what do you write in a note

[CosmicPaperCut]

i feel like i have so so much to say to every person in my life. its overwhelming. i know I don't want to go without a note but the idea of even starting to write one is so daunting

most things i have to say are anger at the world. but i suppose ill take those to the grave with me. i want my friends, family and bf to know i love them and i desperately want them to understand that ctb is a rational choice i made. but i fear nothing i say will make them understand

 

[sugarh1gh]

Honestly, as it is hard to convince us not to ctb, it is hard to convince other's with ctb. For me, I have general note where I explain about why I choose ctb, and personalized letter for my friends and family.

If you write about the reasonings, there is a chance that some of them will understand your situation. Not necessarily they would do the same thing or support you ctb, but they would get how much of burden you were going through and why it was your choice.

Don't think about it too hard. I think the ultimate reasoning behind ctb is that we all want to find peace.

 

[nightlygem]

assuming that you're not in a dire rush to leave this world/impulsively going to ctb, I recommend writing little bits at a time. When an idea pops into your head or something reminds you of what you want to say, write it down on paper or on your phone. After a while, you'll have sections of your letters planned out, which then you can put it together before your last moments.
this is a method I've been using for a while now, unfortunately I've deleted a lot of the notes I've written due to my "I'm healed!" Manic moments, but I feel like this is a less stressful way to handle writing letters.

 

[CosmicPaperCut]

assuming that you're not in a dire rush to leave this world/impulsively going to ctb, I recommend writing little bits at a time. When an idea pops into your head or something reminds you of what you want to say, write it down on paper or on your phone. After a while, you'll have sections of your letters planned out, which then you can put it together before your last moments.
this is a method I've been using for a while now, unfortunately I've deleted a lot of the notes I've written due to my "I'm healed!" Manic moments, but I feel like this is a less stressful way to handle writing letters.

this is incredibly helpful actually. i guess i don't need to write it in one go. im still trying to make sense of my existence & figure out if/when ill be ready to ctb, but just wanna have a note in case i decide today's the day. thank you

 

[Black Rose Bunny]

i don't think there's any way to convince other people of that. it's an unimaginable concept to them i think. a lot of people can't even imagine wanting to die, much less that it would *actually* be good. in my opinion a suicide note mostly just serves to provide some level of comfort to the people still alive, and perhaps help them understand, and they don't necessarily need to agree with your decision for that

 

[SuicidalTiger]

There are many ways to write a note, I think it should be personal, as stated by nightlygem above little bits daily is the way to go... I normally find examples help me, in this case... Here is mine, to my friend, I hope to one day never need this.


"Hello [Friend]

If you're reading this, then I am dead, I have committed suicide. I have walked into the sun...

Life was hard and painful, bar you there was no good in it... I had enough the loss of my father affected me more than I ever dared say, the loss of him at an 5-years old caused my life to spiral into the gutter in a trajectory that could not be fixed. My own mother didn't love me, my own brother saw fit to abuse me as child... The damage from these two were eternal, and I could not fix myself. I was trapped in a damaged body and a damaged soul.

Couple this with the childhood bullying, the poverty, the obesity from said poverty, the autism... My self-hatred of my mixed-race nature, and my awareness of people's value based on their outwards genetics. I was finished before I even began and could not see a way out, I was destroyed as a child, as a 13-year old when I got my first depression diagnosis, it just took till 27 to finalize this. I lived a long life, and it was all pain and misery.

You, and [Boyriend] both tried to set me on the straight-and-narrow but this proved to be futile, there was too much damage and too much pain to fix me, I was already damaged irreparably by the end of the [Secondary School]

You were my best friend during those tumultuous years, and one of the few bright things I could look forward to in this life. My spark of hope in an otherwise endless darkness of bullying and child abuse. Even after the culmination of the [Secondary School], you were there, offering a shoulder to cry on, advice, and more than that... Friendship.

