depressedpharma
Lily
- Feb 2, 2024
- 14
Today I had sex with a close friend, and honestly it just reminded me how utterly broken I am as a human being. I wanted it, god I wanted it so bad, I wanted to enjoy it, I wanted to be able to feel that connection with someone else. Instead I again had something taken from me, instead I once again had my autonomy taken. Truly my autonomy has only been violated twice, however my autonomy is taken every time I relive it. God I wanted them to enjoy it. So much was taken once again.
One moment things were enjoyable, another I was in my head. Alone. You'd be surprised how lonely being in your own head world can be. Speaking almost feels like resurfacing for air, just long enough to keep living, but soon enough your alone again. I ramble to leave my head. I ramble, ramble, ramble. Guess what happens when you ramble? You end up alone again.
At least I have been some use to the world. I helped people in a way I could, and have made my peace.
One moment things were enjoyable, another I was in my head. Alone. You'd be surprised how lonely being in your own head world can be. Speaking almost feels like resurfacing for air, just long enough to keep living, but soon enough your alone again. I ramble to leave my head. I ramble, ramble, ramble. Guess what happens when you ramble? You end up alone again.
At least I have been some use to the world. I helped people in a way I could, and have made my peace.
