Discussion What conditions would have to be met to make you reconsider CTB?

[Anxieyote]

This is something I have been thinking about lately. I have heard more than a few statements like, "If ____ was still in my life, I wouldn't CTB" or "If I had _____, I could enjoy my life."

For me, the the point where I would reconsider CTB would be if I managed to find a supportive and active group of friends, and a healthy relationship with someone I genuinely love; at least I think so.

It's difficult to determine if the suicidal thoughts would go away entirely (especially since they have been here for so long), but I do know that I feel a sense of relief in my heart when I think of having those things.

 

[hopelessdreams]

if i didn't live with an abusive family and was comfortable in my own body i could actually enjoy my life, therefor not wanting to ctb

 

[FuneralCry]

Nothing could ever make me want to live personally. I simply have no interest in existing and I simply prefer the sound of death to any kind of life. Even if someone had their ideal life there is always the chance that they will lose what they have or that things will get much worse for them. Life is uncertain and unpredictable and there is no limit as to how bad things can get. I personally do not see life as being worth living, it is just a pointless struggle all for the sake of it. I see consciousness as being a form of torture, it will always hurt to be alive.

 

[mondoCruel]

A shitload of money for me to be able to afford a secluded privileged life

Still, fuck it, I don't see the point of living past 60 even with all the money in the world

 

[Klophy]

I think about this alot.

A supportive social circle and a mutual understanding relationship with a loved one.

The intelligence and ability to make my ideas come to fruition (App ideas, etc)

Being financially stable for the forseeable future, being comfortable in my own body or even better yet being able to change the parts of myself that i hate.

Not having been through my abuse bullying and having a normal childhood. Though i've come to accept those things.

 

[Anonymus]

Conditions have changed throughout my life, which means I don't adapt to the circumstances around me at any given time.
I guess having a good ability to adapt to the environment, whatever it is, would make me see things differently, because everything would be so much simpler.

//

Les condicions han anat cambiant al llarg de la meva vida, el qual vol dir que no se adaptar-me a les circumstàncies que m'envolten en un moment donat.
Suposo que tenir una bona capacitat d'adaptació a l'entorn, sigui quin sigui, em faria veure les coses d'una altra manera, doncs tot sería molt més senzill.

 

[Alive4now]

There are too many things that would have to change to make me rethink ctb. The unbearable physical pain would have to go away for good.
Both of my parents passed recently (11 days apart). They were all that was left of my family. So, having my parents back would help. Since my parents passing my husband of 21 years has said he wants a divorce. He is so angry at me for "destroying his marriage" he said that he will do everything in his power to make sure I loose my family home that was left to me & make sure I have nothing. (He has money so he can do it) He has so much hate for me that he said he will take my dogs away from me also. I don't have any friends (husband is very controlling) my dogs are my only friends. I'm alive today because of the support of my dogs.
The last thing would be having my little sister back. She was murdered in 2015. We weren't raised together, but building a real sisterhood. And then 1 day she was just gone. Since then my baby sister & I are having a hard time connecting.
I would love to feel even the slightest bit of hope for anything....

 

[outrider567]

A shitload of money for me to be able to afford a secluded privileged life

Still, fuck it, I don't see the point of living past 60 even with all the money in the world

You're oh so wrong!--I'm 68 and life was so great until January--If you take care of yourself like I did(plus good Genetics), no medical problems at all, still horny, keep weight normal, eat right, don't drink or smoke, great longtime girlfriend, financially secure, appreciate beauty of nature and storms, life is still awesome, we went on so many trips together and always had a blast-------Now,my Uncle just died at 97 lol but no way would i want to be around past 80----Of course I'll be CTB'ing anyway, won't see my 69th birthday for sure(next May)

There are too many things that would have to change to make me rethink ctb. The unbearable physical pain would have to go away for good.
Both of my parents passed recently (11 days apart). They were all that was left of my family. So, having my parents back would help. Since my parents passing my husband of 21 years has said he wants a divorce. He is so angry at me for "destroying his marriage" he said that he will do everything in his power to make sure I loose my family home that was left to me & make sure I have nothing. (He has money so he can do it) He has so much hate for me that he said he will take my dogs away from me also. I don't have any friends (husband is very controlling) my dogs are my only friends. I'm alive today because of the support of my dogs.
The last thing would be having my little sister back. She was murdered in 2015. We weren't raised together, but building a real sisterhood. And then 1 day she was just gone. Since then my baby sister & I are having a hard time connecting.
I would love to feel even the slightest bit of hope for anything....

