Discussion What if we are already ctb?

[warm dreams]

After I practiced the hanging method for six months, I often have thoughts that I am already dead and that what is happening around is not real. Derealization... I know. But I want to share my thoughts with you.

We can't know exactly what happens after ctb (I'm not talking about natural death). What if we live in a simulation or in a universe where ctb is not possible. That is, after a successful attempt, we will wake up again, only in a different reality or universe. So that you clearly understand my thought, I'll explain: it seems to me as if I had already died after I was preparing for ctb and everything that happens is just a stimulated second attempt to live. That is, in another universe I am already ctb, but I moved to this universe or simulation, where I was unable to do this and this will continue until natural death. That is, everyone who died from ctb in our reality is alive in another, where he returns to this forum again and writes that he had an unsuccessful attempt at ctb.

I know that this is complete nonsense, but it can neither be disproved nor proven and, if you follow this logic, then we are no longer responsible for the past universe. My point is that if we succeeded in ctb, and we are now in another reality, then we should conclude that we will not be aware of our death. What if your relatives in another universe are suffering because you killed yourself? But you are not bothered by this because you are in another universe or "afterlife".

Excuse me for this nonsense, I was just trying to instill in myself the idea that after death, I will not worry about my family, because I will be in eternal sleep.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

Hey, ever since my unsuccessful attempt back in 2021, I've had the same thought. This is a terrifying idea and quantum immortality has been discussed far too much on the internet to state that this theory is just something that cannot be real. People are sharing their stories about insane NDEs and this is quite worrying; there are plenty.

 

[hellispink]

Its such an interesting topic. Very eye opening for me. I think its very possible we live in a simulation, or that after we die maybe we in other realities. There are so many complexities with the universe. Too many synchronicities. Its also scary to think we might have been gone from one and still be stuck in another. I really wanna think this world or universe existence can be escaped.

 

[TakesOneToKnowOne]

Same, I went to the mirror multiple times to check if I can see a reflection of myself or I was a ghost.

Couple of days ago I had similar feeling, I looked back multiple times at the bed to check if my body was there, because it felt like I separated from it somehow (not sure how to explain).

Has not happened to me before.

 

[NewSereneC]

I like the simulation theory idea - the idea that future generations run ancestor simulations to explore history, and therefore there are a potentially infinite number of simulations and thus realities - the notion that you or I are experiencing the only "true" one out of hypothetical billions, is essentially impossible.

 

[Forever Sleep]

What makes you think natural death will break this cycle? If reincarnation exists. What's so special about natural death? Because it is willed by God? What about people who are resuscitated? Will God be pleased or angry about that?

I mean- I guess it's all possible. I agree- there are so many mysteries to life and the universe. I think it's just as plausible though that we happen to have evolved minds that are capable of thinking about this stuff. Just because we don't understand something, doesn't mean there's necessarily something magic behind it.

Regardless- what are the chances of 'you' being 'you' in the next life? Do you remember past lives? Of the billions of people who have lived on this planet- why don't more of us remember past lives? Unless- this is the beginning planet for all of us but then- why do some people seem to have such bad luck? Do you really feel like any bad luck you are experiencing now is atonement for something you previously did? I guess there's a certain symmetry there. Would make more sense as to why poor innocent children have cancer. Why aren't we all punished as children then? Why wait till some people are adults to clobber them?

I just don't get what all this would be for though. Surely, there would be some end goal. What could it be? What are we supposed to be learning? Are we supposed to be becoming better people? Not sure that we are as a race... I mean- we've already been here for 7 million years or there abouts. Were we dinosaurs before that- or- did we exist on a different planet entirely? I don't know. The more you think about it, the more far fetched it seems to me. But- I'm willing to keep an open mind. I suppose I hope this is it though.

 

[LeWantsToDie]

What makes you think natural death will break this cycle? If reincarnation exists. What's so special about natural death? Because it is willed by God? What about people who are resuscitated? Will God be pleased or angry about that?

