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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,874
I think this might be a controversy in this forum.

I think there are different scenarios. What does it mean to respect someone's reasons for suicide? When we think the problems of an individual might be solvable and the person just has not considered some options should we be quiet about that?
It is a very thin line I admit that. And sometimes the people cross that line by not being empathetic enough.
But the wish for suicde is often ambivalent. You recognize that in many stories. Sometimes the person does not really know what to do. It is important to listen to these people and talk about all the different options in my opinion.

But on the other hand I feel like I am not made for that. The pressure to make something wrong is too high for me. I would blame me maybe forever if I increased someone`s pain. This is why I often recommend to talk to a professional or other counselors before commtiting suicide. These people are trained for such situations.

It is difficult to tell someone there are options which were not considered without sounding judgemental. It is really a difficult thing to do. At least for me. I mean I barely know the individual. I only have information which were transmitted by the writings in this forum.
My personal approach to is to recommend to think ones actions through. It is rather a cautious approach. There are some actions one cannot reverse. I am always scared to get even more disabled. And if I had made some past suicide attempts I might could now not walk anymore.

Then there is the thought the person could regret his or her decision if it was only made for example out of impulse. I think some might consider this thought as too paternalistic. And for me the society and their approach to suicide is the problem. There are no open discussions about the right to die. In my country the vast majority of the people are in favor of liberal assisted suicide laws but the politicans want to block it by any means. (Or very very restrictive laws instead). It polarizes the discussion when one side has a pretty extreme stance and labels people who want to die as "insane" per se. I mean a therapist once literally told me he thinks people who ctb are insane. "You don't want to be one of the insane ones? Don't you?"

The psychiatry does not treat people with respect who seriously and longterm want to die. This is at least my experience. No doubt professionals and their medication have helped me a lot. But if I reach my limits and I can't go on like that they will leave me alone. The society abandons people like me. It is in my point of view shameful to force these people to die brutally. I mean suicide is not illegal but peaceful means are mostly made illegal. This shows me that there is no healthy and honest debate about that topic. It is very stigmatized. And it is kind of cyncial.

I would prefer that people who want to die could go to a counselor. Someone who really takes you serious. Not like my psychiatrist who told me when I asked for assisted suicide. "There is absolutely no debate about that". I would take the following compromise. I would accept restrictions for information of lethal means if in exchange for that there was this counselor. Of course this is a hypothetical scenario and had to be implemented worlview. With this counselor you can talk about your own values, beliefs, world view etc. The person had to be unbiased. The procedure had to be for free not the fucking jokes assisted sucide organization do today. I mean sorry I don't have several thousand of euros for applying for peaceful death. (I mean many people in severe pain cannot work. And I think if you are refused your money is gone.) In my point of view this is pretty cynical because it favors the rich. And life is already way too unfair. If someone really has the longterm wish to die and is serious about it the counselor would give the person access to N for free. Funded by the state.

I think people who are only impulsive about suicide should really think it through. Sometimes they might don't really want to die but see no other option out of sheer desperation and being overburdended by the whole acute tormenting pain.
For me personally this counselor idea would be pretty good. I know many here don't trust the state and those counselors whether they are really unbiased or open-minded. In my scenario I think about a way more enlightened society with a way more mature relation to life and death. There is for example a big difference when I compare the institutions of my country with the ones of let's say Switzerland and Belgium. But there is a long way to go for all countries.

I know maybe this whole idea sounds naive and idealistic but at least one can dream about utopia. I probably will never see such a world but maybe future generations.

What do you think about that?
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,571
To me, if someone wants to die no matter the situation that they are in, then their wishes should be respected and their decision should be accepted. Nobody else has any right to interfere in any way and suicide doesn't even need a reason in the first place. It's a human right. The last thing that suffering people need is to be invalidated. We all experience life differently and all have different limits as to what we can cope with. Things that are insignificant to one person might be enough to ruin the life of another.

Suicide could never be wrong in any way as being dead has no disadvantages. Someone cannot regret anything if they no longer exist. It would be much better if we lived in a world where peaceful methods were more easily accessible. Suicide shouldn't be so stigmatised as after all we will all die eventually so I see it as preferable to exit when the time is right for me, rather than it being out of my control.
 
