A
AsexualBarbieBoy
Member
- Jun 7, 2019
- 87
Do you think your preferred method reflects on certain aspects of your personality? I'd love to hear how if so.
I'm personally torn between two methods. Jumping was my initial choice:
1. There's a beautiful bridge nearby surrounded by nature.
I'm generally a peaceful guy that loves beauty and nature. The area of the chosen bridge is definitely somewhere I'd love to hang out in complete silence. It seems appropriate to CTB there.
2. It's somewhat considerate
I've always been a people-pleaser who worries a lot about not harming others. By jumping into a river, I'm hoping the water will do the job of disposing of my body so that nobody has to deal with it. I certainly wouldn't jump onto concrete where someone would have to clean the mess. If I do choose this method, I will carry my ID in my pocket and will alert people in my delayed email of where I jumped in case my body washes up but I doubt it will. This is one of the highest bridges in the country and I suspect I'm going to rupture and sink when I hit the water.
3. It's expressive
I really suck at talking to people and express myself best through art (writing, drawing). Jumping would be an expression of my anguish and a show of just how desperate I am. Bridges are also quite a good metaphor for being a 'bridge' to death.
However, ever sine finding out about Sn, I've been seriously considering it too.
1. The ritual of consuming something and waiting for the effects is similar to the process of taking psychedelics and waiting for them to kick in.
The entire ritual of taking anti-emetics followed by Sn would be nothing new. I'm always experimenting with different psychedelics, opiates and dissociatives so this would be yet another one of those days. I'm so used to consuming shitloads of meds and bitter substances that I don't think SI would even kick in with Sn. I'm just habituated to the process.
2. It's non-violent
This is probably one of the biggest motivators to go with Sn. I'm not a violent person at all. Never been in a fight and am 100% more likely to compromise than argue with someone. Jumping is tempting, but it will be the most violent thing I've ever done (even if it is violence against myself). Sn just seems to align more with my more peaceful tendencies.
3. My body might be able to be used for other purposes
This ties in with being considerate. With jumping, my body goes to waste. I'm hoping that with Sn, my intact corpse will be of some use even if its just for med students to pracitce surgery on my pathetic body.
I'm personally torn between two methods. Jumping was my initial choice:
1. There's a beautiful bridge nearby surrounded by nature.
I'm generally a peaceful guy that loves beauty and nature. The area of the chosen bridge is definitely somewhere I'd love to hang out in complete silence. It seems appropriate to CTB there.
2. It's somewhat considerate
I've always been a people-pleaser who worries a lot about not harming others. By jumping into a river, I'm hoping the water will do the job of disposing of my body so that nobody has to deal with it. I certainly wouldn't jump onto concrete where someone would have to clean the mess. If I do choose this method, I will carry my ID in my pocket and will alert people in my delayed email of where I jumped in case my body washes up but I doubt it will. This is one of the highest bridges in the country and I suspect I'm going to rupture and sink when I hit the water.
3. It's expressive
I really suck at talking to people and express myself best through art (writing, drawing). Jumping would be an expression of my anguish and a show of just how desperate I am. Bridges are also quite a good metaphor for being a 'bridge' to death.
However, ever sine finding out about Sn, I've been seriously considering it too.
1. The ritual of consuming something and waiting for the effects is similar to the process of taking psychedelics and waiting for them to kick in.
The entire ritual of taking anti-emetics followed by Sn would be nothing new. I'm always experimenting with different psychedelics, opiates and dissociatives so this would be yet another one of those days. I'm so used to consuming shitloads of meds and bitter substances that I don't think SI would even kick in with Sn. I'm just habituated to the process.
2. It's non-violent
This is probably one of the biggest motivators to go with Sn. I'm not a violent person at all. Never been in a fight and am 100% more likely to compromise than argue with someone. Jumping is tempting, but it will be the most violent thing I've ever done (even if it is violence against myself). Sn just seems to align more with my more peaceful tendencies.
3. My body might be able to be used for other purposes
This ties in with being considerate. With jumping, my body goes to waste. I'm hoping that with Sn, my intact corpse will be of some use even if its just for med students to pracitce surgery on my pathetic body.