I mean- I guess it's all possible. I agree- there are so many mysteries to life and the universe. I think it's just as plausible though that we happen to have evolved minds that are capable of thinking about this stuff. Just because we don't understand something, doesn't mean there's necessarily something magic behind it.

Regardless- what are the chances of 'you' being 'you' in the next life? Do you remember past lives? Of the billions of people who have lived on this planet- why don't more of us remember past lives? Unless- this is the beginning planet for all of us but then- why do some people seem to have such bad luck? Do you really feel like any bad luck you are experiencing now is atonement for something you previously did? I guess there's a certain symmetry there. Would make more sense as to why poor innocent children have cancer. Why aren't we all punished as children then? Why wait till some people are adults to clobber them?

I just don't get what all this would be for though. Surely, there would be some end goal. What could it be? What are we supposed to be learning? Are we supposed to be becoming better people? Not sure that we are as a race... I mean- we've already been here for 7 million years or there abouts. Were we dinosaurs before that- or- did we exist on a different planet entirely? I don't know. The more you think about it, the more far fetched it seems to me. But- I'm willing to keep an open mind. I suppose I hope this is it though.

This is definitely a very interesting thread. I'm not sure but I think what differs natural death from ctb is that natural death is like supposed to be the endpoint. CTB, if we're thinking in the sense of everything being a simulation would essentially be a cheat. Like you leave before your XP has reached a level that allows natural death or so. The more I think about this, the more invested I get. I hope there isn't a single God controlling this though. I think it's more of a giant preprogrammed simulator if anything. The bad luck thing would work because depending on what you did consequences would change but at this point, we're talking about karma. As for the end-goal, no idea. This does seem strikingly similar to Buddhism though - the bad luck part. If we lean in more to Buddhism to explain it, I guess the end goal is to die for real. Like to not be reincarnated anymore. Buddhism is seriously the most suicidal of religions - everyone is doing good stuff and avoiding bad stuff just to die and stay dead.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This is definitely a very interesting thread. I'm not sure but I think what differs natural death from ctb is that natural death is like supposed to be the endpoint. CTB, if we're thinking in the sense of everything being a simulation would essentially be a cheat. Like you leave before your XP has reached a level that allows natural death or so. The more I think about this, the more invested I get. I hope there isn't a single God controlling this though. I think it's more of a giant preprogrammed simulator if anything. The bad luck thing would work because depending on what you did consequences would change but at this point, we're talking about karma. As for the end-goal, no idea. This does seem strikingly similar to Buddhism though - the bad luck part. If we lean in more to Buddhism to explain it, I guess the end goal is to die for real. Like to not be reincarnated anymore. Buddhism is seriously the most suicidal of religions - everyone is doing good stuff and avoiding bad stuff just to die and stay dead.

Yeah- that makes sense. Similar to the way either violent or sudden accidental deaths or suicides may be too much of a shock for whatever our consciousness is to process- so we end up lingering on as ghosts. I know that's a different line of thought but related in terms of our consciousness being something separate to our physical bodies.

I wonder why some babies die naturally though. And- what about murder? Was that person destined to be murdered? But- if there's destiny- then, there isn't free choice and without choice- there can't be blame. People can't be held accountable for doing right or wrong if they didn't actually make that choice but were destined to do it. If CTB messes up the 'natural' timeline- then, plenty of other things do also. If CTB is 'unnatural'- so is IVF. That child likely wouldn't have been born without medical intervention. Same goes for life preserving procedures. Wasn't that person supposed to die at that point?

I guess I'd go for this kind of stuff more if the brain wasn't capable of dreaming and hallucinating. I feel like a lot of this afterlife theory is based on NDE's but people experience pretty whacky things taking drugs. When we die, all sorts of weird chemicals seem to be released in the brain. Plus- dreams are just crazy and we can be sure they aren't 'real' in the same sense that physically living is real. I can fly in my dreams but my body remains in bed. Why have a simulation within a simulation? If living is also a simulation? I wonder if we'll ever find out...

