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kinderbueno

Waiting at the bus stop
Jun 22, 2024
37
What keeps you going? Is it a pet, friend, family member, hobby etc? I'm just interested in seeing how other people see life
 
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TheLastBoyOnEarth

Member
Jun 7, 2024
91
When I feel suicidal, usually when I'm in a heavy chronic pain episode, I sleep. Been sleeping a lot and it's kinda disorienting and not the best advice as life passes you by, but that's the only reason I'm still alive despite my depression and apathy caused by my chronic pain condition.
 
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ChronicPainExistent

ChronicPainExistent

One day at a time
Jan 3, 2024
48
In my case, it would be much easier to live than it would be to die — so it's somewhat a matter of practicality. Moreover, I care too much about the people in my life for death to ever feel acceptable to me, even if it ever became convenient.
 
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_AllCatsAreGrey_

_AllCatsAreGrey_

(they/he)
Mar 4, 2024
284
The biggest thing that keeps me going is my partner and the simple home life we've built together. We have an old cat that we enjoy caring for. Sometimes we joke, "She's so happy. At least we're doing something right." Building this little oasis in the cruel world helps us both manage.

In my darkest times I've felt resentful for this. I feel if I didn't have this relationship I would have ctb a long time ago. But, currently I'm feeling happy to have this little bit of joy for the time being.
 
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Final-push123

Final-push123

Internet wizard
Jan 28, 2020
90
That a good question

I guess it the fact that things ain't so bad for me....yet.

I plan to ride it out then check out when it not personally worth it to me.
 
BojackHorseman

BojackHorseman

The View From Halfway Down
Feb 8, 2023
126
1000007408
The biggest thing that keeps me going is my partner and the simple home life we've built together. We have an old cat that we enjoy caring for. Sometimes we joke, "She's so happy. At least we're doing something right." Building this little oasis in the cruel world helps us both manage.

In my darkest times I've felt resentful for this. I feel if I didn't have this relationship I would have ctb a long time ago. But, currently I'm feeling happy to have this little bit of joy for the time being.
I have struggled with the resentful feelings too. My husband is such a sweet and kind man, who strangely adores me. He would be devastated if I was gone. When I am at my lowest and feel actively, intensely suicidal and depressed I feel resentment towards him. At times he feels like a tether that keeps me shackeled to this world. I feel like such an evil person for saying that. Please dont misinterpret me, I do love and adore him. But I think he would be better off without me. After I lost my precious puppy in January, I couldnt help but think that if I hadnt gotten married to him I could be free now. Ellie was my reason for living, and with her having passed away, I would have been free to go with her if it wasnt for him. God that makes me sound fucking awful and ungrateful to say. He pushed me to adopt a deaf puppy a month after loosing Ellie. I was resentful of him and the puppy for several weeks. I actually stooped so low as to tell him I wanted to just foster the puppy until she found a new home. She is 6 months old now and I adore her, I no longer resent her or him for making me get her. But again, when I'm at my lowest, I see her as yet another tether he forced upon me to force me to stay here.
I sound like an ungrateful bitch, I know. And he would be devastated if he ever read these words, or any words Ive ever written here or in my journal. Its just hard when Im at my lowest to not feel resentful towards the things that guilt and keep me from ending it.
 
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DarknetAnon

DarknetAnon

Severely mentally disabled.
Jun 21, 2024
115
My parents and my 3 cats.
 

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