What is the biggest issue/stumbling block you are dealing with?

[mango-meridian]

What is the biggest issue/stumbling block you are dealing with on your road to recovery?

I thought it would be interesting to get a sample.

 

[Leiot]

Pain. I have chronic pain and it pulls my mood down all the time.

 

[KillingPain267]

My stumbling block is that no anxiolytic and antidepressive medication seems to work, except for addictive crap like opioids and benzos which my doctor obviously doesn't want to prescribe.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

PTSD, chronic pain, none of the drugs prescribed to me help anything for some reason and I can't get drug-free treatments (except of course the ones I can do myself). I've been told straight up that I can't be helped so... However, I'm here and I try my best to stay and enjoy life.

 

[LifeQuitter]

I think life itself is the problem.

 

[We Are Angels]

No friends, no family, no partner, no hope. Living paychack tho paycheck in low quality housing. Nothing to look forward to. My life has sucked since I was 7. I am in my mid 20s now and it never got better despite best effort. Why wait til my 80s if nothing improves?

 

[JoysoftheEmptiness]

Thing hurting me so much is my friend (ex-girlfriend, we remained good friends) Emma passing away, over 4 weeks ago, her funeral is this Tuesday, I miss her so much, visited her twice at the funeral home, held her hand, and last friday, I kissed her forehead, held her hand, and told her I still loved her. I'm really struggling with all this. The other crap in my life is my BPD, chronic pain (spondylosis), and other health issues.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

Extreme Loneliness/attachment issues. I cannot handle loss or people leaving me well. I just wait for it and then unfortunately harbor another painful experience. I want permanent friends that don't leave me and I want a lover but both seem unachievable. I HATE existence. Existence is a curse.

 

[Addled and Rattled]

I'm not sure I'll ever belong anywhere. No one in my life seems to understand why I am the way I am. I'm just defective and strange, and I feel so alone. I hate being alone. I tried so hard to make something of myself and it all came crashing down, and I simply cannot cope with it. I get that I'm "young" or whatever, but other people my age already have a degree. already have a career starting. I'm just surviving at this point and I don't even have time to think about how to fix it or what I even want to do. I'm not even convinced people would accept me after all the weird shit I did after I attempted CTB and literally thought I was dead for 3ish years.

 

[-Link-]

I thought it would be interesting to get a sample.

It's an interesting question!!

My biggest stumbling block is probably my feeling of being irreparably, fundamentally broken -- just wholly unfit for survival -- that I would have been "naturally selected out" a long time ago if not for my family's ongoing support... sort of like a crippled animal being dragged along with the herd instead of being abandoned to die.

I understand the underlying deep-seated reasons why I am this way. I also understand the processes of reconditioning or rewiring the human brain. I've been through so many treatments and learned the ins and outs of so many different techniques and pushed myself as hard as I could for so long in fighting against this. And yet... I feel like I've barely ever even made a dent in this, let alone any meaningful, measurable progress.

And I just became exhausted. Too tired to do it anymore. No more fight left in me. So, now my focus is just on surviving day to day which, I guess, is a bad spot to be in... but it's all I have right now.

 

[mango-meridian]

I'm surprised by the number of responses that mention health issues/chronic pain/chronic illness. Seems to be not talked about much for what a common reason it is for wanting to CTB. I hope you all can find better solutions or at least better methods of pain relief. I don't want to suggest anything because you've probably already heard it.

It's an interesting question!!

My biggest stumbling block is probably my feeling of being irreparably, fundamentally broken -- just wholly unfit for survival -- that I would have been "naturally selected out" a long time ago if not for my family's ongoing support... sort of like a crippled animal being dragged along with the herd instead of being abandoned to die.

I understand the underlying deep-seated reasons why I am this way. I also understand the processes of reconditioning or rewiring the human brain. I've been through so many treatments and learned the ins and outs of so many different techniques and pushed myself as hard as I could for so long in fighting against this. And yet... I feel like I've barely ever even made a dent in this, let alone any meaningful, measurable progress.

And I just became exhausted. Too tired to do it anymore. No more fight left in me. So, now my focus is just on surviving day to day which, I guess, is a bad spot to be in... but it's all I have right now.

That's interesting. So could it be summarized as a lack of independence (or a lack of feeling like you're independent)? And is it more because of mental health/mental traumas or do you have physical disabilities too?

 

[-Link-]

That's interesting. So could it be summarized as a lack of independence (or a lack of feeling like you're independent)? And is it more because of mental health/mental traumas or do you have physical disabilities too?

I don't have any physical disabilities.

I definitely have a lack of independence. Without my family doing what they do for me, I'd be dead, unquestionably. But this lack of independence is only a byproduct of a much larger problem. It's all founded in anxiety and depression. I have many different diagnoses -- depends on which doctor you talk to -- but they're all anxiety and depression-based.

If you dig deep down enough, it could be construed as a cripplingly low self-esteem that runs down into the very core of my being, almost as if it's built right into my brain's wiring. Theoretically, this should be recoverable because the brain's neuroplasticity only ever slows down -- it doesn't outright stop. But that's a fight I plainly don't have in me at this time.

 

[mango-meridian]

I don't have any physical disabilities.

I definitely have a lack of independence. Without my family doing what they do for me, I'd be dead, unquestionably. But this lack of independence is only a byproduct of a much larger problem. It's all founded in anxiety and depression. I have many different diagnoses -- depends on which doctor you talk to -- but they're all anxiety and depression-based.

If you dig deep down enough, it could be construed as a cripplingly low self-esteem that runs down into the very core of my being, almost as if it's built right into my brain's wiring. Theoretically, this should be recoverable because the brain's neuroplasticity only ever slows down -- it doesn't outright stop. But that's a fight I plainly don't have in me at this time.

Wow. It must run pretty deep then.

Well, I don't know if it helps at all, but I feel like your posts/comments are always really well thought out and seem to be helpful to a lot of folks. And you seem really knowledgeable about a lot of mental health topics.

But I get how knowing something consciously (I have talents, I have worth, I am capable, etc.) can be entirely different than having that belief instilled deeply into your being (on a subconscious, unconscious, or somatic level, etc.).