Discussion What phase of CTB are you currently in?

[Passersby]

This will be about the different phases of CTB. What phase are you currently in? I personally have veered in and out of these different phases for a long time. Sometimes stuck in one forever, only to move into another, then back again. I am sure everyone is quite familiar with them. Here are the options I have came up with. Look forward to hearing from you all!

1. Planning stage, actively suicidal

2. Actively suicidal and ready to go

3. Actively suicidal. Will CTB but don't have a date.

4. Passively suicidal. Will CTB probably sometime later in life.

5. Combination of active and passive suicidal ideation. Don't have a date.

6. Combination of active and passive suicidal ideation but will never actually be able to CTB.

 

[Celerity]

3-4

 

[WornOutLife]

4.
Certainly.

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

7. I've passed to the next stage of existence

This will be about the different phases of CTB. What phase are you currently in? I personally have veered in and out of these different phases for a long time. Sometimes stuck in one forever, only to move into another, then back again. I am sure everyone is quite familiar with them. Here are the options I have came up with. Look forward to hearing from you all!

1. Planning stage, actively suicidal

2. Actively suicidal and ready to go

3. Actively suicidal. Will CTB but don't have a date.

4. Passively suicidal. Will CTB probably sometime later in life.

5. Combination of active and passive suicidal ideation. Don't have a date.

6. Combination of active and passive suicidal ideation but will never actually be able to CTB.

I believe the farthest I got was purchasing a plane ticket, giving away all of my belongings, trying to overdose a few times back in 2020. The only thing that stopped me was my own cowardice and my mothers passing.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

3

 

[ready2go]

2

 

[Passersby]

7. I've passed to the next stage of existence

I believe the farthest I got was purchasing a plane ticket, giving away all of my belongings, trying to overdose a few times back in 2020. The only thing that stopped me was my own cowardice and my mothers passing.

Sounds like you've been right on the edge before like me. Suffering isn't easy. I hope this unknown stage 7 that you are in now is treating you better than the other ones. I like your avatar. I've seen that character before but not really familiar with her. Aiko Tanika?

 

[Tkmiz_Tsukumizu]

Sounds like you've been right on the edge before like me. Suffering isn't easy. I hope this unknown stage 7 that you are in now is treating you better than the other ones. I like your avatar. I've seen that character before but not really familiar with her. Aiko Tanika?

Thank you, yes she's from Goodnight punpun, also how are you feeling curently.

 

[Mohkinstsis_falls]

I fluctuate between 4-5 on the average day. i don't feel ready to go quite yet. I have yet to get my drivers license and I have a few other goals i want to reach before i go.

 

[Celerity]

I fluctuate between 4-5 on the average day. i don't feel ready to go quite yet. I have yet to get my drivers license and I have a few other goals i want to reach before i go.

Same. I got some shit I need to cross off my list. Mostly obligations. Yay, adulthood.

 

[Passersby]

Thank you, yes she's from Goodnight punpun, also how are you feeling curently.

Goodnight punpun! Great, I'll have to check that out. She seems really cool. I'm currently in 3 and 5.

 

[Jantje]

Actively pushing out people who care about me to make sure it won't anyone. I guess it's the planning in some regards but I haven't selected a date as it's a long term project :)

 

[insanedoomer]

4-5 !! !!

 

[Ame]

Currently I seem to be trapped between these two stages:

1. Planning stage, actively suicidal​

3. Actively suicidal. Will CTB but don't have a date.​

I don't have a set date, but I do have a non-negotiable deadline (28/09) and a suicide window that is coming up very soon (mid April~mid May). I still have to secure one of the "luxury" adjuncts and write up my notes, but I have long abandoned the idea of producing anything special before I die. Any romantic ideas that a younger me once had about an "artistic suicide" are dead. The reasonable self is entirely onboard with the plan and it is safe to say that any lingering doubts that I may have are solely based in emotion and SI.

 

[Rue89]

2
I have a date (don't want to say yet), and as long as I still have time alone that day and everything works out, I should be gone then.

 

[SadGirl]

3-4. I'm at the stage where I want ctb, but I'm afraid of what comes next, and for now I can't leave my mother here in this filthy world.

 

[it's_all_a_game]

3. I'm totally at peace with my decision.

 

[Amumu]

Team 3

 

[Passersby]

I fluctuate between 4-5 on the average day. i don't feel ready to go quite yet. I have yet to get my drivers license and I have a few other goals i want to reach before i go.

