Help What if I actually wanted to suffer

[Dreamland6947]

I don't know why I'm thinking this, I'm not very well tonight
I'm wondering if trying to ctb without pain is just harder

What if I just wanted to die and suffer while dying

What would be ways of dying, a manner that is reliable to die, but I don't care about the pain. I'm gonna be dead after all. I'll just get the pain I deserve.

SN is incredible rare to find
SA too, KN too
CO fire requires planning and is unreliable
Inert gaz too
I mean ligatures and hanging seem fine, but they're too prone to my stupid ass failing them and not knowing how to tie knots because fuck my dyspraxia
I don't have a gun because Europe

I don't know
I'm conflicted
I want to die

but I also want to suffer

 

[58Alice85]

this is an unusual question
dousing yourself with gasoline and light yourself up?
go to one of those safaris in Africa and be eaten alive by lions?
slowly cut yourself over several hours and slowly bleed out?
drowning is reportedly extremely painful
most people want to minimise pain not maximise it

 

[Dreamland6947]

this is an unusual question
dousing yourself with gasoline and light yourself up?
go to one of those safaris in Africa and be eaten alive by lions?
slowly cut yourself over several hours and slowly bleed out?
drowning is reportedly extremely painful
most people want to minimise pain not maximise it

I don't know, but surely there are some easier ways that are painful but certain.

Painless and certain are hard to match.

Gasoline cold work I guess, but if you fail you're so fucked. And I've seen so many light themselves just to survive
I have doubts about the safari thing
Cutting really is proven to be a extremely unreliable way to ctb
Drowing could be it yes, I mean at this point I should just go the shallow drowning way I guess.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I would advise against burning yourself alive because it's far too easy to set other things on fire. Go in nature, you could start a forest fire that leads to widespread destruction. Do it at home and you could set your house and whole neighborhood on fire. It's too easy to injure or kill others which I think is entirely unethical.