 

[LeWantsToDie]

Yeah- that makes sense. Similar to the way either violent or sudden accidental deaths or suicides may be too much of a shock for whatever our consciousness is to process- so we end up lingering on as ghosts. I know that's a different line of thought but related in terms of our consciousness being something separate to our physical bodies.

I wonder why some babies die naturally though. And- what about murder? Was that person destined to be murdered? But- if there's destiny- then, there isn't free choice and without choice- there can't be blame. People can't be held accountable for doing right or wrong if they didn't actually make that choice but were destined to do it. If CTB messes up the 'natural' timeline- then, plenty of other things do also. If CTB is 'unnatural'- so is IVF. That child likely wouldn't have been born without medical intervention. Same goes for life preserving procedures. Wasn't that person supposed to die at that point?

I guess I'd go for this kind of stuff more if the brain wasn't capable of dreaming and hallucinating. I feel like a lot of this afterlife theory is based on NDE's but people experience pretty whacky things taking drugs. When we die, all sorts of weird chemicals seem to be released in the brain. Plus- dreams are just crazy and we can be sure they aren't 'real' in the same sense that physically living is real. I can fly in my dreams but my body remains in bed. Why have a simulation within a simulation? If living is also a simulation? I wonder if we'll ever find out...

Hmm, not sure but considering the reincarnation thing sounds a lot of Buddhism, I guess I'll just again say what buddhism says on the topic. The babies dying naturally thing actually kinda has a weirdly straightforward explanation - it's essentially either A) glitch, B) the baby's finishing up its bad karma or C) the parents' karma to have a baby die. B at least makes the parents feel better a bit because it's like their baby is going to finally get to die and not be reborn (ending the circle of reincarnation). As for murder, no idea - but I do know the punishment for murder is pretty bad - you get to reincarnate millions of times and each life is gonna be terrible. Honestly, I'm hoping and praying this is my last life before I can die forever. Gonna be so mad if I reincarnate.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

All of this is far too horrifying to contemplate.
I've had experiences on acid that made me question the true nature of reality.
Existence is terrifying and bizarre to me and I want no part in it.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

Yes, in 2020 I almost jumped from a window (I hesitated because it was not so tall, I don't regret it, I should have tried another method but that particular decision was right because it wasn't a tall point of the building). I have very confusing memories, the last thing I really remember is a great light coming from another window and the feeling of peace and happiness I had. And sometimes I feel as I really jumped from that window, even only methaphorically. A part of me surely jumped and died. Sometimes I imagine I really jumped however, like you guys wrote. Because after that everything is going bad, my life was terrible even before that occasion (otherwise I wouldn't have tried to jump), but after that I've had 3 really horrible years, everything is going worse and worse. So maybe I really jumped and I'm in a sort of hell? In a sort of purgatory? At the of the day I don't remember much of that day, maybe I jumped, maybe now I'm in a coma and this is not real. Because really everything is going worse worse, at least before that attempt I was obtaining something, but after that....a nightmare

 

[user56765567]

It's an interesting concept to think about I mean if you do attempt do you still retain the damage that your first attempted did if you get transferred to a second universe? Maybe, but you never know and what happens if you did heal and keep trying over and over and over again? if there's an infinite amount of the universe I suppose it wouldn't matter but if there's only a limited amount of them what would happen then if you reached the last one and did it then? If you go into another universe is it going to be a very similer if not exact replica of your original universe or is a completely/slightly different one? Do these other universes have my parents on them or something similar or when my parents die do they come here or somewhere else? if they are clones does it really matter who my mom and dad really were? If different does nothing really matter? I think there's a lot of things that could make this very problematic for me personally if the universe was like this. The amount of questions I would have and the existential implications of it all could just be horrifying to me at least. I think it's still cool and fascinating to think about nonetheless.

 

[Falling Slowly]

Spiritual mystics from centuries past claimed that life is just a dream, which is just another way of saying that it's a simulation/virtual reality.