You, [Friend], were my best friend, and I am eternally grateful I ever got to spend time with you. I was lucky that, I ever got to call someone like you friend.

I ask that you do not let despair take you, as it took me, fight it with all of you might and beat it. This marks my end, my final! But for you this tale goes on, I ask that you do what I could never and live a meaningful life with your family.

I will see you on the other side,

Goodbye [Friend] my best-friend in this life.

Life was the night and I walked into the sun."

I hope this example from a fellow SaSu user helps you, no matter what you choose. This note was/is to my best friend,

 

[CosmicPaperCut]

There are many ways to write a note, I think it should be personal, as stated by nightlygem above little bits daily is the way to go... I normally find examples help me, in this case... Here is mine, to my friend, I hope to one day never need this.


"Hello [Friend]

If you're reading this, then I am dead, I have committed suicide. I have walked into the sun...

Life was hard and painful, bar you there was no good in it... I had enough the loss of my father affected me more than I ever dared say, the loss of him at an 5-years old caused my life to spiral into the gutter in a trajectory that could not be fixed. My own mother didn't love me, my own brother saw fit to abuse me as child... The damage from these two were eternal, and I could not fix myself. I was trapped in a damaged body and a damaged soul.

Couple this with the childhood bullying, the poverty, the obesity from said poverty, the autism... My self-hatred of my mixed-race nature, and my awareness of people's value based on their outwards genetics. I was finished before I even began and could not see a way out, I was destroyed as a child, as a 13-year old when I got my first depression diagnosis, it just took till 27 to finalize this. I lived a long life, and it was all pain and misery.

You, and [Boyriend] both tried to set me on the straight-and-narrow but this proved to be futile, there was too much damage and too much pain to fix me, I was already damaged irreparably by the end of the [Secondary School]

You were my best friend during those tumultuous years, and one of the few bright things I could look forward to in this life. My spark of hope in an otherwise endless darkness of bullying and child abuse. Even after the culmination of the [Secondary School], you were there, offering a shoulder to cry on, advice, and more than that... Friendship.

You, [Friend], were my best friend, and I am eternally grateful I ever got to spend time with you. I was lucky that, I ever got to call someone like you friend.

I ask that you do not let despair take you, as it took me, fight it with all of you might and beat it. This marks my end, my final! But for you this tale goes on, I ask that you do what I could never and live a meaningful life with your family.

I will see you on the other side,

Goodbye [Friend] my best-friend in this life.

Life was the night and I walked into the sun."

I hope this example from a fellow SaSu user helps you, no matter what you choose. This note was/is to my best friend,

this is so touching, thank you for sharing. i wish i was as poetic as you lol

 

[Sulyya]

I think if I ctb it could cascade into another death or two, as I have friends who seem to have different issues and might follow. I almost made a thread about this last night, about what to include which could ease those people.

One thing I want to include and phrase effectively is 'Please know that I tried to cope for a long time and tried to get professional and medical help. Maybe you wish that you had known and could have done something, but it would have made it more difficult for me."

 

[Traveller12724]

i feel like i have so so much to say to every person in my life. its overwhelming. i know I don't want to go without a note but the idea of even starting to write one is so daunting

most things i have to say are anger at the world. but i suppose ill take those to the grave with me. i want my friends, family and bf to know i love them and i desperately want them to understand that ctb is a rational choice i made. but i fear nothing i say will make them understand

The best suicide letter I have ever seen is the one from that flight attendant, I am gonna write a similar one as well, it goes as follows :

"As I take my final breaths and exit this living earth, I would like to apologize to everyone I let down. I am so sorry I could not be better.
To those that I love, I am sorry I could not be stronger.
To those that gave me their everything, I am sorry your effort was not reciprocated.
Please understand that me leaving is not a reflection of you, but the result of my own inability to turn myself for the better.
To ashley, cynthia, regine and sophie, I am so sorry. Please remember me for the good memories we have shared and never for my downfall.
I will see you all again on the other side. "