Momotoru

Momotoru

Member
Jul 3, 2023
11
When you are on the verge of impulsively cbt'ing, what things ground you and make you rethink? Mine would be my dog.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,434
My Dad- I feel like I have to stay for him.
 
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alonely

alonely

exists by being merely labeled
Jul 1, 2023
471
The only thing that distracts me from thoughts of ctb is physical pleasure. Physical pain would probably still work too, but I haven't self-harmed in a long time. Both are fleeting feelings, unfortunately.
 
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loyalskateboard

loyalskateboard

Specialist
May 4, 2023
339
My dog, music, video games, movies, drugs, and occasional moments of happiness with family/friends.
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,415
Nothing.
 
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emptyshell

emptyshell

Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
A few family members, notably my mum and sister.
 
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deadliftEnjoyer

deadliftEnjoyer

Member
Nov 9, 2022
44
Dogs, specially big, happy labs
 
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Tikialia

Tikialia

I became the person I swore I'd never become
May 7, 2023
65
Social media does the trick. I usually mass consume content on youtube to make the thoughts go away. Helps for a little bit!
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,366
In my case I'm always wishing for non-existence and always will do no matter what. Other people may see existence as something desirable but it could never be for me, it's just a process of slowly dying where only suffering is inevitable. But at least I'm usually able to sleep for some of my time here, existing would be much more unbearable if I couldn't sleep at all, as sleeping is the closest thing to not existing.
 
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W

winamp

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,358
pain, pleasure, nature, the mundane, and having a good sense of humor and never taking anything too seriously while also being aware and observant and realistic
 
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SpaceEngineer

SpaceEngineer

A Friend
Jun 29, 2023
18
Games, my friends, my amazing girlfriend and my chubby little pug Alfred.
 
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S

suicidalloser

Specialist
Jun 30, 2023
365
Ryan Jordan
 
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Salvation_

Salvation_

"Please, finish my story."
Nov 25, 2020
234
Fiction and nothing else
 
L

loopdaloop

-
Apr 16, 2023
323
reading about failed attempts (it grounds and makes me rethink, and not act on impulse)
 
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SuicidalOrganism

SuicidalOrganism

Experienced
May 31, 2023
223
Sleeping is so refreshing to me
 
A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
Sleep
Drugs
Social media
Comedy
Good company
Your most interesting hobbies
 
T

Tudor090307!

New Member
Jul 6, 2023
4
nothing
 
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RedHates

RedHates

Purple is a neut.
Jun 21, 2023
127
I have 1 friend. He means everything to me. Music and videogames help a lot too.
 
S

suicidalloser

Specialist
Jun 30, 2023
365
it was final kismet
keyword: was
 
Stormy Raine

Stormy Raine

Quietly counting down the days, hours, minutes..
Apr 7, 2023
372
When you are on the verge of impulsively cbt'ing, what things ground you and make you rethink? Mine would be my dog.
I'm scared I'll go to hell, it's not worth finding out if it's true. I spend everyday praying today will be my last, then I wake up sad and hold back the tears, then I remember, I can't live forever so it's almost over!
 
S

suicidalloser

Specialist
Jun 30, 2023
365
I'm scared I'll go to hell, it's not worth finding out if it's true. I spend everyday praying today will be my last, then I wake up sad and hold back the tears, then I remember, I can't live forever so it's almost over!
heaven is hell, already living in it.
 
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Stormy Raine

Stormy Raine

Quietly counting down the days, hours, minutes..
Apr 7, 2023
372
heaven is hell, already living in it.
I'm living in hell now too, I can't imagine living in an eternal hell, it's not worth the risk, it's almost over!
 
666razorblade

666razorblade

bleeding euphoria
Jul 7, 2023
27
My dog, for sure. Whenever I'm away she sits in my bedroom and waits for me to come home, and when I show up, she cries because she's happy to see me. She is the reason I'm here. It's all for her. No matter how bad it gets, I can't make her wait for me to come home forever.
 
Livingvsdying25

Livingvsdying25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,188
Food, cannabis, music, youtube or like anime or some kinda show. These don't always work for me though. Sometimes I'm just stuck in it.
 
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AloeGarten

AloeGarten

magicka
May 14, 2021
140
Drugs, specifically weed. Working out is also a good way to release pent up feelings but that's hard to do during a depression phase
 
L

lyfsoverrated

Member
May 22, 2023
46
Food and movies

It was my 14 year old black lab which passed away last year. They really are so much better than humans.

I don't owe it to anyone to keep living, is a helpful bit of relief.
 
5

52yoandmiserable

Member
Apr 19, 2023
50
What keeps me alive?

It used to be sex. But I haven't had an orgasm with my partner in several months now. I rarely even have one by myself anymore.

It used to be food. But now that I'm a diabetic all the food I like just makes me sicker without actually killing me.

It used to be the new friends I have made in my kinky group. But my current partner has made it quite clear that she is extremely jealous of the time and energy that I have been spending with them and not her.

So with no pleasurable things to look forward to and another probable 25 years of continuous suffering, what keeps me from killing myself?

Nothing but fear of punishment for "committing the unforgivable sin" and fear of hell or some other existence infinitely worse than this one.

It's a pretty shitty reason to force yourself to get out of bed and try to function in this entirely fucked up world. I am nothing but a disappointment to everyone, but especially myself.

My mirror isn't broken. I can't hide the truth from myself for long. Every day I have to face the fact that I am a fucking loser with no fucking courage. I can't live and I can't kill myself either.

So here I am, in some kind of limbo non-existence. Hoping and praying for some miracle painless quick death that in all reality doesn't fucking exist anyway.

Hoping and praying that one day, I will either work up the balls to face my fear or waiting for that last thing, the one more thing that will push me past the fear and make me kill myself.

What a pathetic, miserable fucking life!

I wish someone would put me out of my misery or give me that quick and painless release.
 

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