What do you do in the meantime? Do you give life your all?

[Hope:-)]

What do you guys do durng the meantime? Do you work your ass off at life? I dont. I feel like I'm in limbo. I don't put any effort into life and I put very little effort into suicide. I put more effort into suicide than I do life, but still nowhere near enough. Because I want to die, I literally do nothing at life. I used to try hard, and then I lost everything and sort of just gave up. I don't even do the basics now. Anyone else relate or do you guys still put a lot of effort into life to see if there's any point ?

x

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not see any point to living. All that life is, is just passing the time and distracting ourselves until we finally die. Life has no meaning, purpose or value. It is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it and it is completely unnecessary. I would have been better off never existing.

In my case I fear failing the method and suicide is very difficult for me, so I just endure life as I am scared of ending up in a worse situation after attempting ctb. I just try to pass the time until I fall asleep, always hating living, always wishing I was gone, never feeling well. Putting effort into life leads to nowhere in my opinion. Life is just a struggle all for the sake of it. Even if I could change things about my life it would still feel so empty and wrong, me being here. I always envy those who are gone and I wish that it was me all the time.

 

[Emmie]

What do you guys do durng the meantime? Do you work your ass off at life? I dont. I feel like I'm in limbo. I don't put any effort into life and I put very little effort into suicide. I put more effort into suicide than I do life, but still nowhere near enough. Because I want to die, I literally do nothing at life. I used to try hard, and then I lost everything and sort of just gave up. I don't even do the basics now. Anyone else relate or do you guys still put a lot of effort into life to see if there's any point ?

x

I've been in limbo for years since my last serious CTB attempt. I just live reclusively on benefits, read, and take long walks. I have no interest in life but apparently I'm not quite ready to CTB. I'm thinking about volunteering to pass the time until I can CTB.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Have you ever heard of the phrase "quiet quitting" before? I heard about it for the first time a few days ago, when Youtube recommended me a video about it out of the blue. Basically, it's when you do the bare minimum required of you to not get fired, but you're still employed, and that's basically what I do with everything in life.

It feels like I'm stuck in limbo too. I don't try to get anywhere in life, but I'm kinda preparing to CTB. At the very least, the little bit I actually do to keep busy is enough to prevent people from being suspicious that I'm going to end my life soon, and that's all I need to do.

 

[ewigeruhe]

I just do nothing i leave my apartment maybe once a week and it just stresses me out. I am now unemployed for 6 months and have done nothing else then wasting the time but to be honest i did nothing else when i was still working either. God i hate my existence. At least i feel my health declining a bit each day.

 

[Hollowmon]

I don't try at life anymore, I play video games and watch whatever hour long videos are recommended on youtube to pass the time and distract myself as much as possible from the reality of my situation until I'm able to CTB. Only get dressed or leave the house to attend appointments with my doctor to get meds and the next SSRI for me to discover the non-effectiveness of prescribed.

 

[Lost Magic]

I am actively planning my suicide. I distract myself with reading, watching the occasional movie and show, playing games, browsing the web. You know the usual. I also enjoy drinking Kratom tea and I eating food. Other than that, I am not motivated to do much else.

 

[annique]

when the weekend comes, i drown myself in alcohol and forget for some time how absurd and shitty life is... during the weekdays, i'm always listening to music or watching something... i used to like studying and that distracted myself for a moment, but it doesn't work anymore, my brain is in a dense fog, my thoughts aren't clear anymore

 

[self.destractive]

well, im not living, thats for certain!
i hole myself up in my apartment and play videogames, and i try to draw but cant ever seem to finish anything i start. i used to have a job but i recently got fired coz i missed some days due to fevers, and was late by a couple of minutes. work was the only real structure i had, and arguably the only thing keeping me sane.
i dread sobriety but lack the connections and funds to run away from my own mind, and my room looks like an active crime scene. self harm helps sometimes but its become the dopamine equivalent to a quick wank. ten minutes later and im emotionally back to where i started!

theres some friends online i like to talk to over voice calls, and i guess thats fun but woo nelly, sometimes my mood drops so badly during our calls that i have to abruptly leave.
i feel like a shell of what a human is supposed to be to be honest

 

[outrider567]

What do you guys do durng the meantime? Do you work your ass off at life? I dont. I feel like I'm in limbo. I don't put any effort into life and I put very little effort into suicide. I put more effort into suicide than I do life, but still nowhere near enough. Because I want to die, I literally do nothing at life. I used to try hard, and then I lost everything and sort of just gave up. I don't even do the basics now. Anyone else relate or do you guys still put a lot of effort into life to see if there's any point ?

x

No, I just do the minimum, on my laptop a lot, being retired for so many years, but at my age(68)I must continue to exercise, eat quite healthy, keep weight down, brush teeth and floss, because I don't want any physical problem to manifest itself and then interfere with my CTB plans

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I lay on the couch all day playing chess online or watching videos - avoiding social interaction, paying bills, etc… hoping I'll contract a terminal illness … I only get dressed to buy food at the store … I have zero interest in being alive

 

[alliebear]

Same, i do nothing but sits in my bedroom. Most of the time i play video game, play with cats, and i do watch some videos on youtube but not much movies as find it really tiring me out. I also didnt go out and get dressedup or anything else. Much wearing my big tees now for two years. Like this until I'm ctb:)

 

[whatstheporpoise15]

I've been dealing with tolerance withdrawals from a benzo. I have a few good hours a day, and then the pain, anxiety, nausea, and severe dizziness starts up. I try to stay in bed as long as possible in the mornings so I don't have to face much of the daytime.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Lay in bed, daydream about things still being okay, eat, walk the dog, browse social media, watch YouTube, browse SS, check up on SN delivery

 

[tilsleepcomes]

I just kind of exist.

The highlight of my day is bed time, when I escape to oblivion for a while.

I've tried to think of something in living to look forward to, or work towards, but there is nothing worth it.

Prepping for my CTB gave me some excitement and purpose, but I recently had a setback to square one, and now I'm disheartened and kind of stuck.

 

[Mr. Incapable]

I gave up trying to live at the beginning of 2020. I've spent two years trying to muster up the courage to take my life after 32 years on this planet and nearly 20 years of depression and poor mental health. All day I spend reading about suicide, thinking about my own death, watching documentaries, distracting myself with shitty mobile games to pass the time, then back to reading about suicide and thinking about my own death. I can't go on much longer & my living circumstances are falling apart. I'm hoping to attempt tomorrow.. hopefully I've got the courage to give it my all.

 

[8evergo]

When I'm in town I have an apartment there I go to town I look at beautiful girls When I feel like it I flirt eat cook something sit also daydream when i'm in the forest have a house there too then sit i look at SS and telegram youtube go into the forest at night and siting meditation there and think and think
and when i'm my family i try to avoid discussion with my family then i'm to blame for everything blah blah that's why i like to go to my house in the mountains