What makes you guys sure?

[toseeyousmile]

Nowadays I wake up and get through most of the day fearing the same things and every time I start and end the day I don't wish for there to be another. This is what makes me sure of my decision, at this point my life isn't even doomed, it's been doomed and everyday I was there isn't a tomorrow.

 

[potablewater784]

I'm sure because my life is shit and I know that I'm way too lazy to try to fix any of my problems.

 

[stoiccactus]

For me, it's like ... every day is a new experiment: Have things improved? Am I feeling better? I've done things to improve my situation, have they worked? More and more, I feel like the answers to those questions is a resounding: No. At some point, you just have to look at the evidence and be like, "why am I still trying anymore? what's the point?"

 

[ueo]

I'm sure because I wake up every day thinking about all of the things that could be different, but I'm so severely depressed and so severely myself that none of it could ever come true.

 

[chloramine]

I don't know that I'd call it a surety personally because it's not really something where I'm trying to carefully weigh everything. I just can't do it anymore. It's more like things collapsing on top of me as opposed to me choosing to make them collapse. Even if I for sure knew things would get better I just can't.

 

[Darkover]

i know its my time to go due to failing health mainly a brain injury wish i could go back in time and change direction but there's only one way forward and thats to leave this terrilbe lifetime behind

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Nowadays I wake up and get through most of the day fearing the same things and every time I start and end the day I don't wish for there to be another. This is what makes me sure of my decision, at this point my life isn't even doomed, it's been doomed and everyday I was there isn't a tomorrow.

If I would feel like you, I would be sure.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sure that ctb is the best thing for me, as I know that I could never want to live no matter what. Dying would prevent potentially decades of suffering. I do not see any point to living when instead, I could be peacefully not existing. I see non existence as being preferable to any kind of life. I have always felt certain about my decision only I wish that it is easier to actually leave this life behind. To me, the thought of dying and never having to experience anything ever again is very comforting. For me, peace cannot exist in this life, instead it will only exist in death.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

TL;DR = I'll get dementia if I reach 60+ years

I'm 28 years old, and since pre-adolescence I've been exposed to drugs that cause dementia (anti-cholinergic drugs). I still am. This is a huge risk factor.

I have other risk factors too: chronic sleep deprivation (insomnia), chronic social isolation, chronic feelings of loneliness, unemployement, insulin resistance, high refined sugar consumption, untreated ADD, untreated depression, lack of formal education etc...

I have so many risks factors for it, that it would be a surprise if I don't get dementia.

that's something that I will not allow to happen to me. I know the quality of life of people with dementia, Alzheimers etc, it's inhumane! they suffer tremendously day after day, and the death takes long to come amidst all that anguish, affliction, despair, depression and pain. I don't want that for me.

so now that I'm almost entering my 30s, even if I got ultra lucky and everything went well (got rich, a partner, serenity, satisfaction etc) I'd still have to CTB at some point.

 

[Huntfish34]

I'm not 100% sure of anything,. I just Believe that I could possibly do this fucked off world a favor if I was Gone. Only time will tell if I can gather the courage and strength to pull the damn trigger. Fml.

I wish you the best,. Take care.

 

[hellispink]

I am sure because everyday I look myself in the mirror I tell myself "you don't deserve to live this." I can't have any emotion anymore. I can't feel nothing and I am unable to smile. For me, knowing and feeling I am dead inside makes me secure of the decision I have come to. I deserve peace and I deserve some rest. This life has been exhausting but this year and the previous has definitely take a bigger toll on me.

 

[bubo]

My life has been completely ruined not only by the man who molested me every single day as a child but also by humanity itself. it's quite clear to me at this point i deserve to die, even if i don't everyday is the same anyways. Nothing will change tomorrow, even if i do die it's just the end of me as a system of memories. i've realized there is no value in life if you want it to end, those realizations have made it completely clear to me why i need to die.

 

[Siclop]

This life has been exhausting but this year and the previous has definitely take a bigger toll on me.

same here not sure way, but at some point at last year things started to get worse and worse and every day getting more

 

[barelys4ne]

I realized the overwhelming amount of things I need to fix or change alongside being in a very fragile traumatized state. Not only are the odds of a life where I believe I'd truly be content are slim to none but I'd also have to power through with unbearable mental turmoil to get even halfway there.

