Y

You

Member
Nov 29, 2019
24
What is the thing that makes you want yo stay alive for another day? What do want to see?
 
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xBrialesana

xBrialesana

Become Dust With Me, My Love.
Dec 17, 2019
552
I try so hard. I've done the things. Honestly I'm hurting so bad right now that's all of the vocabulary I can expel but I hope you're night is ok :heart:
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,819
Partly SI (which goes without saying). But really, I have some things left to do and also right now isn't the right opening/opportunity for me to CTB. I am going to get stuff in order and sorted out first, before following through with it. In my heart and rational mind, I do know that CTB would be my ultimate freedom from all the injustices, unfairness, bullshit, and suffering from day to day life.
 
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S

S1mpleme

Mage
Dec 27, 2019
517
I hoped whole my life that I will meet someone and finally get family, but I lost that hope, nothing keeps me to want this life. I don't know, only if some miracle.
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

That's the hell I live with
Apr 19, 2018
658
I have very trivial events coming up which I want to see but I'm not sure if I'll make it.
I have a music festival called Download in June, and I'm supposed to be seeing Jimmy Carr in October.
It's only 9 months away, and I still don't see myself being alive for it, but I want to be at the same time.
 
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randomz

randomz

Specialist
Nov 4, 2019
395
Most of all SI and also the rare days in which I can distract myself from what a complete faiure I am.
 
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gentleflower

gentleflower

Student
Jun 6, 2019
105
Right now its graduation. Showing to myself I am stronger than this damn academic title
And my family. My mother bluntly told me that I should just kill her before I kill myself as it would be the same outcome to her
 
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B

BadRNG

Conflicted
Jan 11, 2020
58
Right now its graduation. Showing to myself I am stronger than this damn academic title
And my family. My mother bluntly told me that I should just kill her before I kill myself as it would be the same outcome to her
My mom also says she would kill herself right after I do, even tho I don't think she will , she's just scaring me away from suicide
 
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yetme

yetme

Arcanist
Oct 20, 2019
486
fear and hope
 
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gentleflower

gentleflower

Student
Jun 6, 2019
105
My mom also says she would kill herself right after I do, even tho I don't think she will , she's just scaring me away from suicide
I have gotten extremely scared by her saying that as well. I was convinced that she wouldn't care. I am not sure if she just said so to hold me off though. I hate how BDP makes me distrust everyone..
 
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B

BadRNG

Conflicted
Jan 11, 2020
58
What is the thing that makes you want yo stay alive for another day? What do want to see?
I have gotten extremely scared by her saying that as well. I was convinced that she wouldn't care. I am not sure if she just said so to hold me off though. I hate how BDP makes me distrust everyone..
oh no in my case she cares, she's a reason I am having second thoughts and not why I scared to suicide. She tried to help me but I am just a mess , I can't change reality and the thought of me living like this is scary...
 
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G

goomsoom

M - 30
Jan 17, 2020
173
oh no in my case she cares, she's a reason I am having second thoughts and not why I scared to suicide. She tried to help me but I am just a mess , I can't change reality and the thought of me living like this is scary...
this is exactly my reason, but I have to get over it.
 
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SnowWhite

SnowWhite

Semi-Professional Disappointment
Jan 16, 2020
150
My dad bluntly told me last week, "I couldn't live with myself if I ever felt like I failed you." My dad is the one person in my family that has done everything he could. He accepted me without even flinching when I opened up. He's gotten into shouting matches with my mum for being unsupportive. He's never missed a day of work because he can't afford to.

It may not be keeping me from CTB, but damn, I know I'll be thinking of him as I go.
 
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MsMaudlin

MsMaudlin

This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Dec 8, 2019
875
I still have things to do.

I have done the letters for my friends, just need to do the family ones.

I need to write down passwords, phone numbers etc.

I need to get some cash to put in the letters.

I need to list valuable things I have for family to sell.
 
Inferdan

Inferdan

Meeting the first minor relapse after recovery
Nov 3, 2019
450
My friends. Whenever I do something for them, I feel useful, like i have a purpose. That's slipping from me slowly, but I'm still fighting until it stops or takes me away.
 
HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
There are a couple of factors:

1.) My dog who I adore dearly. He has brought so much love, although he doesn't replace human touch.

2.) My happiness depends on others -- yet I can't have a positive relationship. My first relationship was abusive. My second relationship that ended in October was with a girl who I thought was the one, yet she suddenly dipped after finding someone. I'm really shattered growing up in an emotional abusive house. Some of that lingers on me still. I'm holding to find that person but I don't think it's going to happen. A lot of people don't really relate to mental health and find it really difficult.

3.) I'm afraid of SN failure.
 
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Inferdan

Inferdan

Meeting the first minor relapse after recovery
Nov 3, 2019
450
I hoped whole my life that I will meet someone and finally get family, but I lost that hope, nothing keeps me to want this life. I don't know, only if some miracle.
Something I always tell people is to be yourself. Let others see who you are, and those who will accept you will make that known. When with a person you like, I understand to hide certain things, but don't mold your personality into something else. Show them what you have to offer, and you will get there. Some people get it early, others late, but it is always nice when it happens.

Just something that I tell my friends who worry about the same thing, hope you find this useful too :)).
 
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Kneel

Kneel

Member
Jan 24, 2020
12
I guess at this point it's my pets, they're the only responsibility I have left.
My oldest buddy has been in a really bad shape lately and I just want to be there for them until the end. I will probably end up letting the younger ones go to someone who can provide them the life that they deserve, so that I can go in peace and without worries.
 
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R_N

R_N

-Memento Mori-
Dec 3, 2019
1,442
Just SI. I shouldn't be alive, it's torture.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,621
I don't want to live . Just haven't killed myself because of Fear. What I fear is the medical people "saving" me from my suicide attempt and leaving me in a brain damaged state but still alive.
 
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C

Cutepoison

Losing all hope was freedom
Dec 22, 2019
191
Fear of failing to ctb, so I'm doing all the research i can to ensure i don't get saved.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
What is the thing that makes you want yo stay alive for another day? What do want to see?
To see how many more people I can piss off before I go.
 
MrOptions

MrOptions

Let it go. This to shall pass.
Jan 6, 2020
178
Emotional and financial commitments to my family. That is the only thing keeping me here.
 
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B

BigBoiSlipKnot

New Member
Jan 27, 2020
1
Currently not much. Basically nandos and the lack of supplies to end it all.