If it is a simulation, is it just one simulation, like a multiplayer game, with everyone in the one 'gamespace'? All of us as 'Player One'; Putin nukes my Kiev, everyone's Kiev is nuked.
Or is it multiple parallel simulations, like everyone playing a single-player game? I'm 'Player One' in my simulation, everyone else is a 'Non-Playing- Character'(NPC), copies of the 'real' other gamespace people, who are in their own simulations as 'Player One'. Putin nukes Kiev in my simulation, but Kiev doesn't get nuked in other simulations. In which case we're really all alone in our own simulations, and everyone else is just an electromagnetic copy!

Ultimately, we have no way of knowing, but it's interesting to think about, if you're into that kind of thing.

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

After I practiced the hanging method for six months, I often have thoughts that I am already dead and that what is happening around is not real. Derealization... I know. But I want to share my thoughts with you.

We can't know exactly what happens after ctb (I'm not talking about natural death). What if we live in a simulation or in a universe where ctb is not possible. That is, after a successful attempt, we will wake up again, only in a different reality or universe. So that you clearly understand my thought, I'll explain: it seems to me as if I had already died after I was preparing for ctb and everything that happens is just a stimulated second attempt to live. That is, in another universe I am already ctb, but I moved to this universe or simulation, where I was unable to do this and this will continue until natural death. That is, everyone who died from ctb in our reality is alive in another, where he returns to this forum again and writes that he had an unsuccessful attempt at ctb.

I know that this is complete nonsense, but it can neither be disproved nor proven and, if you follow this logic, then we are no longer responsible for the past universe. My point is that if we succeeded in ctb, and we are now in another reality, then we should conclude that we will not be aware of our death. What if your relatives in another universe are suffering because you killed yourself? But you are not bothered by this because you are in another universe or "afterlife".

Excuse me for this nonsense, I was just trying to instill in myself the idea that after death, I will not worry about my family, because I will be in eternal sleep.

I've had that thought many times. I used to think it was some special supernatural awareness (I know, laughable). I realized now that yeah, depersonalization and derealization as a result of constant longstanding trauma.

Hmm, not sure but considering the reincarnation thing sounds a lot of Buddhism, I guess I'll just again say what buddhism says on the topic. The babies dying naturally thing actually kinda has a weirdly straightforward explanation - it's essentially either A) glitch, B) the baby's finishing up its bad karma or C) the parents' karma to have a baby die. B at least makes the parents feel better a bit because it's like their baby is going to finally get to die and not be reborn (ending the circle of reincarnation). As for murder, no idea - but I do know the punishment for murder is pretty bad - you get to reincarnate millions of times and each life is gonna be terrible. Honestly, I'm hoping and praying this is my last life before I can die forever. Gonna be so mad if I reincarnate.

Too bad you won't ever know either way.

 

[warm dreams]

Spiritual mystics from centuries past claimed that life is just a dream, which is just another way of saying that it's a simulation/virtual reality.

If it is a simulation, is it just one simulation, like a multiplayer game, with everyone in the one 'gamespace'? All of us as 'Player One'; Putin nukes my Kiev, everyone's Kiev is nuked.
Or is it multiple parallel simulations, like everyone playing a single-player game? I'm 'Player One' in my simulation, everyone else is a 'Non-Playing- Character'(NPC), copies of the 'real' other gamespace people, who are in their own simulations as 'Player One'. Putin nukes Kiev in my simulation, but Kiev doesn't get nuked in other simulations. In which case we're really all alone in our own simulations, and everyone else is just an electromagnetic copy!

Ultimately, we have no way of knowing, but it's interesting to think about, if you're into that kind of thing.

Мне очень жаль, мужик.. Я не раз говорил, как я ненавижу себя и свой народ за то, что мы ебаные зомби потакающие жирным тиранам. Я ничего не могу исправить, мои сочувствия ничего не стоят. Я просто надеюсь, что у тебя всё хорошо.

