Help what is the best way to ctb for someone in my situation

[forsaken_fallacy_12]

i am in high school and live with my parents and siblings. my bedroom is two stories up from a porch and if i jumped i would land on a stone table. i am obese. my dad owns a pharmacy but since im currently in school my access to it is limited. all c2-c5 drugs are in a safe there that i dont know the code to. if anything is sent to my house there is a 9/10 chance my parents will open it without my consent. i have friends who might let me mail stuff to them but they probably wouldnt appreciate getting mailed some sort of poison. i dont have access to a rope. the only thing i can think of is stabbing myself but i dont wanna risk getting caught and saved and then my life getting ruined since my family never leaves me alone and barges into my room without knockin. please help

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish there is a straightforward way to just instantly leave in peace. But sadly we exist in such an anti-suicide society where suicide is already difficult enough even if someone has plenty of time alone. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.