 

[Aity4883]

I have a post about this.

 

[Chasing Sleep]

• I think it's important to affirm that you loved them despite leaving them behind.
• If you think someone might react to your death in anger, I think you have every right to justify yourself. You were desperate. That's a key word for me: desperate. Could there have been another way? Maybe. But the pain was just too much to bear at the time. Isn't it the same when you die of natural causes? You went through something too much to bear. Hopefully an angry loved one will understand in time.
• Make sure to assure them that you are at peace now, this way they won't reflect on the trauma of your final moments.

For me personally, I've kept my notes as short as possible. I guess I'm a believer that short is more effective. I'd want my final words to really stick with my loved ones and maybe bring them some comfort rather than haunt them.

 

[Kristicide]

I'm not leaving one. I don't want to give them the satisfaction and want them to be tortured about why I did it.

 

[ClaudeKersey]

An explanation and a way to help them cope; but don't ask me how for the latter.

 

[Lost Magic]

Basically along these lines but in your own wording: I wanted this. There is nothing anybody could have done. I love you all.

 

[WhiteDespair]

dear friends and family,

you did this

die in a fire

sincerely,
me

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I would prefer to keep a suicide note simple, with the purpose of giving those left behind some closure and will mean that they are not left with unanswered questions. I would say things like, this is what I wanted and now I am at peace, free from suffering.

 

[OldDrummer]

"It wasn't your fault. Nothing you could have done, nor anything you didn't do could have prevented my actions. Never, ever blame yourself for this. Just be happy that I'm not in pain anymore".