Brutal--I wish you the best

 

[mondoCruel]

You're oh so wrong!--I'm 68 and life was so great until January--If you take care of yourself like I did(plus good Genetics), no medical problems at all, still horny, keep weight normal, eat right, don't drink or smoke, great longtime girlfriend, financially secure, appreciate beauty of nature and storms, life is still awesome, we went on so many trips together and always had a blast-------Now,my Uncle just died at 97 lol but no way would i want to be around past 80----Of course I'll be CTB'ing anyway, won't see my 69th birthday for sure(next May)

Maybe I exaggerated a little bit with the 60 age
Still, there's a certain point of old age where life stops being worth living IMO, for some people it happens in their 60's, other latter

 

[Life_and_Death]

It use to be nothing. Nothing can change the abuse I've been through. Nothing can change the fact that 2 sets of parents left me. Nothing can change that I have bpd. But he changed it. For a little while I wasn't suicidal. For a little while things were ok. But he's gone now. I hope he's not, it's only been a little over a week, but my mental disorders are too much for him. I'm not faulting him for that but if it's too much for him how does he think I feel?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

This is something I have been thinking about lately. I have heard more than a few statements like, "If ____ was still in my life, I wouldn't CTB" or "If I had _____, I could enjoy my life."

For me, the the point where I would reconsider CTB would be if I managed to find a supportive and active group of friends, and a healthy relationship with someone I genuinely love; at least I think so.

It's difficult to determine if the suicidal thoughts would go away entirely (especially since they have been here for so long), but I do know that I feel a sense of relief in my heart when I think of having those things.

Nothing. Why even live for what reason to be hungry all the time? Why even live and struggle with problems , work, discomfort, diseases ? What is the meaning of life? There is none imo , there is no purpose to life , no reason for me to work and risk torture, no reason to do anything. Just another thing out of thousands even if we get money old age is still invevitable . Why would i want to be a demented toothless looking like a living corpse bastard that's imobile and in pain for what reason? Why risk all the horrible tortures that can happen to a DNA machine an animal like me

Life is extreme torture. who is enjoying being demented in a nursing home and that's how most humans now end up immobile in a nursing home, in pain demented

 

[Brianiskillingme]

My husband to come back to life. My brothers who died from suicide and cancer need to come back too. I miss them. My final trigger will be if my current boyfriend ends things, there is nothing left.

 

[outatime_85]

As someone who is called family only because I am needed to look after a family member, I do not think anything at this point would keep me from cashing out.

Each day I find it difficult to make it to the next day, knowing that I am not wanted by anyone in my own family, so when I am gone, they will all feel better.

 

[Slimetae]

Nothing since I lost all interest in pretty much everything

 

[WearyHSP]

People tell me PTSD can be healed. If I had tons of money, I could afford doctors who could actually treat my disabling illness, and i could afford top notch therapists to help with the crushing PTSD. I wouldn't live each day wondering when my rent will go too high for me to afford it, while living on disability. Money brings opportunities. If I had millions, I'd be getting massages and treatments and going to workshops...

I can't say if that would cure my PTSD but I believe it'd make great inroads to the ME/CFS. It think it would allow me a support system that would make my life at least tolerable.

If I had love in my life I wouldn't be anxiously awaiting ctb.

