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ExtraordinaryDefeat_

ExtraordinaryDefeat_

Member
Apr 3, 2021
54
Is it the fear of abandoning your family? A sole fear of death itself? Or perhaps something else?
 
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D

deathisnear

Experienced
May 23, 2021
284
The only reason I am still here is so I don't hurt a handful of people. I'm not scared of death, I embrace it and lookforward to it. I don't even fear abandoning the people I'm staying for, I fear their reaction when I do it and the pain they will endure. I hate staying for other people, it's torture.
 
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FindingTheEnd

FindingTheEnd

Member
Jun 8, 2022
22
Well i'm just fearing the actual process being painful. That's pretty much all of what's holding me back
 
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ExtraordinaryDefeat_

ExtraordinaryDefeat_

Member
Apr 3, 2021
54
For me it's mostly the fear of my suicide shattering my family completely. My father is an alcoholic and he'll probably drink even more than before after I die
 
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waiting4thenextbus

waiting4thenextbus

Lost
May 30, 2022
66
For me it's the small chance of failure. Things would be so much worse if my attempt fails (I'll probably be deemed homeless, or have much less freedom, psych ward maybe, judgmental and selfish family etc)

FUCK MY LIFE! LITERALLY! Can't goddamn wait to leave.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,275
The thing that I fear is the method failing and ending up with damage. The thought of that happening is so horrifying. The main thing that is holding me back from ctb is the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit, I have limited access to methods personally. It hurts me how it is so difficult to leave, suicide really should be easier, after all none of us asked for this horrible life in the the first place.

It is cruel for the society to deny people ways to ctb. Death is all that I want and the thought of no longer existing comforts me. There is nothing here for me in this world. I just wish that it is easier to get there.
 
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ExtraordinaryDefeat_

ExtraordinaryDefeat_

Member
Apr 3, 2021
54
The thing that I fear is the method failing and ending up with damage. The thought of that happening is so horrifying. The main thing that is holding me back from ctb is the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit, I have limited access to methods personally. It hurts me how it is so difficult to leave, suicide really should be easier, after all none of us asked for this horrible life in the the first place.

It is cruel for the society to deny people ways to ctb. Death is all that I want and the thought of no longer existing comforts me. There is nothing here for me in this world. I just wish that it is easier to get there.
Do you think it would be easier for you to leave with a suicide partner? What are your opinions about this? Would this sort of "support" help you overcome your fears of failure?
 
L

la fin de tout

Member
Jun 8, 2022
27
If I CTB without making it look like an accident my family and friends wouldn't understand, and in turn blame each other or possibly my ex. Making it look like an auto accident could endanger innocent people, idk if it's fear, but I have to plan it out better.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,275
Do you think it would be easier for you to leave with a suicide partner? What are your opinions about this? Would this sort of "support" help you overcome your fears of failure?
No, I want to die alone far away from any people unless the option of euthanasia is available for me. I think that having someone else there would make everything more difficult for me. I personally do not see suicide partners as being a good thing.
 
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ExtraordinaryDefeat_

ExtraordinaryDefeat_

Member
Apr 3, 2021
54
No, I want to die alone far away from any people unless the option of euthanasia is available for me. I think that having someone else there would make everything more difficult for me. I personally do not see suicide partners as being a good thing.
What do you think about suicide partners then?
 
L

Lost

Member
Apr 18, 2018
88
The change of failure.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,275
What do you think about suicide partners then?
To me it sounds complicated and risky, like if one person decides to back out last minute. I think that it is for the best that suicide is done alone, apart from euthanasia which I already mentioned.
 
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S

Snatsbats

Student
Jan 9, 2021
182
I fear chickening out due to Survival instinct. Im 23 and im doing okay, people overall think im a likable person. If i chickened out that would mean that people will know i suicided. From then on i will be the crazy guy of town. If i go i need to be 100% sure i will go through with it. How that is possible? I still havent found out.

Maybe in the future if people start to see what a loser i actually am i have nothing to lose socially anymore and it doesnt matter if im a loser or a loser who is also suicidal
 
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A

anxious_depressive

I'm in despair
Dec 21, 2021
240
I'm afraid of physical pain and a failed attempt.

I'm also afraid that there is an afterlife/hell. (((
 
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O

outatime_85

Warlock
May 17, 2022
789
I don't really care about failing anymore or failing at death, as that is all I have done my entire life is fail.

So what's one more failure

There is one person who may or may not care, but in the grand scheme of things, I don't count them.

Should the day come when I get tired of pushing my chips forward, the rest of my family will not blink an eye, shed a tear, etc.

The following day, it would be business as usual for all of them.

All that said, I live every day with the Hellhounds (demons) that have been chasing and plaguing me for a very long time, and it will end for me in one of two ways: either they will win, or I will find a way to turn my life around and live on my terms.
 
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A

Alex6216

Mage
Apr 19, 2022
539
Pain and the super natural, by this I mean something like Hell or having a demon staring shortly before dying.
 
