Discussion What is the purpose of love ?

[Sad Paradise]

The purpose of love varies for each person. For me, it has only brought more traumas and a sense of failure, more than the ones I have already accumulated throughout life. The act of giving myself to someone has only heightened the feelings of emptiness and inferiority I experience with each passing day.

 

[TooConscious]

More often than not it ends up nothing more than a lie spun by shitty parents in hopes their children won't put them in the home they deserve.... Because usually mum and dad know the truth if they aren't already divorced they despise each other and usually he children for it too. So they know love is a temporary fairytale. One too many times a person forgets to open the window after a smelly poo and they go right down on that love list and the person thinks "gee, I can't wait till they're sick enough not remember the 'in sickness and in health' part.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I see no purpose for love . and it's something that to me is bad and I can ignore . I guess It's all how you subjectively look at something . even "wonderful life" in general I see as pure torture. non-existence is the only good to me

I can't believe people tell me i should re-think if I should ctb . do they know anything about me who they are talking to my utter distaste for my life and my existence. i will ctb and don't need anything in life .

The only thing i love is non-existence. They try to me convince that life is worth living that i need to get a gf, that i need to find love, and children. They don't know who they talk to. nobody can ever convince me not to ctb or become a normie to need other humans .

They think they can convince me that something matters. nothing matters I'm a nihilist what will matter in 200 years? nothing.

nothing will ever stop me from suicide

 

[Lookoutbelow]

For me love, or the loss of it, is why I am here.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

The purpose of love varies for each person. For me, it has only brought more traumas and a sense of failure, more than the ones I have already accumulated throughout life. The act of giving myself to someone has only heightened the feelings of emptiness and inferiority I experience with each passing day.

I don't even know what "love" is supposed to be. A warm fuzzy feeling you get around people? A desire to be close to them?

I'm not sure.

Nobody has ever loved me. I don't think I've ever loved anyone either.

 

[Sad Paradise]

If you want the biological reason, humans survived by being a species that lived in groups. Humans have an innate want to be around others. Love is what we call that bond, whether it's familial, platonic, or romantic.

Perhaps love was not enough, because despite being connected, you lacked the healthiness in that connection. Perhaps there was not enough maturity in both parties, or stressors affected the willingness to maintain it.

I loved my suicide partner, but it was not enough for him to stay. He had other things affecting him and making him suffer. Love was not enough to stop him. I find that to be the case for many ctbs. There are people that love said person in question, but it doesn't beat their personal issues.

In my case, even with all my internal and personal problems that she knew I was going through, she chose to leave, it was not lack of love, sometimes I gave more than I should, sometimes I welcomed more than I should and on the contrary THERE WAS ALWAYS LOVE, today I see that it was only from one part … mine !, today I see that she was just tired of dealing with my personal problems, but I think that's wrong, because I always welcomed her with all her flaws, and put flaws in that ! She was crazy and insane and I embraced all that, when it was my turn, she left …, maybe she didn't love me enough to welcome me at the time I needed and that hurts … trusting someone, it's sad …

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I don't even know what "love" is supposed to be. A warm fuzzy feeling you get around people? A desire to be close to them?

I'm not sure.

Nobody has ever loved me. I don't think I've ever loved anyone either.

Then count yourself lucky. It only leads to extreme heartache. Loneliness is way better then lost love.

 

[hi-okbye]

i belive love can be great if it's good. but usually all highs have a down.

 

[Vesiira]

The purpose of love varies for each person. For me, it has only brought more traumas and a sense of failure, more than the ones I have already accumulated throughout life. The act of giving myself to someone has only heightened the feelings of emptiness and inferiority I experience with each passing day.

I understand, it does vary. It's always been a conflicting feeling for me. It comes to you and you don't want it to go away, but you don't really want to feel it either. It's a vulnerable and scary emotion. I'm sorry it's only brought you more trauma. Love is hard and complicated and just sucks sometimes. Especially romantic love. I hope it gets better to feel for you. <3

 

[Sad Paradise]

Then count yourself lucky. It only leads to extreme heartache. Loneliness is way better then lost love.

It's even more painful for you to place trust in a person who didn't deserve it, a person to whom you told your most intimate personal and mental details, thinking you were being understood, that fucks anyone's head even more...

