Help What method should I use?

[peonylove]

Hello, I'm an 18 y/o living with my parents. I "attempted" by hanging in the past (I didn't really know what I was doing so I'm not sure if it would count). I tried twice in my closet and once at the park. I wanted help so I spoke out about this and was sent to a run-down psych ward, given an unhelpful therapist, and prescribed meds that don't work for me. Because the system hasn't been of use to me and no one is listening to me wanting to change these circumstances, I've decided to properly CTB. Unfortunately, it's now a lot more difficult for me as I'm being closely watched. I now have to sleep in my parents's room as I told them I've been self-harming. I also have a fairly big family so I'm rarely ever alone in the house and my parents are really paranoid about me being out by myself so they track where I am on my phone.

What should I do? I can try other methods, but there aren't any tall buildings/cliffs where I live and I don't have my own money to buy SN. I live near a big forest so I could try there instead of the park, but how/when do I sneak out? I can try again in my closet and lock the doors but there's not a lot of room in there and I really don't want to traumatize my siblings if my parents bang on the door and yell at me, plus I have to find a moment alone anyway. But then again, if people can successfully hang themselves in psych wards shouldn't I be able to do so too despite my restrictions? I really don't know, I'm open to any suggestions. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask, thank you for reading.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like an awful situation to be trapped in, to me it sounds like it would be incredibly difficult, if not pretty much impossible to ctb in a situation like that where one has such limited time alone. And I think that attempting hanging could be risky if there are other people around, they could very easily interfere causing the attempt to fail. But anyway I hate how we exist in a world where we cannot just pass away in peace, sadly suicide just isn't straightforward as if it was I would be long gone at this point. I wish you the best.

 

[SilentSadness]

The people keeping you trapped in that situation sound nasty and horrid, I would never wish to be around those types of people. Sadly, it is very difficult to ctb in this world, and even if you are not under surveillance it is much harder than you would think. The fact that you made yourself vulnerable, and their only response was to treat you that way just shows you what kind of people pro-lifers are. I hope you are out of that awful situation soon.

 

[SpiderLink]

The people keeping you trapped in that situation sound nasty and horrid, I would never wish to be around those types of people. Sadly, it is very difficult to ctb in this world, and even if you are not under surveillance it is much harder than you would think. The fact that you made yourself vulnerable, and their only response was to treat you that way just shows you what kind of people pro-lifers are. I hope you are out of that awful situation soon.

But u have to understand that they want best for their kid. It doesn't mean they r nasty nor do they want u to die.