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

It's an interesting concept to think about I mean if you do attempt do you still retain the damage that your first attempted did if you get transferred to a second universe? Maybe, but you never know and what happens if you did heal and keep trying over and over and over again? if there's an infinite amount of the universe I suppose it wouldn't matter but if there's only a limited amount of them what would happen then if you reached the last one and did it then? If you go into another universe is it going to be a very similer if not exact replica of your original universe or is a completely/slightly different one? Do these other universes have my parents on them or something similar or when my parents die do they come here or somewhere else? if they are clones does it really matter who my mom and dad really were? If different does nothing really matter? I think there's a lot of things that could make this very problematic for me personally if the universe was like this. The amount of questions I would have and the existential implications of it all could just be horrifying to me at least. I think it's still cool and fascinating to think about nonetheless.

And then of course, there's the question of WHO reincarnates. It's impossible to divorce personality from the brain's biological states. Even if you believe in the soul, you can't reasonably contend that this soul is immutable. How else would one explain the transition of childhood to adulthood?
So, to the point, perhaps you do wake up in another universe that mirrors this one, who is the you that awakens? Certainly, not the same person, right?

Spiritual mystics from centuries past claimed that life is just a dream, which is just another way of saying that it's a simulation/virtual reality.

If it is a simulation, is it just one simulation, like a multiplayer game, with everyone in the one 'gamespace'? All of us as 'Player One'; Putin nukes my Kiev, everyone's Kiev is nuked.
Or is it multiple parallel simulations, like everyone playing a single-player game? I'm 'Player One' in my simulation, everyone else is a 'Non-Playing- Character'(NPC), copies of the 'real' other gamespace people, who are in their own simulations as 'Player One'. Putin nukes Kiev in my simulation, but Kiev doesn't get nuked in other simulations. In which case we're really all alone in our own simulations, and everyone else is just an electromagnetic copy!

Ultimately, we have no way of knowing, but it's interesting to think about, if you're into that kind of thing.

That's solipsism, I think. The thinking that we are all deeply existentially alone in our unique experiences?

 

[warm dreams]

What makes you think natural death will break this cycle? If reincarnation exists. What's so special about natural death? Because it is willed by God? What about people who are resuscitated? Will God be pleased or angry about that?

I mean- I guess it's all possible. I agree- there are so many mysteries to life and the universe. I think it's just as plausible though that we happen to have evolved minds that are capable of thinking about this stuff. Just because we don't understand something, doesn't mean there's necessarily something magic behind it.

Regardless- what are the chances of 'you' being 'you' in the next life? Do you remember past lives? Of the billions of people who have lived on this planet- why don't more of us remember past lives? Unless- this is the beginning planet for all of us but then- why do some people seem to have such bad luck? Do you really feel like any bad luck you are experiencing now is atonement for something you previously did? I guess there's a certain symmetry there. Would make more sense as to why poor innocent children have cancer. Why aren't we all punished as children then? Why wait till some people are adults to clobber them?

I just don't get what all this would be for though. Surely, there would be some end goal. What could it be? What are we supposed to be learning? Are we supposed to be becoming better people? Not sure that we are as a race... I mean- we've already been here for 7 million years or there abouts. Were we dinosaurs before that- or- did we exist on a different planet entirely? I don't know. The more you think about it, the more far fetched it seems to me. But- I'm willing to keep an open mind. I suppose I hope this is it though.

Bro, did this bother you or are you just talking about this topic? I apologize if you saw somewhere the unfoundedness of my reasoning, which could offend you.

I didn't talk about natural death, because I don't know what will really happen after it in the context of my crazy theory. I don't believe in anything. And if we start from objective logic, then ctb and natural death are no different. I did not speculate on the topic of natural death, because I indulged in speculation only ctb and nothing more. Excuse me again, my friend.

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

Spiritual mystics from centuries past claimed that life is just a dream, which is just another way of saying that it's a simulation/virtual reality.

If it is a simulation, is it just one simulation, like a multiplayer game, with everyone in the one 'gamespace'? All of us as 'Player One'; Putin nukes my Kiev, everyone's Kiev is nuked.
Or is it multiple parallel simulations, like everyone playing a single-player game? I'm 'Player One' in my simulation, everyone else is a 'Non-Playing- Character'(NPC), copies of the 'real' other gamespace people, who are in their own simulations as 'Player One'. Putin nukes Kiev in my simulation, but Kiev doesn't get nuked in other simulations. In which case we're really all alone in our own simulations, and everyone else is just an electromagnetic copy!

