Discussion What did your parent, gaudian or a even freind said that messed you up?

[FoxSauce]

Something anything that stuck with you till now

Idk if anyone made a similar thread, Searched before hand.

For me was - "your so dramatic, why are you scared of anything, what happens at home." stays at home ."

After a fight. (Im talking childhood) I cant even look at people having an argument.

What was yours? If you want to share

Saw a vid on yt and wanted to do the same here.

 

[ctwc]

"You're being manipulated"

 

[randomuser2348]

My mother telling me "You're just like your father"
I was eight. It occured around the time I had been diagnosed with the PTSD branded upon my mind by a father exiled when I was hardly an infant.

 

[Topaz111]

"I don't care if you kill yourself"- said by my mother
I don't remember what my age was exactly, but it must have been between 12-15
I know she was frustrated and angry that I wasn't getting better, she did apologize for it a moment later, but the words still stuck to me years later.
There are many, many other awful things she and other people close to me have said, but this one always immediately comes to mind..

 

[K14~♡]

After I failed in my attempt, I was talking about my problems and fears to a supposed friend. They were suggesting me things, which I told them was a bad idea for me, and this is what they said in response:

"Facepalms K14..."
"C'mon, stop being a coward and act up"
"Face it"
"Just face it"

Nothing really seems wrong with it. It's meant to be positive and could be seen that way; but at that time, it just felt invalidating and pressuring to me. It pissed me off (along with other things they said/ way they acted). It has been stuck in my mind since then (It's pretty recent though)

Also the fact that they always kept sighing in disappointment whenever the topic of my suicidal intentions came up. I hate their attitude towards me. They're suicidal too and stuck in a shitty life, but they act like they're better than me and that me wanting to ctb and attempting are wrong

 

[thelostautistic]

"I don't care if you kill yourself"- said by my mother
I don't remember what my age was exactly, but it must have been between 12-15
I know she was frustrated and angry that I wasn't getting better, she did apologize for it a moment later, but the words still stuck to me years later.
There are many, many other awful things she and other people close to me have said, but this one always immediately comes to mind..

That's a horrendous thing to say to a child. I'm so sorry you had to hear that. You didn't deserve it.

For me many things come to mind but being told to "grow up" by a family member after being sectioned a few years ago still really hurts me. I'd left the house with the intention of ending my life and that's what I was told. I tried to comment this separately but it keeps joining my comments together.

 

[violetforever]

i told my mom its not ok for her to vent about my grandparents/my dad to me because im her child and she just said "youre an adult" as if that makes it appropriate to put all of that on me and as if she hasnt been venting to me about shit i shouldnt be hearing anyway since i was a child and teenager. she just doesnt care about anyone but herself. she doesnt care if it affects me negatively. i already saw my father beat my mother so why would she add onto that pain by revealing to me that he threatened to kill her alone in the woods too? theres too many similar and selfish things shes said like this. ill never forget how i told her she abused me as a child and she just tried to play dumb and defend herself by saying "i never hit you?" as if thats the only form of abuse. ill never forget her telling me as a child that she would slap me if i ever told anyone about the abuse going on in our home. ill never forget being no older than at least 8 years old and her being drunk and telling me about mens dicks. that memory disturbs me so much. ill just never forgive her for everything shes said, theres too much to write.

 

[mars2027]

"If I had known what you were going to be like, I wouldn't have given birth to you."

 

[darksouls]

my father said to me in a very aggressive tone "you are just like your mother"
I saw the hate in his eyes,
that was in the eighties when I was a child

 

[Nitlott]

I wanted someone to make a thread like this for a while.
Everything slipped my mind, damn... There's more but I can't word it properly in English. There was one time I was in my room sewing something on my bag as usual (either patches or pockets) and my mom said something like "training for the future?". As in a sewing college. Can't come up with an analogue but that's a bad thing, basically the same as saying that you'll be mopping floors and streets after graduation. The gpa needed for it is like, REALLY low. Felt shitty the whole evening... Still remember it from time to time

 

[princexhhn]

"I wish I had someone else's daughter. Look at (name), she doesn't cause problems like you do. She's not fucked up like you"

It was a whole hour long tangent my dad went on, in chinese. I was 14 and bleeding from my arm, needing to go to the ER and get stitched. At first I regret the cut, I thought I made a mistake so I asked my parents for help. "What can you do? It's her choice."
I didn't know how to feel and I couldn't hear a lot anymore through my own sobbing and the sound of my heartbeat ringing in my eardrums. I wanted to die. They took me to the ER eventually, but at that point my crying ceased and I just felt empty. They cleaned my wounds and stitched me and I was too out of it to react. "Yeah she has a really high pain tolerance."

There are families that don't get along, but will be there for you when you really needed it. My older sibling usually has no time for me, but opens the door if I showed up crying. My parents couldn't put it aside for a second to take me to the ER when I was bleeding in front of them.

They've changed now, I think, but I still can't forget it.

I wish they would have protected me instead of calling everything "it's her choice, nothing we can do. It's what she wants."
I was 14. I didn't know what I wanted.
Parents are supposed to raise their kids but they acted like this, my misguided actions, wasn't their responsibility.

Though, over the years, they started taking me more seriously and try to understand.. I guess. They're different now, my father never yells at me anymore and yesterday we went shopping.
But it's still there. The fear creeps up sometimes when I ask them for something or talk to them, afraid of being hurt and bracing for impact that never comes. Sometimes if I want to talk with them I'll literally go to another room just to have an excuse to text them instead of saying it.
This scene just keeps replaying in my mind (along with similar events) making me feel like a burden for needing them.

 

[nitrogenous]

"You have such an evil face" "Even the devil isn't as evil as you" "I can't stand looking at your face" "I'm not acknowledging you as my child anymore" "You're not child of a human" "You're the daughter of the devil" "Humans would die anyway, I don't mind losing my child" "I can easily let go of my child" "Your brain doesn't work" "You are as evil as you can get" "You will see when you have a child just like you" "You need to be slapped (killed) by God first and fall to learn your lesson" "Go ahead, just die, it's your life"

These are just some of the things my mom has said to me, if I document everything, it would be never ending. Also, keep in mind that I have some memory gaps/dissociation growing up, so there could well be worse things said to me that I just don't remember right now.

 

[whywere]

When I was going through childhood, my "mom" would say to me: " remember that your dad has your older brother and I have your younger sister" .

I got food, clothing and a roof over my head, then kicked out the day after my 18th birthday, while when my brother and sister turned 18, both got new cars

Walter

 

[Forveleth]

When I went off to college, I was allowed to socialize for thr first time in my life. My parents would frequently call and talk to me and I would tell them about my friends and what I was doing. One day, my dad yelled, "We didn't send you there to hang out with friends, we went tiu there to study. Look at [child of family friend], they are constantly studying, even on breaks. They are doing to well!"

This did two things to me. One, apparently unless I constantly study and have n social life, I will never be good enough for my dad. Two, whenever he compliments me now and says how proud of me he is, I do not believe him. How can he demand I constantly study to be good enough, then be proud of how far I have made it without matching the obsessive work ethic if the family friend?

Thus has screwed me up mentally for decades and I will forever hate him for it.