mango-meridian
Member
- Apr 5, 2024
- 58
What is the biggest issue/stumbling block you are dealing with on your road to recovery?
I thought it would be interesting to get a sample.
I thought it would be interesting to get a sample.
It's an interesting question!!I thought it would be interesting to get a sample.
That's interesting. So could it be summarized as a lack of independence (or a lack of feeling like you're independent)? And is it more because of mental health/mental traumas or do you have physical disabilities too?It's an interesting question!!
My biggest stumbling block is probably my feeling of being irreparably, fundamentally broken -- just wholly unfit for survival -- that I would have been "naturally selected out" a long time ago if not for my family's ongoing support... sort of like a crippled animal being dragged along with the herd instead of being abandoned to die.
I understand the underlying deep-seated reasons why I am this way. I also understand the processes of reconditioning or rewiring the human brain. I've been through so many treatments and learned the ins and outs of so many different techniques and pushed myself as hard as I could for so long in fighting against this. And yet... I feel like I've barely ever even made a dent in this, let alone any meaningful, measurable progress.
And I just became exhausted. Too tired to do it anymore. No more fight left in me. So, now my focus is just on surviving day to day which, I guess, is a bad spot to be in... but it's all I have right now.
I don't have any physical disabilities.That's interesting. So could it be summarized as a lack of independence (or a lack of feeling like you're independent)? And is it more because of mental health/mental traumas or do you have physical disabilities too?
Wow. It must run pretty deep then.I don't have any physical disabilities.
I definitely have a lack of independence. Without my family doing what they do for me, I'd be dead, unquestionably. But this lack of independence is only a byproduct of a much larger problem. It's all founded in anxiety and depression. I have many different diagnoses -- depends on which doctor you talk to -- but they're all anxiety and depression-based.
If you dig deep down enough, it could be construed as a cripplingly low self-esteem that runs down into the very core of my being, almost as if it's built right into my brain's wiring. Theoretically, this should be recoverable because the brain's neuroplasticity only ever slows down -- it doesn't outright stop. But that's a fight I plainly don't have in me at this time.