Ultimately, we have no way of knowing, but it's interesting to think about, if you're into that kind of thing.

That's solipsism, I think. The thinking that we are all deeply existentially alone in our unique experiences?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Bro, did this bother you or are you just talking about this topic? I apologize if you saw somewhere the unfoundedness of my reasoning, which could offend you.

I didn't talk about natural death, because I don't know what will really happen after it in the context of my crazy theory. I don't believe in anything. And if we start from objective logic, then ctb and natural death are no different. I did not speculate on the topic of natural death, because I indulged in speculation only ctb and nothing more. Excuse me again, my friend.

I'm sorry if my tone offended you. I tend to debate heatedly but I don't mean to offend anyone. No- I didn't take offence at all. I suppose I do get quite intrigued and animated on the ideas of right and wrong. I guess because I feel like they tend to lead back to a God of some kind and I guess I have problems with God and orthodox religion. So- it's that I tend to get argumentative about! But no- there's absolutely no reason for you to apologise. I feel like I should apologise if I upset you. I probably do come across as passive aggressive sometimes but it's always meant to be towards theories- rather than people.

It tends to be theories that we're all going to be punished that get me going. Maybe in part because I fear it could be true! It's not like I have a solid belief/disbelief. But yeah- I probably sound aggresive because I'm thinking how unfair it will be if people who CTB because their lives were so difficult are then punished with an even more difficult life! So, I guess my arguing is me trying to convince myself that it won't happen!

But, I really didn't mean to have a go at you. I actually enjoy these kinds of discussions because I'm undecided myself. I probably just get too heated in them though. I'm sorry.

 

[warm dreams]

I'm sorry if my tone offended you. I tend to debate heatedly but I don't mean to offend anyone. No- I didn't take offence at all. I suppose I do get quite intrigued and animated on the ideas of right and wrong. I guess because I feel like they tend to lead back to a God of some kind and I guess I have problems with God and orthodox religion. So- it's that I tend to get argumentative about! But no- there's absolutely no reason for you to apologise. I feel like I should apologise if I upset you. I probably do come across as passive aggressive sometimes but it's always meant to be towards theories- rather than people.

It tends to be theories that we're all going to be punished that get me going. Maybe in part because I fear it could be true! It's not like I have a solid belief/disbelief. But yeah- I probably sound aggresive because I'm thinking how unfair it will be if people who CTB because their lives were so difficult are then punished with an even more difficult life! So, I guess my arguing is me trying to convince myself that it won't happen!

But, I really didn't mean to have a go at you. I actually enjoy these kinds of discussions because I'm undecided myself. I probably just get too heated in them though. I'm sorry.

I am truly glad that there are such conscious people as you. Let's forget this. You have every right to be affected by your emotions - that's normal. I just don't like it when I make someone uncomfortable, so I decided to reply to your message to make sure everything was ok. Buddy, it's okay.

As for impulsive reasoning about God, I completely agree with you. Personally, I perceive this in such a way that I am angry at stupid people who believe in God and justify everything in the ways of the Lord, because I used to think so too (that is, I was zombified). And I, just like you, become very angry not at the opponent of the dispute, but at the idea of the dispute about God, because I was also previously susceptible to this idea about God. Religion is the zombification of people and I am outraged by the fact that I have "trauma" after this zombification (for example, I have not believed in God for a long time, but I am still afraid of him, I respect morals and all sorts of laws, but I fully understand that this is stupidity and methods manipulation).

I can give an analogy with the situation in my country. I live in Russia. And as you can understand, the political regime is also essentially a religion. As a child, I was a blind patriot, because this is my country, etc. But now I understand what kind of shit I live in. I hate myself and the people in my country because they stupidly believe in these "sacred" ideas of Mr. P. Propaganda and intimidation.

