I will soon try to stop one medication. I hope I have less side effects without it. Though it is still kind of dangerous.
I will feel better when I have more freetime and less pressure/stress.
Maybe if I bought me a new gaming console like a Playstation 5. I have enough money but it is difficult to get one without paying too much.
Meeting my friends more frequently and phoning more with them. One of my friends currently always asks me to play with him. Ususally I am the one who wants that all the time. But currently I don't have time for that sadly.
If there were reforms in my country. Though it is kind of utopian. Liberal assisted suicide laws would comfort me. I need an escape if things really become this horrible as I imagine them. A better welfare state and more money for unemployed people. Thiese two are my biggest wishes on my list.
I could allow me to buy a pizza. I am not sure about my weight. It is higher than usual. But I also drink water like 4-5 liters a day. This could distort my weight.
Finding a gf. But this topic also hurts me a lot due to all my failures. I rather try to forget it until I meet another woman.
My suicidal thoughts, my manic symptoms, my depression symptoms and the extreme pressure could become less. Maybe this stressful period will be soon over. But if I fail I will hate me extremely. It could become quite insane. Performance pressure triggers me so much. I am always so extremely anxious.
I will read some books when I have more freetime. I mostly read David Foster Wallace. I should try to find another author. I read so much of him. I would be cool to find another author with similar skills to comfort me. But that is really difficult.
I will feel better when I have more freetime and less pressure/stress.
Maybe if I bought me a new gaming console like a Playstation 5. I have enough money but it is difficult to get one without paying too much.
Meeting my friends more frequently and phoning more with them. One of my friends currently always asks me to play with him. Ususally I am the one who wants that all the time. But currently I don't have time for that sadly.
If there were reforms in my country. Though it is kind of utopian. Liberal assisted suicide laws would comfort me. I need an escape if things really become this horrible as I imagine them. A better welfare state and more money for unemployed people. Thiese two are my biggest wishes on my list.
I could allow me to buy a pizza. I am not sure about my weight. It is higher than usual. But I also drink water like 4-5 liters a day. This could distort my weight.
Finding a gf. But this topic also hurts me a lot due to all my failures. I rather try to forget it until I meet another woman.
My suicidal thoughts, my manic symptoms, my depression symptoms and the extreme pressure could become less. Maybe this stressful period will be soon over. But if I fail I will hate me extremely. It could become quite insane. Performance pressure triggers me so much. I am always so extremely anxious.
I will read some books when I have more freetime. I mostly read David Foster Wallace. I should try to find another author. I read so much of him. I would be cool to find another author with similar skills to comfort me. But that is really difficult.
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