Discussion What do you want your final thoughts to be about?

[Cosmiq]

Also, what do you think they'll actually be about?

I want my final thoughts to be about someone I love, just a good memory in general with any person I love.

I feel like an actuality it'll be something stupid, like a random scene from SpongeBob Squarepants and then my last world would be "Fuck"

 

[ugly_loser2008]

More than likely my last thoughts would be directed to myself i've been practicing and found that "die loser, die loser die you asswipe, fucking die" has been going through my head.

 

[serah]

Not sure what I would want my last thoughts to be, just as long as it's not regret or second thoughts that'd suck.

 

[BeeLoyal]

I think my final thoughts would be about regretting doing this, or anxiety thoughts. Maybe my family, maybe shit I've gone through.
Or, I won't think anything because I am too sedated (if I am)

What I'd wish them to be... probably about a paradise or something.

 

[BPD Barbie]

As long as its not regret, I don't mind. Hopefully I can find my happy place, think of my grandparents maybe and just drift off to be with them.

 

[Tintypographer]

I would hope that I feel peace. Like a serenity associated with the anticipation of some great comfort coming my way. Imagine if you have a celebration, say you won the 100 meter dash and beat Usain bolt in the Olympics and you were lining up to get the medal and Laurel and the anthem sung in front of millions of people. That it's already set that you're the winner, not like you're waiting to see if you've won but you already know, this is the recognition. I know I've made my choice and it was mine and I'm going to die and whatever comes next is something that I own that no bully or bureaucracy or marketer or social norms or expectation can take away. That is the peace I am looking for. I finally own the outcome without a chance and it's locked in and set. Nobody can email and say "your application was denied because of form 32b" or "we are experiencing technical difficulties" or anything like that. No laws or rules or mean people can take away the choice. And I want to feel good about that without anything present but confidence.

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

I would simply try to stay quiet and slow down my heartbeat, I'm sure it will be terribly fast. I would try to think that I just need to have some rest, fall asleep and this will heal me from everything that has oppressed me.

 

[Borabora]

My thoughts would be to express gratitude to God for all the experiences in my life. Other thoughts would be to ask for forgiveness from everyone I may have trespassed against and forgive those who trespassed against me. I would ask God to only live in Heaven/Paradise; not to reincarnate. Then, hold good & loving thoughts of those people I love & imagine that I am once again sleeping on the beach in Hawai'i.

 

[Slow85]

I hope they are not regret or changing my mind that this was wrong and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't want that - I can imagine it would be awful
I hope I will be too sedated and it will be quick enough that I won't have time to think - or is that wishful thinking ?

 

[GoBack]

I don't want any thoughts

 

[Arrow]

when i die man hope i'm not thinking about much of anything, really. i just wanna be relaxed.

 

[Bct]

Perhaps the actual would be different, but for now it's about how glad I am going to be relieved from my sufferings

 

[SpareWheel]

I'd have said nice memories but I fear that could provoke doubts and see me aborting. I think I'll just put on a favourite album and stick my headphones on full blast, drown out thoughts trying to pick out every note of every instrument.

Either that or put Agadoo on repeat, that'd send anyone over the edge. And if you're lucky enough to not know whay Agadoo sounds like, for the love of all things please don't look it up. Once heard it's never forgotten.

 

[Skylight]

Hopefully something peaceful. Doesn't necessarily have to be a happy thought, though that would be nice, but as long as I'm not panicked, filled with regret, sadness, or anger I think any other thoughts would be nice.

 

[SipSop]

At my last and only attempt till now I was tripping a little from the meds that I took and I laughed a little bit as I've seen images on the near by wall as I was sitting in the car waiting to run out o air. I enjoyed the trip and I hoped to not get back.

 

[niloc]

I've actually had a few instances where I thought about it. The 3 times I've been out to do it before were me sitting out watching the sun set. I try to think of nothing outside of the willpower to pull the trigger. I've been close, but somehow I simply can't. Each time, once I get frustrated in my failure, I immediately unload and take the bullet out of the chamber/drop the magazine and keep it the bullet on my desk as a reminder.

 

[rebelsue]

This made me cry. I'd probably think about everything that could have been. That's all I think about everyday anyway. What potential I had that was never realized. I feel cheated and lost. I'll never be loved or accepted and safe. I deserve to...i never did anything really wrong. Just a lot of mistakes. Nothing ever with bad intentions. I'm a failure. I wish I could start over knowing what I know now. It's not possible obviously. I think I'll just continue mourning the person I never became...

 

[Pan]

The art I never made; the m.f.a.i never got.

 

[Despondent]

Hopefully (I would like) for my last thought to be about the accomplishments I've had.

I don't think that'll be my final thought though.. probably about how much of a failure I am

 

[Blue Portal]

Also, what do you think they'll actually be about?

I want my final thoughts to be about someone I love, just a good memory in general with any person I love.

I feel like an actuality it'll be something stupid, like a random scene from SpongeBob Squarepants and then my last world would be "Fuck"

My last words will be - "there's no place like home" lol no but seriously I'll be something like - "higher self now!"

 

[LastRide]

I think maybe just before I pull the trigger it's definitely not a good time to have any thoughts...I'd rather get myself into a state of total detachment from the world, feel the excitement to take that bullet now, and then be free of any thoughts forever ! Too much thinking has fucked up my life totally, I'd rather just concentrate on feeling my last emotions, listen to my inner voice that guides me in my choice to kill myself and says 'this is the right thing for you to do".