 

[bigfishlittlefish]

Honestly, I have no idea any more. I've given mine to the absolute limit of my capacity and still, all it bought me was for the person who'd told me I was their soul mate for 6 years dumping me by email (genuinely out of nowhere, even my best friend can't understand what happened), three weeks before we were meant to move in together. And also telling me I didn't deserve better than being dumped by email. Even though they'd broken my heart twice before and I still trusted them after that.

As far as I can figure it, love brings literally nothing but disappointment at best, and utterly devastating pain at worst.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Honestly, I have no idea any more. I've given mine to the absolute limit of my capacity and still, all it bought me was for the person who'd told me I was their soul mate for 6 years dumping me by email (genuinely out of nowhere, even my best friend can't understand what happened), three weeks before we were meant to move in together. And also telling me I didn't deserve better than being dumped by email. Even though they'd broken my heart twice before and I still trusted them after that.

As far as I can figure it, love brings literally nothing but disappointment at best, and utterly devastating pain at worst.

Correct

 

[loser098]

It's simply a reminder that you're never good enough; at least that's been my experience.

It's a meeting of desires, where they say things they don't mean and make promises they can't deliver on.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been loved by anyone. I have loved, but that love was never reciprocated in intensity, or it was merely lust disguised as something else, but I take what I can get, and I hope that eventually they'll be as obsessed with me as I with them. Never the case.

I don't have the wealth, status, looks, height, or charm for a relationship. It's time I quit deluding myself, thinking someone will embrace my shortcomings.

 

[bigfishlittlefish]

Correct

The same applies to "hope". Totally pointless, stupid, dangerously bad idea.

 

[thefinalcut]

It's an illusion... an enjoyable one for sure, but one that leaves you worse off once it falls. Those I thought I knew, I didn't know at all. I was just a convenience and a good fuck until they got bored.

 

[UnemployedMD]

Love is an illusion. A biological one that encourages human beings to reproduce in typically a competitive way. A mechanism that allows life to continue. People are more likely to prioritize having sex and bearing offspring if they feel a strong emotional drive to do so. This drive is what most naive people refer to as love.

By conventional definitions at least in a romantic sense, I do not believe there is any such thing as love.

 

[lunchbox]

I think a lot of people here have been the victims of a love mismanaged, which is unfortunately very common. Love often starts out with the best intentions, and can be a catalyst for growth and fulfilment, but it isn't indefinite. Given our nature and how things are structured it invariably wanes.

For me I have been the perpetrator of such mismanagement, which has left me feeling very hollow and guilty. I was the only one responsible for reciprocating it, but I just became apathetic and indifferent and I fell out of love. How could I hurt him like this, and if it made me feel so awful why couldn't I love him anymore? It was beyond terrifying. I let him down as best I could, and we're still friends, but the guilt I feel is dire. Love only seems to give way to shitty emotions (or lack thereof) over time.

The idyllic pure form of love seems unattainable, and I don't think it's worth pursuing anymore for me personally. Everyone else is allowed to enjoy love and use it for whatever purpose they want. I just can't do it anymore.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

The same applies to "hope". Totally pointless, stupid, dangerously bad idea.

You have life figured out. Love and hope suck. Took me years to figure this out. Now that I have I am going to kill myself.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

"Its better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"is utter nonsense. Love is mostly terrible. Makes you vulnerable. Is basically just pain. And rarely ever returned. And dont get me started on "limerance" thats not what I'm fucking talking about. Real love is self sacrifice. And if you're lucky enough for it to be mutual it will end for one of you before it does for the other. I always wanted to know true, real love. But for some reason people build it up into something its not. But if youre lucky enough for it to be truly reciprocated, see that shit out until it ends. Ride or die. Show your good and bad side. The purpose of love? Probably pro-creation? But nah. I think its just a material reality parlor trick to get us tied to this plane. To get us invested. To get out of bed. To play "the game". Oh well. Maybe its worth it. Otherwise what else is the fucking point?

 

[Sad Paradise]

I think a lot of people here have been the victims of a love mismanaged, which is unfortunately very common. Love often starts out with the best intentions, and can be a catalyst for growth and fulfilment, but it isn't indefinite. Given our nature and how things are structured it invariably wanes.

For me I have been the perpetrator of such mismanagement, which has left me feeling very hollow and guilty. I was the only one responsible for reciprocating it, but I just became apathetic and indifferent and I fell out of love. How could I hurt him like this, and if it made me feel so awful why couldn't I love him anymore? It was beyond terrifying. I let him down as best I could, and we're still friends, but the guilt I feel is dire. Love only seems to give way to shitty emotions (or lack thereof) over time.

