My preferred method would be to ingest something and then sleep in peacefully. Unfortunately, however, my disabilities and health issues are A BIT too severe to collect information and material reliably. So when I "fantasize", lately it developed into "jumping" as it is extremely simple. Drink some alcohol, find a good spot (which is another question I don't quite have an answer for yet) and then jump. But the idea scares me more and I worry that my body will be too mutilated. I wish it would show no signs of violent impact. I wish somebody saw the suffering and recognize the hopelessness of my situation and help me lol. Because I am slow and struggle to collect/comprehend info; or better I would struggle to set up a way. I am stuck here to suffer and there's no reliable way to go except jumping it seems. It is just quite violent. I suppose if it is really not bearable anymore I have to accept it as a very last resort but I really wish there was a way to end the suffering and pain prematurely without needing any kind of violence. Even if it is just gravity LOL.
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Venting "why dont you get help ?" but they dont tell you the help is miserable at least and abusive at most- sweetdecadance77
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