There are too many things that would have to change to make me rethink ctb. The unbearable physical pain would have to go away for good.
Both of my parents passed recently (11 days apart). They were all that was left of my family. So, having my parents back would help. Since my parents passing my husband of 21 years has said he wants a divorce. He is so angry at me for "destroying his marriage" he said that he will do everything in his power to make sure I loose my family home that was left to me & make sure I have nothing. (He has money so he can do it) He has so much hate for me that he said he will take my dogs away from me also. I don't have any friends (husband is very controlling) my dogs are my only friends. I'm alive today because of the support of my dogs.
The last thing would be having my little sister back. She was murdered in 2015. We weren't raised together, but building a real sisterhood. And then 1 day she was just gone. Since then my baby sister & I are having a hard time connecting.
I would love to feel even the slightest bit of hope for anything....

I agree with outrider567. Your story is brutal. I'm so sorry your husband is a monster. Hope things get better for you.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

There are things that could extend my life, but nothing that could save it. I know how this all ends for me.

And the likelihood of any of those things happening is so low, it's probably not even worth considering.

 

[jupiterwinds]

Treatment for my chronic pain, financial support from my family so I didn't have to constantly worry about being homeless and living with people abusing me, and for the pandemic(s) to be over so I'm not trapped inside all the time and have to risk worse illness and death to go anywhere or see anyone.

People tell me PTSD can be healed. If I had tons of money, I could afford doctors who could actually treat my disabling illness, and i could afford top notch therapists to help with the crushing PTSD. I wouldn't live each day wondering when my rent will go too high for me to afford it, while living on disability. Money brings opportunities. If I had millions, I'd be getting massages and treatments and going to workshops...

I can't say if that would cure my PTSD but I believe it'd make great inroads to the ME/CFS. It think it would allow me a support system that would make my life at least tolerable.

If I had love in my life I wouldn't be anxiously awaiting ctb.

I agree with outrider567. Your story is brutal. I'm so sorry your husband is a monster. Hope things get better for you.

I relate to a lot of this. I have ME/CFS and EDS, etc.

 

[Enoughnow]

If my abusive ex would dissapear forever and I knew he could never bother ne again and if I had enough money to not have to worry about keeping a roof over my head and leave my current partner but would have to be all of those things

 

[GOODHI]

I was going to consider it no matter what but now I don't want that. If I had money to pay my debts I would be alive longer and maybe that would led me to something else where I no longer feel like this or hopeless

 

[Resinn66]

None. I'm pretty much done

 

[Darkover]

i would need my health returning to a good standing, or at least to be made comfortable with enough weed to last me each month but even with enough weed i still be suicidal every day, a woman to have sex with and to keep me company but who would want me with my conidtion mainly a brain injury, one can dream tho

 

[Euthanza]

1 million dollars just for another wasteful decade; Barely enough comfort to eat, shit and repeat, and finally CTB lol

 

[gwanath]

A cure for meibomian gland dysfunction.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

A girlfriend. Though it would have to still be a healthy relationship that shows real promise to evolve.

Good thing that's never going to happen.

 

[Lebensunwertes]

For me, the the point where I would reconsider CTB would be if I managed to find a supportive and active group of friends, and a healthy relationship with someone I genuinely love; at least I think so.

I feel the same way. Never been in a relationship, my social circle broke up and nobody really gives a shit about me anymore except for my immediate family. Any hobby I get into, any endeavor just feels like a chore. I have no genuine reason to continue living except for my parents. If they're gone I might as well be gone too since there is really no point in dragging on this wasteful existence.

 

[Eternal🌈Rainbow]

It used to be nothing. [...]
But he changed it. For a little while I wasn't suicidal. For a little while things were ok.
But he's gone now. [...]
My mental disorders are too much for him. I'm not faulting him for that but if it's too much for him how does he think I feel?

I just needed to quote these lines and especially those in bold, because that's exactly how and what I feel.

I don't know your personal circumstances, age or what kind of relationship you had with him (since mine wasn't romantic), but I think I can feel your pain and hopelessness, and if it's even just half of what I've been going through since the end of last year 2021, I'm so sorry for you and I wish you could have some relief and peace in whatever way.

Much love

 

[Ceterum]

Good question.

most likely a job environment, which feels safe and not constantly threatening
privately to feel somewhere at home.

I had this for a while and whilst I still had suicidal thoughts every once in a while, they have been in the background for a longer period of time. This is also why I will not rush ctb.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Enough money to live comfortably without working