Discussion What do you regret the most about your past decisions ?

[Painless_end]

Which decision do you regret the most about your past and how could you have done it differently

 

[noname223]

Tbh there is not much I regret deeply. I was born from the wrong parents. Got mistreated, my mom fed till I was severly obesed. Due to that I was bullied in school.
Maybe I should have given up way earlier, not listend to one of my therapists who told me to go on with college despite mania. Ironically I am in a similar situation currently. Not sure if I can jump off the train before it explodes. Might become one of my biggest regrets. However I was dealt a very bad hand in life. I should not blame myself too much. Other people have screwed me up way more. There was no choice from me which could have prevented this mess.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

The only regret I have is not killing myself sooner. The longer you wait the harder it becomes.

 

[Itsallover123]

Not much. It's not my fault I got shit parents. I tried my best, but life is not for me.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Not much. It's not my fault I got shit parents. I tried my best, but life is not for me.

I hate how society always sides with the parents by default. Even if they are horrible people. I am not sure why I am supposed to be grateful for a shitty life I never even asked for. Life isn't for everybody. Not all lives are worth living. There is no shame in calling it quits early. Either way death is coming eventually.

 

[ClownMe]

Not killing myself in my teenage years.

 

[motel rooms]

I did what I had to do.

 

[willitpass]

i did some AWFUL things when i was mentally ill last year. i became extremely manipulative and would lie about terrible things and i still can't tell you why i decided to do it. everyone seems to have forgotten and moved on, but it still haunts me to this day that i lied about something so terrible

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I could regret being born, but that was not my choice. I'm not sure I regret much, but like the others on this thread I wish I ctb at an earlier age as it would have prevented years of suffering. But apart from that I see everything as out of my control, what happened in the past was determined by chance and luck. Sometimes I thought my actions were for the best at the time. I believe that changing a past decision would have little impact the way I view life, no matter what I would still want to die.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Not killing myself in my teenage years.

Over the years I had some good opportunities to ctb but ultimately failed to capitalize on them. Doing it in my teenage years when I was impulsive would have been the best option. I hope my next attempt is successful.

 

[nerve]

I know it's not my fault and everything, but if I'd made different decisions, I probably wouldn't have been sexually abused when I was a kid. Or at least not as much. I was sort of bribed and blackmailed into it and I will always wonder what kind of person I could have been if I'd dealt with that situation differently.

 

[Belljar]

Letting people treat me like garbage for decades. I accepted the worst emotional verbal sexual abuse and exploitation. For what? To not be so alone? What happened is it drove me insane and ruined my life. Whereas the people who did it have all moved on and have normal lives. They don't even think of the girl they dragged through hell who is going to end her life.

 

[Ashu]

The longer you wait the harder it becomes.

Yes. Why do you suppose that is?

I did what I had to do.

This is where I am too, at this point. It can't be a coincidence that were both older.

Which decision do you regret the most about your past and how could you have done it differently

Speaking of that later phase of my life in which something like choice was possible, I regret going to university. All the worst disasters in my subsequent life flowed from that error.

 

[Circles]

Working at FedEx. Not being more motivated. Quitting community college. Not taking more risks in regards with everything I suppose like dating or trying new things outside my comfort zone. I wish I didn't learn about pessimistic philosophy honestly cause it just reinforced my beliefs in a way. Probably take depression meds like I should've done. So much more.

 

[LoveAndMonsters]

Tbh there is not much I regret deeply. I was born from the wrong parents. Got mistreated, my mom fed till I was severly obesed. Due to that I was bullied in school.
Maybe I should have given up way earlier, not listend to one of my therapists who told me to go on with college despite mania. Ironically I am in a similar situation currently. Not sure if I can jump off the train before it explodes. Might become one of my biggest regrets. However I was dealt a very bad hand in life. I should not blame myself too much. Other people have screwed me up way more. There was no choice from me which could have prevented this mess.

Ahh same here. Completely dysfunctional family on both sides. Amalgamation of inherited health problems from my parents. Under no circumstances was that a fit environment to raise a child...