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BasqueClown

BasqueClown

Zirkua ata heriotza
Jun 9, 2022
121
One reason: stereotype
Suicide rate in LGBT community is more shout out because of conservatives who disapproves our way to live and love
To my family I'm the lesbian crazy deranged woman like my mother (Dad told me horrendous things about my mother's family who consider her a schizo or something)
So yeah the lesbian one who in theory will be a good sabbatical school teacher married with any stinky man of the congregation has chosen sin and give middle finger to god when church treated her "wonderful, you were very loved" fuck off
So immediately after my suicide I'll give the reason to that people that the devil took control of my mind instead of praying a lot and ask for God for guidance and stuff
Then devil told her to kill herself...
So, what's the point of living if in any case I will be doomed by most of my family, but at the same case I l will be another number to LGBT suicide statistics?
Fuck I'm trying to resist but it's hard to me
 
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A

Anonymus

Enlightened
May 6, 2022
1,355
What scares me the most is that I am wrong and that there is life after death, just the thought of living eternally in continuous suffering makes me shudder.
I have long thought that if this assumption were real there should be a way to destroy yourself completely, lest one of the best known religions is right and I would be reincarnated, become a ghost or go to some place like a paradise... living a thousand more lives like the current one would be much worse than considering a "simple" suicide.

//

El que mes por em fa es que estigui equivocat i hi hagi vida després de la mort, només pensar en viure eternament en continu patiment se m'esgarrifen les entranyes.
Fa temps que penso que si aquest supòsit fos real hi hauria d'haver una manera de destruïr-te a tu mateix de manera complerta, no vagi a ser que alguna de les religions més conegudes estigui del cert i et doni per reencarnar-te, convertir-te en un fantasma o anar cap algún lloc semblant a un paradís... viure mil vides mes com l'actual sería molt pitjor que plantejar-te un simple suïcidi.
 
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O

ornitier199

Arcanist
Mar 26, 2022
413
Nothing, I have nothing. But before, it was FK and Ryan. I will not lie, you don't k
 
Lost in a Dream

Lost in a Dream

He/him - Metal head
Feb 22, 2020
1,816
Is it the fear of abandoning your family?

This one definitely. I'm also afraid that I'll still exist somehow after I'm dead, whether I'm reincarnated or stuck in some afterlife (good or bad), and that is the last thing I want. I'm also afraid of what I might feel in the process of dying. I'm afraid that there might be more physical pain than I expected, and if the SI kicked in when it was too late to back out, I might panic.
 
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W

whocareswhatever

Member
May 1, 2022
21
I don't care about anyone anymore, fuck family and friends, my cat is adopted and my biggest fear is a failure. I don't want to survive and live like some vegetable in years. I am broke and homeless in Russia. This scares me most, some mental hospital and sickness after fail in institution without chance to try again
 
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Lifeless mindset

Lifeless mindset

See you on the other side
Oct 20, 2020
308
The only fear I have is missing out on any potential happiness I can get out of life. I'm not in any rush to end things as I am young and have a whole lifetime ahead of me and will eventually die anyways. I'm just taking things one day at a time and if something comes my way that truly prevents me from continuing to live then I will do what I need to do to no longer exist.
 
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L

lucy101

New Member
May 20, 2022
4
I have two fears. I'm afraid of missing out in life, I cant help but imagine a better life eventually coming for me and me ending it before I get to experience happiness on earth. I do have quite a few things going for me so it's sad to think I won't be around to see them manifest. But then again, a person can only wait for so long you knew? As the years pass, my faith dwindles. Secondly, failing. I'd be absolutely gutted if I woke up and I was in a hospital bed. Having to explain that to my family would be quite something lmao.
 
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redeyepiranha

redeyepiranha

Member
Jun 22, 2022
87
I'm afraid of possibility of reincarnation, though it's unlikely, I just hate how people talk about it. Also afraid of abandoning my family, still love them, but life is getting harder.
 
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K

Klophy

Lost...
Jun 28, 2022
197
For me it's mostly a fear of failing, hurting family, missing out on happiness and the afterlife just the general uncertainity of what comes afterwards. Other things like shame play a big part too.
 
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B

bananacrackers

Member
Apr 28, 2022
21
If I CTB without making it look like an accident my family and friends wouldn't understand, and in turn blame each other or possibly my ex. Making it look like an auto accident could endanger innocent people, idk if it's fear, but I have to plan it out better.
I am in the same situation. I worry about the psychological impact on my kids, and I envision a high risk of a lot of strife and fingerpointing among my brother, mom and husband that would make the situation even worse for my kids. So I'm committed to finding a route that looks like a natural death.
 
RacShade

RacShade

Changing Man(?)
Mar 15, 2022
6
I know for certain that I want to live but any kind of life worth living is a complete impossibilty for me. I fear death more than anything, I spend the majority of my time thinking about the art and media I love trying to understand the characters better and figuring out the more mysterious aspects of these fictional worlds and the possibility of the simple inability to think is so horrible that It makes me cry.

I have no way to live and no hope for a better life but death is the scariest thing.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,855
I fear waiting too long and not being able to physically carry my plan to fruition. This week I'm going to start acquiring what I need. It makes no sense to wait any longer.
 
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S

splashofvanilla

Member
Jun 29, 2022
43
My main fear is failure that i may not die and end up damaging my body, mind etc and then i am stuck there suffering until i am able to do it correctly.
 

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