Well I can relate to the fluctuation. Been at this for a long time. I hope you reach those goals, get your drivers license and drive around and have some fun first!

Currently I seem to be trapped between these two stages:

1. Planning stage, actively suicidal​

3. Actively suicidal. Will CTB but don't have a date.​

I don't have a set date, but I do have a non-negotiable deadline (28/09) and a suicide window that is coming up very soon (mid April~mid May). I still have to secure one of the "luxury" adjuncts and write up my notes, but I have long abandoned the idea of producing anything special before I die. Any romantic ideas that a younger me once had about an "artistic suicide" are dead. The reasonable self is entirely onboard with the plan and it is safe to say that any lingering doubts that I may have are solely based in emotion and SI.

Yes I'm trapped in the stages also. Writing my notes and obituary made me feel better. I wish you the best.

2
I have a date (don't want to say yet), and as long as I still have time alone that day and everything works out, I should be gone then.

I tried setting a date but it didnt work for me. When the time came I realized I wasn't ready yet. Situations are unique. Dates can work though for some. Whatever your destiny may be I know it will work out. Its going to work out for us all in the end.

3-4. I'm at the stage where I want ctb, but I'm afraid of what comes next, and for now I can't leave my mother here in this filthy world.

The world can be filthy. Leaving family members makes it really hard. I have had to wrestle with this too. We are all afraid.

Thanks for all of your comments!!

 

[Canttakeitanymore]

I will do it as soon as i stay home alone for enough time

 

[Pen>Sword]

5. Combination of active and passive suicidal ideation. Don't have a date.

This. I will CTB when I fail nursing school. So far, I'm failing. It could happen anytime or any day from weeks to months--maybe this year.

 

[endlesstime]

Probably 5 as I am ready for it even if it doesn't go to plan,

 

[ReluctantSeeker]

Planning and research stage, with quiet, serious intent. Want to do it right the first time, combined with (probably like most on here) not seeing a clear path to victory just yet, so have to dig for information, learn how to use crypto and Tails, things like that.

 

[iglooblimp]

4, leaning towards 3.

 

[LastFlowers]

The phase of waiting, with nauseating anxiety..waiting for certain requests to be met so that I can proceed with some degree of certainty that humiliating parts of my miserable existence will not outlive the grave I wish to banish them to. Unfortunately the people who I made the requests of are being painfully asinine and stubborn, when what I ask I have every right to, and is simple enough that I would do it myself, if it were in my control.
Speaking of which, I am trying to do my part of the preparations in the meantime, but finding energy as a suicidal person is a fucking miraculous and rare occurrence.
I also need to get some type of sedative from a GP so I can complete my SN regimen.
It's times like these that I would kill for a giant red button to take care of all this shit for me, including death, because while I do wish I had a better chance at life, I am ready to turn over the hand I have been dealt and say "no more". I've had enough. I'm saying NO to this miserable excuse of a "life"!

 

[Choronzon]

I guess kind of 1 and 5. I made a will, which took weeks, but that is done. I've allayed people's fears by saying it's about COVID. I still need to take care of a "final wishes" document. I'd been thinking a lot about full or partial suspension, or perhaps the cargo-strap trick. But re-examining exit bag, I've regained confidence--and found a regulator that doesn't cost the earth. I only really need to get that, a bag & tubing, and of course the gas itself.

I'm kind of waiting to see if ketamine treatment does anything for me. Real tired of waiting, though.

 

[Bat 17]

I'll take 4.

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

5. It's inevitable in me. When is anyones guess. Everyday is too much but i keep doing another.
i have my means for when i need it so guess that makes it easier to jusy try another day for now.

 

[Carrotcake]

Mostly 5, sometimes 3.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Very hard to tell, I have the minimal amount of planning done for my shitty method (partial in the woods, carotid slashing as a back-up). There are many things that can go wrong with these fucktarded methods, especially when you try them out for the first time. Holding on for a better method later is insane in my case, though. I am suffering and I don't think I'll ever be able to move out from the basement and buy a shotgun / set up full suspension. Might be able to get a pull-up bar set up in my room, parents don't seem to mind it but it's a fucking pain in the ass like everything else. Then I'll just have to buy some cuffs and wait for an opportunity.


I'd say 3.5

2

Username checks out.