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Wilting Daisy

Wilting Daisy

Loves Me, Loves Me Not
Aug 15, 2022
70
You sound as though you truly care about the well-being of others ❤️ I think this begs to ask: "How to tell if your suicidality is impulsive."
I personally struggle with chronic suicidal ideations, yet would still consider most of them to be impulsive, or rather, wanting an out of a situation.
When you have SI regularly, each time you may build upon those thoughts until a vague plan is formulated.
Next time you hit low, that once vague plan will pop into your mind and seem to solidify into something that's actionable.
If you feel stressed, fearful, and wanting anyone to reach out and show they care, this is a strong indicator of a cry for help compared to a need to die.
I have noticed that wanting a way out of a situation is far more common than someone who has been stripped of their animalistic instinct to survive.
Impulsive or conscious, both forms of suicidal ideations are equally lethal. I believe it's very human and empathetic to want to reach through and prevent any suicide, in hopes of providing that person a second chance that they have not yet had the opportunity to consider due to being unaware, lacking resources or direction.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,692
I also wonder whether assisted suicide will become more accepted as the world becomes more and more overpopulated, we all live longer, shy more away from religion and simply don't have the financial/social support to live reasonable lives. I agree though, that we're unlikely to see this in any of our lifetimes.

I do know what you mean about offering advice and I think I'm probably guilty of it too. Let's be honest- although we're all pro-choice- you've got to be pretty twisted to actually WANT someone to go ahead and kill themselves. I think we all hope that our fellow sufferers will find a way out of their situations but we also realise that this isn't always possible.

I think there's a difference between trying to come up with relevant suggestions rather than the usual positive platitudes- 'It will get better' etc. Still, I know what you mean. Advice can come across as annoying and dismissive of what the person is feeling. I hope I haven't pissed anyone off.

Actually, I've always wondered what a psychiatrist would say if I talked to them about ctb. I don't feel like I'm mad but maybe I am... It certainly would be refreshing to have a reasoned out talk with a 'proffessional.' I expect you're right- this is likely the way it would go- some form of assessment... Unless it's all computerised by then or AI- they'll likely just wipe us all out anyway!
 
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Poor Stargazer

Poor Stargazer

See You @ The Singularity
Mar 31, 2022
85
I get what it is like to identify with someone on this website. Us humans are such fragile creatures and when we meet on a ctb forum many of us lonely people finally find our tribe. It hurts to lose someone who we identify with. At the same time i realize it is selfish for me to think i can keep someone here who has been suffering, not saying thats anyone else's intention. I am mostly jealous or at least happy for the ones who have went to the other side, i admire their courage and fortitude to step into the unknown. It amazes me and i have no choice but to respect it. I wish i could hug you all and create a safe space for every human but i cannot. It hurts to lose someone from off of this site but its for what is best as we will all go one day, they just had the courage to chose their time.
 
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DunnoWhyButYeah

DunnoWhyButYeah

~*-*~
Apr 3, 2020
399
Well I have been in that situation and all I did was support him what ever he chose to do... I didn't say go for it but I never said he shouldn't do it, even I wanted to say it so badly, because he was so important to me and I was scared of losing him... I wanted to keep him here what was so selfish, that's why i didn't say it to him. I wanted that he isn't in pain anymore. I knew he needed to get out and find peace what he couldn't find here. It's not my business what someone wants to do, I'm not a person who can say to someone that don't do it. Usually people has tried everything before it.
 
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castler

castler

Enlightened
Jul 11, 2022
1,206
I can't help but wonder if we should be wary of jail time due to being an "accessory" to ones suicide if they carried out their plan. I mean it might be difficult to track an acct down, but Im not really sweating that.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,874
I can't help but wonder if we should be wary of jail time due to being an "accessory" to ones suicide if they carried out their plan. I mean it might be difficult to track an acct down, but Im not really sweating that.
I am scared about legal troubles too. I could imagine it depends on the country where you live.
I asked some laymen (in law) in my country whether suicide forums are legal. They explained to me I should not worry everything was legal. But I am not sure whether I should fully trust them. It is true though that the highest court ruled in favor of liberal assisted suicide laws.

I have some safety measures. I don't send to anyone sources where to obtain lethal means.
I don't post explicitly about methods how to kill oneself. I try to avoid such discussions in general.
Moreover I am really careful not to encourage another person to commit suicide. I think this is important. I try to be careful with my words because I know they can do damage. Everything that could be interpreted as encouragement of suicide should be avoided.

I think if people are scared about getting into legal trouble they should consider to think about those safety measures. Though I am just another layman and I honestly don't have much knowledge on law. Moreover most of you live in different countries.
I think people should be careful when posting here. There are probably laws I don't know about. But I think these could be some steps that might help you to avoid legal trouble. Still I am not an expert these are just some thoughts of mine. I cannot promise for anything.
 
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GentleJerk

GentleJerk

Carrot juice pimp.
Dec 14, 2021
1,372
I do both. I respect their wish, while always keeping the idea of healing, hope and recovery on the table.

That person will make their own decisions.

If there's a chance they can find another solution, that's always worth trying. If suicide is in the cards for them, then I will respect their wish.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
I think you make some valid points of interest. From my view, who am i to judge anyone on anything.? Seeing terminally ill people, dying hoping for death to be free from pain, who am I to judge that they are better off staying alive ?
 
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