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Huh. OH boy. Firstly I wish I was just never born. I never liked myself since childhood. However, in my teens the things I would have done.

Drop out of high school and attempt
To CTB
Never have sex EVER as I'm not an attractive woman. Stop being naive and delusional and accept the truth that ill
Suffer painfully until natural death or CTB in teens.
Don't make friends out of desperation. I made huge mistakes hanging around emotional abusers that didn't want me around that exploited my kindness

Stay away from alcohol and antidepressants if I was to stay alive rot at home until 30 and CTB. It was over before it begun

 

[SoDead]

I regret not buying cryptocurrencies when they were cheap. I do not believe there will ever be another chance like this for me.
Now I have no escape from doing the job I hate and living in the country I hate, except death.

 

[Endoflifecomestoall]

Been a few in the last 4 years.
Feel like I have thrown my life to serendipity to solve them but digging myself in deeper

 

[Beeper]

The biggest regrets that I have are associated with my decisions and behavior when I was manic.

I truly regret not seeking mental health care when I was younger.

I feel that I kicked the can and procrastinated regarding things that I needed to do to support mental wellness.

I know that my genetics make me susceptible to mental health disorders, but it was never really treated as a priority.

I self-medicated with cannabis and alcohol. While these made me feel better in the short term, they created an unsustainable lifestyle and eventually worsened my mental health.

Life without mental wellness is a brutal existence.

 

[apathetic.]

Well I regret being born into this family, having these parents.
Another big thing I regret is not cbting when things started going south in my early teen years. I had tons of opportunities to cbt back then.

One thing I've learnt is that, it never gets better, most often. Not worth the wait and seeing if things improve. They only get worse as you grow older and older.

Not much. It's not my fault I got shit parents. I tried my best, but life is not for me.

Same here friend. It was over from the start.

 

[Ch92921]

All aborted suicide attemps.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

that i acted in a way that was below me.

 

[Elegy]

My biggest life regret is, hurting people I loved. People who loved me. I hurt them. Mind you, that is not to suggest, they did not hurt me too. They damn sure did. I very rarely hurt people who did not hurt me first. Be that as it may, it hurts me, to hurt people I love. Even if they deserve it.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Every man I been with which should
Have never happened. I can't believe I was so naive and gave my body away so easily, why was I so naive and unaware of how powerful the act of sex is? Smh I wouldn't feel so horrible if these incidents never happened
If I knew of CTB as a teen and not just depression I would have actively planned correctly and possibly been gone by now. Got a good job to get enough to get out of here correctly with multiple attempts by age 30

 

[Wrennie]

So many things. Too many to list. But mainly that after hitting the ground I was still "present", and that sole realization was more hard-hitting than the rock-solid earth that shattered my bones, in addition to the accompanying screams & the approaching sound of sirens in the distance.

 

[cececo]

I regret that things didn't work in high school as I wanted them to since I've basically been living on auto-pilot since and just going through the motions for others, not myself. If I had died back then I wouldn't have to go through all the troubles of finding ways to die now.
My next biggest regret is admitting to someone I loved her to end up being ditched. I would give my life to mean something to her still. Though I'd give my life for a lot of things since I just don't want it haha but it messed me up so much to have made progress to the point I could actually admit to myself that I felt genuine love and then open myself up to expressing it to who I felt it for, to be left behind even though she said it was reciprocated. I regret not having her in my life right now even if I wasn't the one who left back then.

 

[elfin]

the way i treated my boyfriend before he died. i was such a bitch to him and he didn't deserve any of it, i feel so horrifically guilty.

 

[hatedanddestroyed]

Just wish I was never born

 

[fullofregrets]

Scrubbing my severe acne without knowing the permanent damage it was going to cause. Self sabotaging for 5 years because of social anxiety and hopelessness. It all started with the issues and I feel like I'm not wholly responsible for my ctb although I do feel guilty for how I did certain things the wrong way.

 

[callme]

Had a falling out with a homosexual friend I'm never going to recover or ever see again