Venting What do you do when you want to kill someone else?

[Mira Gaga]

I don't know if it's just me but sometimes I just can't resist my intrusive thoughts. I do something really stupid like getting into a fight or I destroy something, and as a girl who grew up in a very strict Asian family, that used to mean a good whipping. I just can't stop it sometimes. I tried locking myself in the bathroom when someone made me angry but I would just rage. It's like someone lit my skin on fire. That's always the feeling I get when I'm a even a little irritated. Its an itch in my brain, like so-and-so made me mad, then I start obsessing and making up scenarios on how I could hurt/kill them. The worst part is I don't even feel remorseful anymore. I don't know what to do or how to act when I'm angry.

 

[sanctionme93]

One of the shitty parts of life you just have to ignore it and focus on other things. Usually acting on it or trying to harm them just ends up fucking yourself in the end. If you can cut them out of your life as much as possible

 

[Mira Gaga]

I try to like remove myself from whoever/whatever it is but I have homicidal OCD and my mind just spirals and it starts taking over everything. I can't fucking shut my own brain up so I just try to knock myself out with something or watch porn.

 

[Pale_Rider]

My anger can turn on like a switch. I feel a pulse in my head I swear. I windup with headache. My mouth can still become unhinged, but I have control of my body. I am responsible for my actions. It's really more complicated them that, but there it is.

 

[sanctionme93]

I try to like remove myself from whoever/whatever it is but I have homicidal OCD and my mind just spirals and it starts taking over everything. I can't fucking shut my own brain up so I just try to knock myself out with something or watch porn.

I do the same honestly it got quite dark because when I stopped the porn I got crippling depression and emptiness because nothing else gave me joy it's something I still struggle with it's like I'm a hollow husk without it even ruined my marriage.

 

[Mira Gaga]

I hate that I can't control my own anger. I don't like the feeling of being angry. I don't like my skin burning. Its extremely uncomfortable. I tried to fix it with porn but now I'm addicted to porn. WTF does life want from me.

 

[Jadeith]

Not sure if would work in your case but maybe trying some martial arts would help? I got similar problem with "never shutting up" brain, overthinking basically EVERYTHING, including things that never happened, might potentially happen and things that would never happen too, occasional bouts of anger also present. And good 1,5h judo session, twice or thrice a week, preferably with much bigger and stronger opponent so i could go all out - that usually did the trick. Problem is that my current spine and knee problems disqualify me from participating in such "calming experiences" so now these episodes just happen and i have to wait them out.

 

[kopebaldy]

Direct that hatred towards myself lmao.

And if that fails, alcohol.

 

[esfagrregergaegfawe]

I don't know if it's just me but sometimes I just can't resist my intrusive thoughts. I do something really stupid like getting into a fight or I destroy something, and as a girl who grew up in a very strict Asian family, that used to mean a good whipping. I just can't stop it sometimes. I tried locking myself in the bathroom when someone made me angry but I would just rage. It's like someone lit my skin on fire. That's always the feeling I get when I'm a even a little irritated. Its an itch in my brain, like so-and-so made me mad, then I start obsessing and making up scenarios on how I could hurt/kill them. The worst part is I don't even feel remorseful anymore. I don't know what to do or how to act when I'm angry.

I've felt similar, something i like to do if i'm really angry is just get a knife/box cutter and stab my mattress. Causes no harm or damage to anything. Also if things get really bad, just try to take a nap