N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,169
I was like that before my first mental breakdown. But I could not hide my pain and suicidality afterwards anymore. They did not punish me for it. The day clinic was pretty good to that time.

The woman I am dating barely opens up herself which makes it difficult for me. But it is good in the sense that she barely asks personal questions. And I have to hide that I am a mental wreck, will never be able to work and consider to kill myself (sooner or later). I wish we could be fully transparent to each other but she does not want that.

We have different definitions of what personal questions mean. I imagine such a life pretty lonely and sad. I wonder whether she opens up online in an anonymous way but I strongly doubt it. But I think it is very hard for her to open up for her standards. And I appreciate her attempt to open up. It must be pretty hard for her.

Many people on here say it is their only asylum to open up. I had the luck to make good (but also bad tbh) experiences to open up to professionals. I think it was worth it.

I imagine there are many people who don't share their thoughts and emotions to others in real life. I heard there were friends who betrayed them. They left them after suicide attempts which is simply disgusting. I have extremely good friends and I know this is a very high privilge. I also try to avoid suicide for them. One close friend does not want explicit information on my suicidality. One friends does not want to hear sexual details. And one friend is open to ANYTHING and he also tells me a lot. I think my case is rather unusual.

What about you? Can only be fully honest online? Do you feel lonely because in real life noone knows the truth? I felt better after sharing my pain.
 
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GuessWhosBack

GuessWhosBack

The sun rises to insult me.
Jul 15, 2024
466
What about you? Can only be fully honest online? Do you feel lonely because in real life noone knows the truth? I felt better after sharing my pain.
I would only dare be honest here.
 
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sugarb

sugarb

thief of silent dreams
Jun 14, 2024
798
Being completely honest about how I feel IRL would be incredibly stupid, would throw everything out of wack
So no I have a complete mask on irl
Online I'm still wearing the mask, except here.
 
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Downdraft

Downdraft

I've felt better ngl
Feb 6, 2024
735
I get it. There are really vicious and treacherous people out there so if you can hold them then why not? If you don't feel a strong need to talk to anyone it's always a bad idea to add attack vectors, bad real life opsec.
 
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genoke

genoke

Member
Aug 13, 2024
78
Pretending to be strong even when you aren't is sadly how you maintain a relationship or have friends, longterm. It feels like friends consider me/ us as an investment. If they don't think that energy will pay off, or they will get their heart broken through suicide. I guess it's hard to blame them for leaving. Cuz life is hard for everyone.

Showing weakness you'll lose everyone in your life eventually. You have to try to hide if if you can. Cuz everyone has problems and most people are selfish. Women want a strong man. In that situation be like tony soprano and hire a therapist dont tell youre wife about youre anxiety attacks and inability to cope. Women want a strong man.

And I know what it's like to date a woman being 100% suicidal and I was honest about it and ended the relationship I didn't want to shatter her cuz she was already damaged from a really bad previous relationship and I was ready to go at any time.

Sometimes it's better to be selfish and just keep lying so you keep your friends, and you make their lives better and not worse. I also think talking about suicide brings up legality most law abiding people don't want to be associated with. Also some truly hate suicide like people in WY where it's common. They despise the notion of it, and I have a friend who said he'll piss on my unmarked grave if I killed myself, and not in a supportive way.
 
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aipuweth

aipuweth

a loser to and fro
Aug 17, 2024
61
Like the other guys said, I can be a little bit more comfortable here. Because people here more like me than anywhere else. Normally, I can't talk to anyone because if I would, they'd absolutely think that I am a weird loner loser. I mean, okay I get it, I'm a loser. But.. I don't know. God, I hate people so much.
 
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banger12

banger12

Former nerd; current burden
Aug 1, 2024
194
Honestly I think more power to the people who are less vulnerable with others. Less out there to be used to hurt them.

Tbh I crave having a shoulder to cry on (metaphorically because unfortunatelyits very hard for me to cry no matter how much i want ir need to), which is something that will never truly be there. I've opened myself up to others in the past and that's been a mistake.

Nowadays here is the only place I can tell the full truth.
I get it. There are really vicious and treacherous people out there so if you can hold them then why not? If you don't feel a strong need to talk to anyone it's always a bad idea to add attack vectors, bad real life opsec.
Agreed. It really is better not to give people that power over you. I've been hurt by so many "friends" and even family.
Being completely honest about how I feel IRL would be incredibly stupid, would throw everything out of wack
So no I have a complete mask on irl
Online I'm still wearing the mask, except here.
Yeah. We all know what the standard punishments are for that level of honesty. It's weird how the things that are supposed to "help" discourage people from opening up and silence them instead.
 
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BecomingTired

BecomingTired

Lov3rBoy<3
Feb 23, 2024
107
I was like that before my first mental breakdown. But I could not hide my pain and suicidality afterwards anymore. They did not punish me for it. The day clinic was pretty good to that time.

The woman I am dating barely opens up herself which makes it difficult for me. But it is good in the sense that she barely asks personal questions. And I have to hide that I am a mental wreck, will never be able to work and consider to kill myself (sooner or later). I wish we could be fully transparent to each other but she does not want that.

We have different definitions of what personal questions mean. I imagine such a life pretty lonely and sad. I wonder whether she opens up online in an anonymous way but I strongly doubt it. But I think it is very hard for her to open up for her standards. And I appreciate her attempt to open up. It must be pretty hard for her.

Many people on here say it is their only asylum to open up. I had the luck to make good (but also bad tbh) experiences to open up to professionals. I think it was worth it.

I imagine there are many people who don't share their thoughts and emotions to others in real life. I heard there were friends who betrayed them. They left them after suicide attempts which is simply disgusting. I have extremely good friends and I know this is a very high privilge. I also try to avoid suicide for them. One close friend does not want explicit information on my suicidality. One friends does not want to hear sexual details. And one friend is open to ANYTHING and he also tells me a lot. I think my case is rather unusual.

What about you? Can only be fully honest online? Do you feel lonely because in real life noone knows the truth? I felt better after sharing my pain.
I do constantly feel lonely but I genuinely mean it when I say no-one irl or online truly gives a shit about how I feel, so I'd rather pretend to be enthusiastic and fake-complain about minor stuff than being truthful. Basically any "friend" I had irl was built on a fake persona I formed over time and online I just can't bring myself to.

It's only different on sasu because it's easier to talk to strangers who understand for me. 🫠
Like the other guys said, I can be a little bit more comfortable here. Because people here more like me than anywhere else. Normally, I can't talk to anyone because if I would, they'd absolutely think that I am a weird loner loser. I mean, okay I get it, I'm a loser. But.. I don't know. God, I hate people so much.
Exactly my thoughts
 
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Steff1337

Steff1337

Autistic and schizophrenic, please be respectful
Jun 21, 2024
659
I actually value those people, and wish I was one of the, but unfortunately, I'm not.
 
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wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
455
When I had friends I defiantly was a chronic oversharer but all my friends were like that as well and oversharing was almost always rewarded by them but I know that there many people who don't feel the need to overshare because they just feel secure in their own right and can maneuver in life without depending on others which I admire.
 
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peaceandlove

peaceandlove

Unwitting
Aug 31, 2024
32
When I had friends I defiantly was a chronic oversharer but all my friends were like that as well and oversharing was almost always rewarded by them but I know that there many people who don't feel the need to overshare because they just feel secure in their own right and can maneuver in life without depending on others which I admire.
A person can be both of those things, too, can't we?
 
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