Emptiness for me too. An absence of feeling, or of knowing what to feel.
Happiness has always been a brief, elevated state for me and not at all normal. When my happiness goes, I return to emptiness. Emptiness feels like my normal state. Then my mind starts its churning searching and questioning, and I fill my emptiness with self-doubt and bleakness. The thought process itself causes anxiety. I wish it would stop. I think sometimes it would be better to live 24/7 on drugs, just to avoid being my version of normal.