what makes you not being able to part of any group

[RM5998]

I don't like being around people. They're often obliviously stupid. Case in point is this dumb jock type who says that the only reason I haven't found anything worth living for is because I haven't looked enough. The more I think about that statement the more things I find wrong with it. I'm supposed to work with this guy for 6 months now.

The problem is, I don't like being with myself either. There's a small set of people that I do like being around. Trouble is, just like with @blanketyblk, they don't like me.

I got an 86 on a test, and my mom found out the grade when she was driving the car. I was in the car with her. She started screaming at me and driving really fast. She said that if she crashed the car, it would be my fault. She said there was no use for either of us to continue living if I was going to grow up to be a garbage collector.

I'm Indian, and I've gotten threats like that as well. (The difference being that it was about selling vegetables.) Thing is, if your parents turn out to be right about you failing if you don't follow their advice (which is what has happened to me), you can't really justify what you did. It doesn't help that I've become dependent on my mom's approval and happiness to be happy. And I can't really cut her out or tell her any of this, because then I lose the chance that one day, she'll say something nice about me to make all this worthwhile. It's like Free Churro here... I'm waiting for that grand gesture that tells me all of this was worth it.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I don't like being around people. They're often obliviously stupid. Case in point is this dumb jock type who says that the only reason I haven't found anything worth living for is because I haven't looked enough. The more I think about that statement the more things I find wrong with it. I'm supposed to work with this guy for 6 months now.


I'm Indian, and I've gotten threats like that as well. (The difference being that it was about selling vegetables.) Thing is, if your parents turn out to be right about you failing if you don't follow their advice (which is what has happened to me), you can't really justify what you did. It doesn't help that I've become dependent on my mom's approval and happiness to be happy. And I can't really cut her out or tell her any of this, because then I lose the chance that one day, she'll say something nice about me to make all this worthwhile. It's like Free Churro here... I'm waiting for that grand gesture that tells me all of this was worth it.

Thing is most of the "advice" my parents gave me hasn't been conducive to surviving in the real world. Their only life advice was "Grind away for every test point you can for exams. You must get a 98 or higher on every exam or you will be beaten, yelled at, or both. You must live a life of social isolation, so we can watch over you and make sure you are studying. You don't need friends, as long as you have us. And God forbid we catch you talking to the opposite gender..."

Naturally, when I got into the real world, I had no idea how to interact with people in a functional way. And I'm sure most people here know that whether or not you survive in the real world isn't dependent on whether you got a 96 or a 98 on that one math test in 9th grade.

 

[serengeti]

In my situation, it's probably just about my looks. I would probably be able to find my self around a group of fellows if I could get out of the home and if someone approved me.

 

[Juggernaut]

I was never a social butterfly, I had close friends growing up and was part of a tight knit group throughout school but once I entered to world I felt a huge social detachment from most people.

I had friends that wanted to be part of my life, hang out, be social but they faded away because I had no interest in being social. I'm pretty self absorbed.

I can make a good impression and socialize with others but I'm faking it. I've had people tell me I could be popular if I wanted but it's like I'm a loner by choice. Its strange because there are times I wish I had friends but when I get them I don't want them anymore.

 

[throwaway123]

Society is sick. I do not wish to be part of a sick society.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

I used to have a few friends, but cut contact with them when i became a NEET in my early/mid-20s. Since then I've had absolutely no one to share my life with. (I work again now but never managed to make friends again.) There's like three or four family members I see once a year, but that's it. It's not really the same.

For a long time I did enjoy the isolation, but eventually it really got to me. I can't keep living like this, I don't like it at all. I do like people and I would love to have friends, but my life is a train wreck now and I'm embarrassed to get close to anyone again.

That's in fact the reason I have to kill myself.

 

[Sh00]

I never even managed to get close enough to a group to experience any gossip or drama. The highlights of my social life are small talk with co workers at lunch and occasional messages online.

 

[joshe]

My family didn't care about me as long as i was studying they let me rot in my room.

The real world doesn't care that I got As, only that I am too broken to work a real job and care about it.

Add people weird fascination with competition and workplace bullying and you have the recipe for a suicidal shut-in

 

[irrelevant_string]

I'm not sure, I guess I'm too boring and I don't think that I give people reasons to like me, mostly because I don't naturally fit in and I have no willpower to do so, so I spend time between lectures when I do attend them listening to audiobooks or reading rather than conversing with my fellow classmates.
So if some of them start behaving as if they do in fact like me, I cannot help but ask myself why that is so and my answer usually is that they benefit from me in some way, and I reject that out of self respect or something like that, thereby also avoiding the drama that often pertains to human relationships.

The way I see it, if you have to apply conscious effort to fit in with a group of people(which you may be encouraged to do if you are seen as someone who is both depressed and a loner since it's natural for people to connect the two and it's the easiest solution they can come up with), there are two things you can do: shut off parts of your personality that are not desired and fake the ones that are. I say to that - no thank you, I have dignity to preserve here.

 

[h0wd1rtygurlsST4Yc1n]

i some times wish people were there. but i feel like some one woulda cared about me by now. i never fit in with the cool kids and they are mad that im usually cooler than them. when working i try to keep to my self and make sure my work is good. i try to come off as mysterious i guess. often times you tell people about your life and because their life wasn't like that they use that as an excuse to be shitty to you. which sucks when you think you love some one or are opening up to them. humans are overrated. or the best is when you have friends that YOU introduce and all the sudden they start fucking and then talking shit behind your back about you. like i think im a good friend but maybe i am a terrible person. im at peace with that. that song always puts a smile on my face. you have to laugh about being that depressed some times......"no body loves me no body cares, and when i die there wont be no body there."

 

[sunny.sativa]

Never. Trust. Anyone.

Fuck ALL that, I don't do "friends" or whatever. They don't exist. They're there for your entertainment and you're there to lend them money when they need it. Friendship is bullshit.. in my own opinion and experience, of course.

I've had a lot of friends in the past. I know not everyone is a horrible, backstabbing, saucy little liar, but why risk it? It's not like I enjoy others' company, anyways. I really enjoy doing things alone and people are exhausting. I've grown to really love the fact that I'm alone in this world. Besides my three trusted family members, I don't have to answer to anyone, or do things because it's "right" and we're "buddies" and "that's what friends are for" (bullshit).

I just have very negative thoughts on the idea of companionship. No bueno.

 

[StillWaiting]

Inability to blend in like how everyone else do or don't have any specific talent for others to care enough about me.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

My extreme anxiety and inability to confront or start conversation with people. And the fact that no one else is like me... At all... Even in the slightest. I can't be the guy that starts something/confronts someone IRL. You do the thing, then I do/say the next thing. You lead, I follow, and hope to hell I don't fuck up my first impressions. I try to avoid as much social interactions as possible.

 

[Going Home]

Just need to write something, that's bothering me during my hole life. I never was part of a group. Never had this company of many friends going out. I had this time, but never felt secure or that this people are real friends. It always comes to the point when envy and gossip shows up. Or some girl in the company got a crush on me, without reason. It's not like i don't care for others, but i don't comment them behind their backs. And when this happens to me i really can't simply ignore and threat people at the same level. Do you feel the same when someone is telling lies behind your back?
I think i lost some "friends" lately. Many to be honest. I got the reasons, and it really hurts. Just need your opinion.
How is it possible for people not wanting you around simply because you got a new car(you don't give a fck about) or some crazy "btch"(you had no idea) got a crush on you? This happens to me every time, one by one.

They are jealous.