What cazy rationale keeps you hanging on?

[Manfrotto99]

It use to tell tmyself that I had to hang on for my mother and my dog that loved and needed me. Then my mother died and I told myself that my dog needed me and I couldnt let her down. She was so incredibly loyal. Now she is gone too and I have nothing left. The only thing that keeps me going is that I don't want my narcissistic sister who has made my life hell to get my inheritance. It's still unknown if I will get my fair share as she is the golden child and my abusive father favours her so much, but it was my mothers dying wish that things would be distributed equally. Still I can not put anything past them.

Its not a lot, but I try to hang on until my bastard of a father dies because I want leave it to and help my Cousin and not my sister who does not need or deserve it. I want to have peace of mind knowing that someone derserving will benefit when I go.

What are others peoples reasoning for hanging on, despite the usual SI that can hold us prison to needless suffering.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Money, being told lies I am good enough, believing them, having no choice in the matter, squid game 3, and I don't know… my blanket and sleeping :(( but I don't care about it I just want to be dead

 

[Jadeith]

It use to tell tmyself that I had to hang on for my mother and my dog that loved and needed me. Then my mother died and I told myself that my dog needed me and I couldnt let her down. She was so incredibly loyal. Now she is gone too and I have nothing left. The only thing that keeps me going is that I don't want my narcissistic sister who has made my life hell to get my inheritance. It's still unknown if I will get my fair share as she is the golden child and my abusive father favours her so much, but it was my mothers dying wish that things would be distributed equally. Still I can not put anything past them.

Its not a lot, but I try to hang on until my bastard of a father dies because I want leave it to and help my Cousin and not my sister who does not need or deserve it. I want to have peace of mind knowing that someone derserving will benefit when I go.

What are others peoples reasoning for hanging on, despite the usual SI that can hold us prison to needless suffering.

Well, similarly to you, i'm kept here by deep sense of duty. First - my parents. They are good people and do not deserve to bury their child. Also, I owe them support when old age problems hit. Second - unfortunately for me, i do have offspring so i have to make sure it reaches some sort of independence before i allow myself to sleep.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I want to hold on till my Dad goes first. I may feel obliged to linger if I'm in the middle of a (creative) project for work. Which is kind of dumb really, seeing as they could easily get someone to replace me. My work ethic is pretty strong though.

I just don't really know after that. How I'll feel. I'll be devastated that my Dad's gone for one. But, will I still want to visit a few places before I go? I don't know. Depends on my money situation at that point I suppose. Plus, I'm worried SI will bugger things up.

I also have a (suspected) narcissistic relative who will influence my decision making. They are the reason I became suicidal to begin with. I can absolutely imagine that having to see them again- say at a funeral would be enough of a trigger for me to do it. Ironic if I end up feeling grateful to them for that!

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't have any rationale that is being used to keep me hanging on. Sure, I do feel bad about the mess that I'd be creating with regards to my family but that isn't really enough to make me stay alive since creating such a mess is inevitable anyway as death is inevitable. Those who act like we are immortal are so ignorant. For me, it's honestly just a matter of time until I get the resources as well as the right opportunity

 

[SoulWhisperer]

My rationale used to be videogames, maybe still is in the very back of my mind. But it makes me happy, so I wouldn't call it "crazy". In my view what makes you happy is different for each person, and if I'm happy with this I don't think that's any wrong. Although, still, it USED to be my reason (Along with trying to be myself as I need to conceal my true self to survive in this place), right now I don't have anything except the lack of a way out as survival reason.

 

[deadstillwalking]

I'm against CTB, the idea of gaining absolute freedom once I finish studying and move out keeps me from becoming nothing but a walking corpse

 

[Gangrel]

CTB hurts and is scary

 

[Unrequitedlife]

I guess i hang on for my children. But further to that, my ideation as exhausting as it is, is primarly passive aside from the times where i feel it as an urge rather than a thought. Those times are really tough. I'm sorry to hear of what you go through with your family, it sounds tough

 

[Daxter777]

I want to experience the beautiful stories of a few games I bought on sale. But shit gets tough then i just think fuck it. Im also scared shitless of ctb. I honestly think something bad is going to happen that just tips me over the edge. These days im not in a good place and im a burden on others so i am getting more tempted to just bite the bullet and drink the sn.

 

[neonzebra]

I had the same rationale as you - my mother. Now she's gone it's my cat. I'm also worried my nephews would be affected if I did it. I don't want them growing up knowing someone close to them did this. I want them to be happy and have a good life.

 

[TheHolySword]

there's not really anything keeping me here. my family will be okay without me, my friends will be okay without me. my parents will take care of my pets. i don't offer much to this world that couldn't be filled easily after my absence. i know it will crush my loved ones and they'll never really heal but i can't live like this anymore. and i don't have to. no reason for me to hang around anymore except to meet the minimum requirements for my life insurance to pay out

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

there's nothing rational .only a fear of failure and remaining alive with more brain damage. i need to get to work on making my suicide plan more reliable and ready to go and then i'll reach non-existence forever which is what i want

 

[nomoredolor]

I attempted on Dec 4 then spent time in mental hospital and now in daily outpatient therapy.

I used to think I could wait until one or both of my parents passed to mitigate the suffering. But I can't wait that long. My new target goal is this Fall. So I can meet my sisters baby and see My Chemical Romance in concert. And a lot could happen between now and then. Each day I stay is a gift from me to my loved ones.

I don't know if I'll be able to wait that long but I'm trying. Whilst still planning my death and funeral arrangements. Yesterday I bought a plot at the cemetery. Next week I have a meeting with the funeral director to preplan my after death care. Doing these things helps keep me alive short term because they give me hope that peace will come soon and I'm tending to practical matters.

Anna

 

[Manfrotto99]

I attempted on Dec 4 then spent time in mental hospital and now in daily outpatient therapy.

I used to think I could wait until one or both of my parents passed to mitigate the suffering. But I can't wait that long. My new target goal is this Fall. So I can meet my sisters baby and see My Chemical Romance in concert. And a lot could happen between now and then. Each day I stay is a gift from me to my loved ones.

I don't know if I'll be able to wait that long but I'm trying. Whilst still planning my death and funeral arrangements. Yesterday I bought a plot at the cemetery. Next week I have a meeting with the funeral director to preplan my after death care. Doing these things helps keep me alive short term because they give me hope that peace will come soon and I'm tending to practical matters.

Anna

Hope you get to see My Chemical Romance before you go.

 

[areyousafe??]

I need to get my will witnessed this weekend, then wait for a time my sister will be visiting so that she can execute it. Also promised my psychiatrist I will contact him before I attempt.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

My rationale is that I (should) know that I'm overreacting to how bad things could get and I should hold off to CTB until I really need to. I would prefer to die of natural causes, if I could get something that would be quick. It would feel like confirmation from the universe that this is meant to be. I also like the idea of dying in hospice so no one would have to find me.

 

[NonEssential]

My parents, siblings, pets, but also the fear of failing to CTB. Still, I feel I'm over time starting to care less about all that, just expecting that final straw to break one day.