Well, maybe I could butt in with a few suggestions. Certain subjects in philosophy which currently appeal to me are: eliminativism, panpsychism, the hard problem of consciousness, and solipsism.
I always fumble when I try to explain my understanding of any of these, and I'm a little lazy on my reading and research, but look into them if you're interested in approaching life from the "inwards" model (consciousness) rather than the "outwards" model (the universe, physicalism, matter/objects/laws of physics). I like to think that the universe and the mind are different approaches which apply as preferences to people when it comes to understanding existence and what to believe. You don't have to acknowledge that either exist. The universe and consciousness don't need to exist as far as I'm concerned, and as a skeptic by default I don't just assume an inherent truth in either. Some people are introverts, some are extroverts, and I think that analogy applies to the inner/outer existence idea I explained.
I suggest that the meaning or purpose of your existence is up to you. Start with solipsism. All you know and all you experience is your own life from your own perception. All information you receive from outside of yourself is only exactly the way it is within your own experience. Whoever other people are, whatever other stuff is, might as well be completely different from how you perceive and understand it. Your experience of everything you see and all you are aware of and the information you have learned in considering yourself and your place in the world, is unique to you and separate from the "truth" of any entity that could have its own separate free will and experiences you are not aware of and do not know about. When a tree falls in the forest and you are not around to hear it, it does not make a sound, because if you are not in the forest, it does not even exist, according to your first hand experience. It can only exist indirectly as a memory or recall of information you've learned about forests, in general or of a particular one you've been in. When you're best friend isn't in the room with you, he doesn't exist. That kind of thing is how I understand solipsism in a nutshell. There's only you, because you are all you can be aware of and experience. "Existence" and "Everything" as you know it are just defined by you.
Anyway, I know this is a lot of stuff coming out of me and it's not a simple answer to your question in any way. I like to think that nothing is in any way the way it seems. I would at least like, personally, for everything to be completely different. Forget all color deriving from light, black/white, or blue/yellow/red (or brown). How about "Wux"? That's a new color. Doesn't have anything to do with the others. Let's live in a world with that. Maybe Wux would make me a completely different person (which sometimes, when it comes to enjoying life or having hope that I will be happy and free and fearless, I think is what it would take - not being me in any way; very fatalistic and I ought not indulge the idea...)
I veered away from science and materialism because I thought it was causing me depression and a hopeless, pessimist attitude. To me it was slavery. The laws of physics and the universe being set to behave only a certain way, like an inherent principle to existence not at all subject to compromise, is the only way things can be. It's one program, forever and ever. Objects in motion doing the only thing they can do - obey "God's" law. And why would God create that way, and only that way? Because there is no other way? There can not be nothingness or chaos? They are inconceivable because surely with mathematics and physics, all can be calculated, whatever we consider "chaos" is only beyond our current calculations, because numbers and systems are massively complex and beyond our collective efforts so far. But it's all predictable. Before the big bang, there was dark matter, no? I'm a total noob at dark matter, but isn't it about learning what properties constitute empty space? If empty space was all there was before the Big Bang I guess.
Being all about myself, my awareness and my experience (I'm not going to Mars, Andromeda, or Saturn anytime soon, so I don't really care about learning about them), I like to learn about consciousness, and how it all comes together, is generated, and experienced by "me", seemingly a single entity. Do each of my cells experience consciousness at a sort of sub-level? Why do I seem to experience myself as "the captain" or the one in the driver's seat, with my "free will" and all, making all of my decisions? (See determinism if your skeptical about free will). The unity of the self can be baffling too. Physically, it's something like, every 7 years, every cell in your body has completely replaced itself and so you are not made of any exact material you were 7 years prior. Does that make you a different person? (I don't know if it's 7 for sure.)
Well, there's plenty to unpack here, and I know it's way more than a nutshell, but that's sort of my opening statement of what I've come to terms with, thinking all my thoughts and experiencing myself over the last several years. My main advice to you would be: Forget the universe. Forget science (unless you're into it and it suits you). Just do you. Focus on how you feel. What are your emotions? Don't give too much credit to logic, common sense or psychology studies. How you experience and choose to be you is more important than what any research indicates. Listen to your heart and love yourself.