Every attempt I made throughout the years to make myself be stable or at the very least hopeful ended with usually a traumatizing situation putting me back into a crippling episode. Any time I would go back ready to take on the world I come with consequences from the episode, leading me back even more.

I have gotten substance addiction (currently crossfaded at work), obliterated my savings, lost "friends", bad health, and much more just to survive from myself to not ctb for the people that I love.

 

[hopelessandconfused]

Every day I wake up early, go to work and in less than an hour wish it was over, get home and maybe watch some TV and feel bored and completely empty. Then I think: "Is this what the rest of my life willl be like?" I know it is, and I can't take it.

 

[tilsleepcomes]

Been trying to fix what's broken for many years now, with no success. Things just progressively get worse and worse. My world is becoming smaller and smaller and more hopeless.

The long time and ongoing trend towards things getting worse makes me want to CTB.

 

[Hope:-)]

Everything...except the pain of ctb makes me unsure I'll actually do it :-/

 

[Shivali]

Nohing

 

[Passersby]

There is no way for me to be 100% sure but what I do know for sure is what I have wrong with me in this life and the ongoing cycle of suffering that I continue to put up with. This is certain and permanent because I suffer with it and live it everyday. It's bullshit and I'm tired of it! I know you guys are too. Things aren't able to be remedied.

I would assume you guys have also thought about old age and everything that comes with that plus the unknowns. It's coming knocking at our door regardless of what age we are. Everything is going to deteriorate further. It would have been best to have never existed. It all adds up. I don't care about existing anymore and want peace. I'm tired of putting it off.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Im sure because my past and present suck. My future has no hope. I have no family. "no" friends. I'm riddled with mental health problems. Constantly dealing with something every second. I typically end up crying over things that should make me happy. ANY topic can bring up a trauma(?)/abuse(?) story. I can't go to therapy. Medications are difficult. And while its not one of my reasons, I am in constant physical discomfort.
Living is nothing but a struggle. Breathing is a struggle. Brushing my teeth is a struggle. Brushing my hair is struggle (but this will hopefully soon be fixed with a haircut). I cry/get upset like 5 times a day.
No one can live like this.

 

[almaranthine]

This past month my mom transferred a sum of money to my bank account that she has been holding onto for years. Also, my grandmother passed away last year and left me an amount to my uncle, not trusting me with the funds (for good reason honestly). My uncle will not disclose the total but assured me I have enough to go back to college and finish my degree. I was unemployed and imagining that I would soon become homeless because I could not afford my apartment. Upon getting this money, which any normal person would be overjoyed to have, I realized that it didn't matter. It wasn't going to help me, because I have no drive left in me or will to live and work. This really showed me how far gone I am, and that it genuinely is over for me. I'm empty inside, and truthfully feel like that money is completely wasted on me.

 

[want2dienow]

My body, my right.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

Everything from the people I see and talk to, to the things I see happening in the world and around myself ( trauma, physical issues, mental issues) everything about this world is dumb

 

[Coffeebean77]

I hate myself and have constant feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and worthlessness. I take a mass quantity of medication that makes no difference at all.

My partner left me, my job is confusing and anxiety-provoking, my only friend is moving out of state and now my "social circle" consists of one person: my senior citizen mother. (Don't get me wrong, I love her but am saying I'm socially isolated.)

 

[slushy]

can't envision any way my life could possibly get better, but i know a lot of ways it will get worse. what's in my future? just working all day, every day, to come home to an empty house. if im lucky enough to ever get a house. ill never meet anyone ill never get a chance. even if i did people are awful and they would probably just take advantage of me. and there are a lot more horrible things that will probably happen. like global warming will get worse, recession will begin, the supreme court will keep destroying my rights and i live in a red state so im right fucked....just a lot of things...

ok so the next question is. what could possibly get better? what in my future could make me happy? and i cant think of a single good thing that could possibly happen to me.

maybe it's just in my head. i think the depression might run in the family. i come from a long line of unhappy people. i dont think im a happy person. like i dont think i even have the capacity for happiness

 

[Pedronte]

I don't see value in life anymore. Every day I have tons of obligations but no entertainment. People around me are shallow and egocentric.
The last time I talked with my family was three years ago. I have Asperger's Syndrome and no friends at all. I pressure myself too much in what I'm doing.

The truth is that I created an obsession with death, and it won't go away. I will go to the grave with it. Not that I care.