The idyllic pure form of love seems unattainable, and I don't think it's worth pursuing anymore for me personally. Everyone else is allowed to enjoy love and use it for whatever purpose they want. I just can't do it anymore.

Love is painful; the fact that you surrender completely to another person is too surreal. Yet, we do it, often without realizing, driven by "sexual energy."

It's a shame I only discovered this after so many years. In my case, it went beyond sexual energy; for her, it was just about "good sex and fun."

Amidst these moments, I built a safe harbor in this for years, thinking it was reciprocated. But today, I see the truth.

No matter how much you love and prove to the person, there will always be someone to replace you and fulfill their needs better. Today, I can't love; I see it as entirely irrelevant and senseless.

We try to maintain a friendship, but I simply can't accept how things ended, and for her, everything is fine. She sees it in a completely calm way! To her, it sounds like "I was with you for so many years, you embraced my problems, but now that it's time to embrace yours, I'm leaving."

This prevents us from having a friendship; I can't help but hate her and feel empty..

 

[figurehead]

The purpose of love varies for each person. For me, it has only brought more traumas and a sense of failure, more than the ones I have already accumulated throughout life. The act of giving myself to someone has only heightened the feelings of emptiness and inferiority I experience with each passing day.

Love has kept alive (in its good and bad sense). I had my first breakdown when I was 18. Had some lame attempts, but mostly I felt too close to those who loved me to be able to perform such an act. Fast forward when I was 27 I met my husband. Before him I had hopelessly in love to a (perfect") I could never have but never really got over. THat's the enticing fullness and emptiness of love I've read some examples here. Your love is empty, because it is impossible.

Then, back to my then boyfriend, I tried to push him away every possible way. But he insisted. That was a time I was off my head with bipolar with every kind of delusion and so on. I refused to be hospitalised cos, after 2 times at a NHS hospital, I didn't want to hear about. Was it then love that kept me alive, a love I fought against every day? Today we're married and have one daughter - she's 14 and has just got over cancer. I never thought it was true but the love of a mother to a kid and vice-versa is something else altogether. Yes, I do sometimes regret having had her father and her, I want to free myself from love. It's been 23 years since we've been together and - or rather guilt?- has made it difficult to CTB. It's like when I lived with my mum, they're too close.

 

[F@#$]

Love is a lie.

 

[asian.neet]

Love ig depends on the person

I think on a human race scale, I guess love leads to more children in straight relationships to advance the human race I feel like

Definitions vary but I feel like on a species wide scale it's kinda leading to pro-natalist propaganda and spread of their ideas

Individually it's up to us I guess. My definition of love is someone who cares about me and I can relate to a lot or at least want to learn more about that person in a relationship, what I've gathered so far from my own experiences. I got a lot to learn, but at the same time what I am primarily attracted to doesn't exist... so... I feel kinda lost here. Gender wise, I am gay, but I don't feel attraction to our species. It's weird but depending on how my life goes i could either find a human male and fall in love or not find anyone at all....

But rn I'm too much of a mess anyway. Maybe I'll have better chances when I reincarnate as a different species on a different planet. Rn I know I should improve my mental health, but considering what happened I basically gave up lol.

 

[divinemistress87]

Romantic love is just hormones and neurotransmitters made to get you to procreate

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Love is an illusion. A biological one that encourages human beings to reproduce in typically a competitive way. A mechanism that allows life to continue. People are more likely to prioritize having sex and bearing offspring if they feel a strong emotional drive to do so. This drive is what most naive people refer to as love.

By conventional definitions at least in a romantic sense, I do not believe there is any such thing as love.

I feel like you are kind of mixing up love and lust. Both feelings can occur separately from one another and are the result of different neural processes, at least from the little I know about this subject. Funnily enough, romantic love is the byproduct of maternal love, meaning that the neurobiological basis of it seems to likely stem from the neurological and hormonal processes originally involved in bonding between infants and mothers.

Romantic love/pair-bonding would probably have evolved due to it being a major advantage when raising offspring rather than it specifically being evolved to promote us having more offspring (which I feel like would apply more to lust). Having two people work together to raise you is probably more advantageous compared to relying on one person.

Love is about as much of an illusion as any other emotion, tbh. I don't get why people act as though saying things "love is an illusion" and referring to other people as being "naive" for desiring it makes them smart. People naturally desire emotional connection and it is important to note that many desire being in a relationship partly because of the pressure placed on them to be in one by others, whether it be directly or indirectly.