Sorry for such a long answer, I'm just getting at the point that I think it's normal to be angry and impulsive towards human stupidity. I'm glad that topics like this can be discussed here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I am truly glad that there are such conscious people as you. Let's forget this. You have every right to be affected by your emotions - that's normal. I just don't like it when I make someone uncomfortable, so I decided to reply to your message to make sure everything was ok. Buddy, it's okay.

As for impulsive reasoning about God, I completely agree with you. Personally, I perceive this in such a way that I am angry at stupid people who believe in God and justify everything in the ways of the Lord, because I used to think so too (that is, I was zombified). And I, just like you, become very angry not at the opponent of the dispute, but at the idea of the dispute about God, because I was also previously susceptible to this idea about God. Religion is the zombification of people and I am outraged by the fact that I have "trauma" after this zombification (for example, I have not believed in God for a long time, but I am still afraid of him, I respect morals and all sorts of laws, but I fully understand that this is stupidity and methods manipulation).

I can give an analogy with the situation in my country. I live in Russia. And as you can understand, the political regime is also essentially a religion. As a child, I was a blind patriot, because this is my country, etc. But now I understand what kind of shit I live in. I hate myself and the people in my country because they stupidly believe in these "sacred" ideas of Mr. P. Propaganda and intimidation.

Sorry for such a long answer, I'm just getting at the point that I think it's normal to be angry and impulsive towards human stupidity. I'm glad that topics like this can be discussed here.

Everything is absolutely ok, so- no worries at all. I'm sorry if I came on too strong.

Yeah- I have major issues with God and religion. Oh wow- Russia? Yes, I can imagine certain ideas were pushed on you from a young age. I think all countries are like it to varying degrees to be honest. I'm from the UK. Same as you- I used to be such a patriot. I guess I still love the idea of parts of the UK. The countryside is beautiful. I like politeness.

But like you- as you get older, you start to see the dark side. So much money laundering goes on here for Russia for one thing! Suddenly, you realise that there's not quite so much to be proud of. We can be a very racist country- up in arms about immigrants but you look at our history and the British Empire- it's embarassing. I reckon all countries have skeletons in their closets.

I don't think you should feel ashamed of yourself though. You have clearly educated yourself and become enlightened. At least you're questioning stuff. Even if you're going along with it on the outside, (not sure if you are or not) most of us are when you think about it. Life's hard enough to get by in without being seen as some kind of disruptor or activist. I imagine that's pretty dangerous in Russia at the moment.

I agree though- I'm so glad spaces like this do still exist to be able to talk openly about tricky subjects.

 

[Aergia]

Erik Hoel wrote a pretty cool short story on this.

It was while reading on the bus that I came across a 1987 paper by Hans Moravec. In it he proposed a thought experiment called "quantum suicide." It's a version of the famous Schrödinger's Cat thought experiment, where a cat is put in a box with some method of releasing poison gas if a Geiger counter clicks. The Geiger counter picks up atomic decay, which, in the box at least, is totally random. According to the Many-Worlds Interpretation of quantum physics, two universes branch at each moment that the Geiger counter could or could not click. In one universe, the cat dies. In the other universe the cat lives. But Hans Moravec imagined instead that a person climbs into the box, not a cat. As the multiverse splits, one version of the person lives while the other dies from the poison gas. Consciousness, by definition, always continues on in the one who lives. So to a person who climbs into the box it seems like the Geiger counter never clicks. Your consciousness automatically defaults to the universe in which the poison is never released. You are by definition only aware in the worlds where you do not die, and by the rules of quantum physics, there are always worlds in which you do not die.

But like you say, it's unfalsifiable. We know it's possible for one to be in a state of oblivion because we were all there before being born, after all.

 

[𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆]

It's not a nonsense. As you said - we will never know what happens after death until we die. We can have beliefs but if they are true or false will be proven when the day comes.
The idea of living in endless loop is a scary thought, overall posobility of any afterlife is scary. Even happy and healthy people wouldn't want to be alive forever, let alone someone who struggles in any way. It sounds very exhausting and painful.