...of an immediate relative who completely understands your desire to cbt? Even supports it. With hindsight, I'm finding it 'disconcerting'. Not one objection was put foward.
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Whale_bones
A gift to summon the spring
- Feb 11, 2020
- 415
It depends on a lot of things, such as how you approached the conversation, your relationship with the person and their own experiences. I've talked with someone who didn't put forth objections because they know my life history, they know I already went through decades of treatment and that I have a permanent progressive disease, and they were truly trying to think through my situation, rather than just state platitudes or raise objections like we are societally trained to do.
Another possibility is the person you spoke to may be familiar with thoughts of death themselves. But even if they aren't, some people have thought about the right to die and intentionally formed a thoughtful opinion about it.
Most people haven't, so it can be surprising when you come upon someone who has. If the conversation seemed genuine, and they were expressing their reasons for agreeing with you, I wouldn't assume bad intentions (unless your relationship with or knowledge of this person gives you reason to think that).
It might (make me assume bad intentions) unfortunately. The conversation also involved (again) where I've got a CONSIDERABLE amount of monies hidden in the house, and she's "already" decided (no less) to send her husband down afterwards to sort that out.Last edited:
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
As a paranoid person (possibly PPD), who can't trust even the ones I love.
I can imagine the internal conflict, you have my sympathies.Last edited:Could you give us more details about the conversation? More context will be helpful.
I agree that it sounds like they have bad intentions, if she is going to send her husband to collect money. I wouldn't trust her.
I've had a friend tell me that they respect and support my decision, but this is coming from someone who also struggled with depression/suicidal thoughts.
Whale_bones
A gift to summon the spring
- Feb 11, 2020
- 415
That throws up a big red flag for me. The person I talked to said they understood, but of course hoped I'd be here as long as possible since they enjoy our friendship. This particular person sounds like she might be focused on what she could personally gain, rather than your autonomy and what's right for you (which is a downright nasty way to think). You're completely justified in feeling uncomfortable, and if she brings it up again you can divert the conversation or say it's no longer applicable.
I'm also factoring in that when my/her mother was recently ill and subsequently dying in hospital (for 8 weeks) she didn't visit once because 1) She had a bad knee which she's now gone on a continental holiday with shortly after 2) and didn't want to remember her mother that way - who does but you still visit dont you? And 3) she wanted to move on with her life - seemingly before our mum died.Last edited:
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
Hmmm. I like to look for the best in someone. For the life of me I can't see one (or any) here.
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
I think deep down, we're all selfish in a sense. Even the best among us.
We try our best to hide our shadows or pretend it doesn't exist, but doesn't mean it isn't there.
But let me also say, I as a paranoid person, for sure created a lot of unreal stories in my head.
It's only unfair you have to feel this way. Being the reality or not.
Ways you could approach this.
Confrontation or observation.
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
If you have time, may be some observation at first, before resorting to confrontation.
My suggestion, a therapist will possibly have the tools to help you navigating on how to act on it.
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
My sister operated in 'Victim mode' a lot with an avoidance type personality. Expecting her to see my point of view would almost certainly prove fruitless.
The victim mode comes from when I take her to task on the above (the mother stuff) her reaction is to 1. Say I'm being horrible and I'm undermining her wellbing and 2. Say she wants to go "no contact" and block me.Last edited:
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
We can't only be so compassionate in life.
Before being compassionate with others we must compassionate to ourselves.
I don't know AvPD nor it's symptoms so more opinions would be needed if I was in your place.
But if I had lived with this person through my life, I would probably have an opinion at this point.
Sorry, can't judge what I'm not familiar with.
That's ok and thank you for your input. I do (have an opinion). I was hoping someone would tell me I had the wrong one though.
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
If was a normal person without any mental conditions
I would have suggested to give it all to charity to be honest.
But wasn't expecting her diagnosis.
platypus77
The roof is on fire!
- Dec 11, 2024
- 231
If it's an option, there's no shame to spent it to last penny. After all you've earned it.Similar threads
